And from Spain

Spain.  Hiking around in the heat.

Zubiri, Navarra. August 27/L Herlevi 2019

Navarra Morning. August 28/L Herlevi 2019

Sunflower Army, Navarra. August 29/L Herlevi 2019

Puenta la Reina, Navarra. August 30/L Herlevi, 2019

What I Did Read

In order of finishing, though not including all the books I started and got bogged down in, but didn't finish.

1)  Franny and Zooey - J. D. Salinger
2)  Things that Make White People Uncomfortable - Michael Bennett
3)  Not That Bad-Dispatches from Rape Culture - Roxane Gay (ed)
4)  Born a Crime - Trevor Noah
5)  Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - J.K. Rowling (The giant illustrated version which was fun to read.  And first time I'd read any of them, never really in my demographic.)
6) The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis (Read before, but I needed to read something hopeful.)
7)  Girls Like Us - Gail Giles (Young adult.)
8)  Big Little Lies - Liane Moriarty (Recommended by a friend, and also, lighter than most of what I'd been reading, so a nice break.)
9)  Navigating Early - Clare Vanderpool (Young adult.)
10) Bitch Planet Book Two, President Bitch - DeConnick, Kelly Sue (Graphic Novel.  Read while doing laundry at a friend's house because our dryer had been out for weeks.)
11) Secondhand Time - The Last of the Soviets - Svetlana Alexievich
12) New Poets of Native Nations - Heid E. Erdrich (ed) (Another book that was a joy to read. And second favorite thing I read this summer.)
13) Calypso - David Sedaris (My favorite of his.  I appreciate the honesty.)
14) Encounters with the Archdruid - John McPhee (A book I put on a hold list, and then realized I had for years, and hadn't ever gotten around to reading, so I did.)
15) Razor Girl - Carl Hiaasen (Mystery.  The category of which made me confused on if this was or not, and then I thought, "Well, every book you haven't read is essentially a mystery, or you'd never keep turning the pages to see what happens next.  And yes, the genre is something else.  But...)
16) Yes Please - Amy Poehler (Far and away my favorite thing I read all summer. Struck a chord.)

Turned in all the rest of the partially read, and picked up Carrie Fisher's Shockaholic and finished that...I think I would have enjoyed knowing her.

Friday night, an act of habit in trying to find something to say

Went to one of the free shows tonight, ate dinner with friends there. It was warm, the falling light was a warm pinkish glow, the music was good, and there was a big, happy mass of humanity. Later there was an art show projected onto the fountain, but it wasn't quite dark enough for it when we were leaving. It'll play one more time. (It reminds me of when I was a kid and we'd go camping in the North Cascades and drive to Newhalem at dusk to walk the trails and look at the "colorful waterfalls," as we called them. They had pointed colored lights on the trails and the waterfalls. I still stop there if I'm in the vicinity. It's where the North Cascade Highway closes for the winter; on the west side.) I like how many people play in the fountain, getting soaked or just sit around on the edge and watch it, while music plays. They were letting the water blast out like a cannon in random sequence. It all makes me happy. Summers are why people live here. (January and February are gloomy, dark and rough, unless you ski and there's snow.)

Right now I'm finding it easier to connect without words, but need to integrate all this movement and clown stuff with someone else's words and directions and make it real for me. It'll be easier off book. Maybe it would help if I figured out what the story arc is without the words. I don't think we will work our scene tomorrow, but I should be ready anyway.  We need to run it more, we have more blocking than most of the other scenes.

Meeting with a bunch of clowns on Sunday, but not sure what we are doing. We want to try to keep the momentum going. Something was definitely starting to happen, and you have to keep working, practicing. I've fallen off a lot of the Movement stuff, there are a few things I do most of the time, but I'm not practicing much of the balancing exercises anymore. I make excuses because I'm tired or my hand hurts, but those were true before and I practiced then anyway. I've fallen off almost all of  the voice stuff, mostly because the ENT doc told me not to do anything. I'll try to remember this fall, or take the class again. I'm slightly braver.

Watching doors shut, slightly demoralized, but they weren't the right ones. They need to shut. In the book Art and Fear they comment on the idea that if you chase two rabbits, you catch neither. I don't even want to chase rabbits. I can't endlessly keep my options open, at some point I have to decide and act on that. Let it fail if it will, but if you never enter the battle, you might always be safe, but you never get to know what it is to win outright. I need to let myself win, or go down fightin'.

Uninspired

I had my windows open in the afternoon (at work) and the soft warm breezes blowing in had me itching to get outside, long before I could. Had to convince myself it was actually Tuesday and not Friday already. There's a summer vacation feeling about the world right now. Finally went outside to read in the grass after work, somewhat surprised (not sure why) by how many insects crawled over me. Continually had to flick them off. Eventually got too hot and went to find air-conditioning and tried to get some writing done. It was only in the 80's, but if you grew up here, that's pretty warm. In the place I ended up, the people in the windows kept moving into shadier areas of the room, saying it was too much sun, so it's not just me.



Frame/L Herlevi 2013

The writing was nothing exciting, but it was good to get back in the practice of it. I had a couple of story ideas that I wrote down somewhere a few months back, haven't written anything on them since. Came home to a bathroom full of ants.  Have now tried spraying the bathroom down with vinegar water (1:1). Read somewhere over the weekend that it's supposed to help, at least to kill the scent trail. Worth a try, although everything smells like vinegar now. Will go check shortly to see if it worked. Obviously, the pesticides did not.

Didn't end up submitting any photos to LongShot afterall, deadline was yesterday. I wasn't crazy about anything I had, I haven't gotten the 35 mm film developed, but when I was shooting it, nothing excited me, either. (Did come up with a couple of ideas for personal projects though, need to remember to write them down, if I haven't already.) I also got my resume reviewed by a couple of people today, so that's something. Interview is next week. (One of them did a bunch of editing on it, which is fantastic. I've never written an acting resume-nor seen one, before. I found a template online and used that.)

Legs/L Herlevi 2013

Tethered/L Herlevi 2013

These pictures are a few of the ones that I kinda' like, but didn't seem like anything to submit for a fundraiser. I'm gonna shoot a couple more rolls through the Holga to see if it's worth keeping or not. Will drop them off this weekend to get processed and scanned. I have a scanner, but I don't think I can scan negatives on it, I should check. There's a lot I need to scan. These were shot on an old point-and-shoot digital camera. (Edited and published blogs do not look the same lay-out wise.)

I had an epiphany after I got home, can't remember exactly what it was, something about being myself and to stop worrying about if he despises who I am. Not actually my problem. Something like that. It's been bothering me, and it shouldn't. It would be destructive for me to try to guess who I should be for someone to like me. Even if nobody likes me, I can't keep losing myself to be the flavor of the month. At the end of the day, I'm the one that has to live with me. (It's not really news, it's just that I've been behaving as if I didn't already know this.)

I can hear someone learning the ukelele, through the vents. I might have to take up the banjo for real, now. (Banjo is infinitely louder, but I won't play it at night.) Now off to watch Spanish cooking episodes (Made in Spain-Jose Andres) until I pass out.

Shakespeare

On a non-ranting note:), spoke to someone about taking his non-acting Shakespeare class this summer.  I'll have to see if I can swing it with work, use vacation time. I want to take a Shakespeare acting class next year, but this would be good for language and context beforehand. Plus I'm trying to study with as many different instructors as possible.

"Summer 2013 Four weeks, four genres: the histories, tragedies, comedies, and romances of William Shakespeare, their context, their quarrels, their legacies.The course is designed to expose readers of Shakespeare to the traditions of staging Shakespeare, to explore how productions have historically embraced, promoted, and challenged this supreme writer, to introduce this complex writer to artists of the theatre and to make these texts accessible for the daunted."-from the course description. Plus it's A-term...I am slightly insane, given how the rest of my summer is scheduled.  At least the days are long.