Wednesday

The sky is blue, mostly clear, a silvery light, yellow leaves stubbornly hanging on to the one horse chestnut, like a gown: distractingly lovely.  Just missed getting caught in the final deluge of the storm last night, ducked into a restaurant to kill time, and when I looked out the window, the sky was wringing itself out.  By the time I left, the clouds were already clearing, all washed clean, sparkling stars and a quarter of a moon shining as I trudged my way up Queen Anne.  The world is a beautiful place.

My physical therapist gave me the contact for a hip specialist.  Fingers crossed that it's a cartilage tear (in the joint); even if that requires surgery, it beats the alternatives.

Opportunities have opened up like a flood gate.  Don't even know how much they conflict, but I'm trying to making myself leap before I give it too much thought and make up excuses not to do them.  Had a conversation with a director about directing, he asked if I was going for acting as an excuse to not do the directing, but I think if I pursued directing, it would be the opposite; when I was in college I kept doing more and more tech work (it's complicated) instead of pursuing acting when that's what I loved.  And I was competent (in the back-of-house work), but maybe a little jealous, and maybe it kept me involved in the scene when I wasn't ready to perform, or maybe I was making excuses.  Trying not to do that a second time.  (Years ago, when I took an awful job to pay back my tuition, the man interviewing me said something about "not selling yourself short."  And I took the job, though it wasn't the one I really wanted, perhaps I didn't feel I would get the other (dishwashing vs. waiting, for the record); I didn't stay there long, but man, his words stick with me.)

My hope is that we can all share a world where we have the basics, enough security to pursue our dreams.  I wish harm on no one.