Rainy, and Free, Satuday

Most of life is mundane: laundry, errands, cleaning, work, etc.  I guess I've been waiting for inspiration, to have some eloquence of writing, but it doesn't arrive.  And maybe I'm not eloquent, anyway.

It's raining now.  Got a walk in earlier.  Bumper crop of Amanitas under the birch and cedar trees.  Crowds of parents and dogs and runners and friends; shouts and cheers in the distance, for some rowing event.  A little while later the wind kicked up, boats and birds and flotsam all bobbing on the water.

Had errands to do.  Started making a salad three hours ago, which led to a scouring of the fridge and cooking various items before they went bad (and lots of cleaning, and taking out the compost and garbage.)  I haven't been home much, my good intentions haven't panned out.  When I've been home, I've mostly just slept.

Anyway, made a curried apple salad (yogurt, celery needed to be used), and that turned out the best of everything; it's pretty tasty.  (Apples, raisins, walnuts, celery, scallion, sheep yogurt, lemon juice, and curry powder.)  Also, I decided to go off of sugar for a while, as of Halloween, so, the sweetness of the raisins was kinda' pleasant.  The only thing I'm really craving is an eggnog latte, but that was more power-of-suggestion, because I read a news story that mentioned it yesterday.

Sauteed kale and garlic (kale been around all week.)  And then made apple sauce because one of the apples I bought earlier today was unpleasantly mushy, which led to me finding more and more apples stowed here and there.  Anyway, there's a lot of it, and I'm waiting for it to cool down so I can go pay a bill and get out of the house.

I thought I had to work today, but found out I had the day wrong, and so had a day with no "shoulds" attached to it.

Working on three scenes for acting class, all from "Kramer vs. Kramer" (Joanna and Ted).  (Curiously, all of our scenes for the class are from movies, though one was a play first, "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf".)  I need to write out my script; I keep changing where Joanna's coming from, and my "wants" from last week are not necessarily relevant to where I'm at now.  The stakes are super high, she's not the kind of woman that takes leaving her child lightly.  In the first scene, I feel like the first half is like a check list you make for youself to check stuff off that you did, all the while knowing that even as it looks like you've accomplished something, you haven't done the ONE thing that you had to do.  In this case, she's telling Ted that she's not taking Billy (their son) with her when she goes.  And then when that comes out, she has to convince herself that he's better off without her.  Because that's the choice: herself or her son?  And she says that if she stays, she'll kill herself, so, her choice is to leave.  (If you believe that the words are true for the character when they say them.  And I do.)  This is week four or five?  I can't remember.  Psychologically, logically, I understand it.  Emotionally, I'm still trying to find how to get there.  How I get there.

Still haven't figured that out.