A fragment of a thing

You're dirty. You smell.  21 days wearing the same clothes will do that to you. You're also hungry, so you head toward the only place open for blocks and blocks. It's fancy, but you forget about how you appear, and you have money.  You feel entitled to eat. 

You enter, the hostess comes over after you stand at the counter for an uncomfortably long pause, perhaps they were hoping you'd leave, but you don't. You order coffee and a pastry.  It's a fancy dessert.  After you pay, she suggests that you might want to sit outside. You look behind you at the room, mostly empty, saved a smartly dressed table having drinks, a business lunch. Late. You hoist your pack and walk back out through the doors to the nice, but separate patio. 

You muster up some dignity, as you sit alone and wait. Think to yourself, "You don't know what I'm like in my other life. I'm not like everyone else. We'd probably have things in common. Under better circumstances."  But you don't say it.

In another life you're a: Teacher. Doctor. Lawyer. Own your own business. Bartender. Waiter. Stay-at-home mom. Carpenter. Cook. Artist. Singer. Writer.  You run meetings.  You do volunteer work. You drive a car.  You walk your dog.  Go to concerts.  You remember people's birthdays.  But now you're the same as everyone else they see.  A vagabond, traveler, pilgrim, hiker, taker, entitled.  21 days out, wearing the same clothes, clothes that don't come all that clean in the infrequent washing in the sink.  Clothes and pack straps soaked in days of sweat and miles of dust.  Any sense of stratification has long ago been stripped away, it's easy bonding with fellow travelers.  But you're not with them now.

You sit outside and relish your dessert.  Are you being judged for how you spend your money? After all, you could've had a cheap beer and sandwich like everyone else, but you have the money, and you wanted to treat yourself. You wanted to remember who you used to be.  You want to be the exception, you're not like all the others!  But you are.  You're an exile.  An outsider.  No longer unique, and you have now been cast outside normalcy, outside the city walls.  

You have become the Other.

To be continued (not immediately)...

What I Did Read

In order of finishing, though not including all the books I started and got bogged down in, but didn't finish.

1)  Franny and Zooey - J. D. Salinger
2)  Things that Make White People Uncomfortable - Michael Bennett
3)  Not That Bad-Dispatches from Rape Culture - Roxane Gay (ed)
4)  Born a Crime - Trevor Noah
5)  Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - J.K. Rowling (The giant illustrated version which was fun to read.  And first time I'd read any of them, never really in my demographic.)
6) The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis (Read before, but I needed to read something hopeful.)
7)  Girls Like Us - Gail Giles (Young adult.)
8)  Big Little Lies - Liane Moriarty (Recommended by a friend, and also, lighter than most of what I'd been reading, so a nice break.)
9)  Navigating Early - Clare Vanderpool (Young adult.)
10) Bitch Planet Book Two, President Bitch - DeConnick, Kelly Sue (Graphic Novel.  Read while doing laundry at a friend's house because our dryer had been out for weeks.)
11) Secondhand Time - The Last of the Soviets - Svetlana Alexievich
12) New Poets of Native Nations - Heid E. Erdrich (ed) (Another book that was a joy to read. And second favorite thing I read this summer.)
13) Calypso - David Sedaris (My favorite of his.  I appreciate the honesty.)
14) Encounters with the Archdruid - John McPhee (A book I put on a hold list, and then realized I had for years, and hadn't ever gotten around to reading, so I did.)
15) Razor Girl - Carl Hiaasen (Mystery.  The category of which made me confused on if this was or not, and then I thought, "Well, every book you haven't read is essentially a mystery, or you'd never keep turning the pages to see what happens next.  And yes, the genre is something else.  But...)
16) Yes Please - Amy Poehler (Far and away my favorite thing I read all summer. Struck a chord.)

Turned in all the rest of the partially read, and picked up Carrie Fisher's Shockaholic and finished that...I think I would have enjoyed knowing her.

Summer Part II

And for Part II: Whidbey Island (Oak Harbor, Dugualla Bay, Deception Pass State Park.) Days of heavy smoke from all the surrounding wildfires.

Pier in Downtown Oak Harbor, August 15/L Herlevi 2018

Roadside Poppies, Dugualla Bay, August 14/L Herlevi 2018

Northbeach, Deception Pass, August 14/L Herlevi 2018

Nature Trail, Cranberry Lake, August 14/L Herlevi 2018

Where the Sea Meets the Sky, August 14/L Herlevi 2018

Nothingness, W Beach, August 14/L Herlevi 2018

Summer

Keep trying to write, and then running out of steam.  In the meantime, some pictures of my summer. Part I: Mt. Rainier and the North Cascades. On Mt. Rainier it was cool, and cloudy with expected thunder storms (and relief from the smoke and heat.)  In the N. Cascades, the smoke was at hazard level, and it was around 90 degrees F.

Mt. Rainier Nat'l Park, August 11/L Herlevi, 2018

Meadow in Cloud, Mt. Rainier, August 11/L Herlevi 2018

Electric Forest, N Cascades, August 15/L Herlevi 2018

Newhalem, August 15/L Herlevi 2018

Newhalem, August 15/L Herlevi 2018

No more rush to finish a book

Was trying for the blackout in the Library Book Bingo again this year.  Blackout is 24 books.  Even though the deadline is technically Tuesday, and even though I technically could have finished a couple more books by then, I decided to turn in what I had today.  It was kinda' fun to do last summer, I was immobile for most of it with foot injuries, so had lots of time to read.  I finished 16 (I think) this summer, and got part-way through about eight others.  Several of those I just returned, I'll probably do the same with the rest.  It's good for me to be more aware of where I'm giving my time/energy/money/life.  I don't think I have any obligation to finish books that had become a chore to read, take on work that wasn't mine to carry, etc.  I'd like to not always find myself buried in the weeds; I'd like to begin to follow the good, good for me.  Believe I'm allowed to have good things.  It started to feel like a requirement, even if I put it on myself, and it's the end of the summer, a beautiful weekend, and I want to enjoy it.  This is all new territory, and good for me to be aware of; to put into practice.  (Also, I have had a headache for a good day now, and don't want to read anymore.  Partially, earlier dehydration, partially, possible food-born illness, lite.)

I will say though, I like participating in the challenge.  It helps nudge me to get around to reading books that I've been meaning to read for a while.  I like getting suggestions from friends.  I like that the categories expand my horizons, get me out of my reading auto-pilot.

Pretty much all new housemates as of this weekend (except the man that lives next door to me.)  So far, the household feels pretty social again, that past year was very anti-social overall.  Fingers crossed things work out well.  For all my complaints, my landlord does often find good people to move in (there have been a few scary people, but that's been true every place I've lived.)  I'm guardedly optimistic.

I should go to the garden, been over a week since I've been.  Planted beans, and had a nascent cantaloupe, should see if it's still around.