After

I was waiting for the rain to let up, the weather reports said it was "overcast" but if anything, it just kept raining harder.  Eventually, I just had to make a run for the bus, and I was soaked when I got to the stop.  As I waiting under the building awning, I noticed the woman several feet away, underdressed, bare-legged, flip-flops, also soaked, with some belongings in a garbage sack.  I wondered if I should offer something, but I didn't really  have anything.  She caught the first bus at any rate.

The concert/dinner went well, though I kept having coughing fits; I always have trouble taking in breath after I have a cold, possibly a temporary form of asthma.

People hung out after the event was over, and helped clean up, including dishes.  Someone offered me a ride, so I left.  The rain began to let up.  The clouds breaking up enough to reveal the sudden appearance of a bright, waxing, rising moon.  We drove along the perimeter of the lake, site of the earlier pathway of lights that the neighborhood does every December, the light now extinguished, the crowds, dispersed.

Back home, one of my housemates has been making the house into a home, and continued that earlier in the evening, so I came home into a more pleasant living room, and they'd hung up some Christmas swag I'd made earlier but hadn't gotten around to hanging.  It makes me happy in a way that has eluded me before, perhaps it's the motivation...hard to explain, like it's for everyone, not just for their own benefit?  It's nice.  (I don't really know who's doing it, though I could make a guess.)

Every time my mind wandered to "what ifs?" and "whys?", I stopped my thoughts and reminded myself that being here wasn't some substitute for anything else, not a distraction.  I was exactly where I wanted to be.