Tried to get enough (more than four hours) sleep last night, so went to bed with a movie before 8 pm. Woke up for real just before 5 am, slightly glum, because at some point I had turned on the radio, so woke up to news. Hard time with the meditation thing, didn't feel like doing it, but I think the point might be to do it anyway, make it a habit you keep (like exercise, or yoga, or a healthy diet) so forced myself through it. When I walked out of my room, pleasantly surprised by how bright the yard looked through the window. Remembered I had to take the kitchen garbage out, so went to do that. Someone had thrown some pizza in it, a bird shadow crossed over me, and so I threw a crust into the yard for the crows. When I looked up again, one of the adults was flying up to the roof, crust in beak. The rest of the family waiting up at the top. There were five again. That fifth crow now appears to also be a baby, on closer look, but it keeps a distance, tries to feed itself. The other two, aggressively crying, begging, flailing wings, and jabbing at the adult with the food. This other, a couple feet away, then chasing a small, quickly rolling, white ball of crust down the roof with a series of hops and short flaps. Crust lands in drain. I didn't see if it picked it out, but it began to walk back up the incline. Adorable. Maybe it was born earlier. It seems less attached to the rest, but it flies and lands with the group. A bit later, getting on the bus, my first thoughts were, "The bus is full. Full of adults." Not typically either. Amazingly blank today, and I feel groggy. I think I slept too much. One of my colleagues bought me a mocha, not even Friday today. Now, I'm wired.
"Many things become possible once you get on your own side."-Holiday Mathis, June 18, 2013
19.) I believe in redemption, endless second chances (starting to believe in it, even for myself) out to infinity: as many chances as it takes to get it right.
