Thursday

Every morning I awaken to the sound of bird song, usually a robin is the loudest.  Does this happen everywhere?  Makes for a pleasant alarm.

Today's rain drips thick and heavy, pooling like mercury, until the leaf flicks, and it suddenly drops down to soil.

I shake the thought that today is Friday.  It's not, been off all week.

I joined a protest, then joined a march, on one of the days where the sun shone.  For my lunch break.  Walking back to work, I saw the snow goose swimming in a fountain with the Canada geese.  When I returned later to take a photo, all the birds had flown away.

I went back to look again today, but found a small flock of ring-necked ducks in place of all the geese.  Nearby, the herons have returned to nest in the rookery for the season, and I came across my no-longer-mini rabbit for the third time this week, eating grass at the edge of a field.  Now that the crowds have receded, I guess it's safe to come out during the day again.

An old email system is being deleted, so I decided to look through it, see if I needed to save anything.  I was reminded that I had worked with a lot of amazing and compassionate people.  I wouldn't go back there, but it's good to remember.

Perhaps my eyes need to be more wide, more open, more seeing of what is there, and not always what I wish I saw.  That maybe we got lost here somehow, that it was really only catching up, a way to remember who we once were, and no longer are.  (And I wouldn't go back.  Life changes you, that's okay.  Who we've become really is enough.)

Oh, and that's an early call tomorrow.  Guess I'll be catching a cab.

Three hours until rehearsal

Barely got any of the script memorized, I don't know if we will work on our scene today or not, it's the last one, but we will probably all be in the room for the whole six hours. I thought I heard birds singing a little while ago, but when I opened my window, there was only silence. Some geese had flown over in the distance, and a baby crow cawed across the street once or twice, and then a truck rattled past, but no robins or sparrows are singing here now.

There are these free late afternoon (live music) shows on Friday nights in August at Seattle Center. I was gonna go last night, but thought it would be better if I worked on memorizing my lines, plus I'm still really tired and I wanted a nap. I ended up reading about half of Art and Fear, and then came home to take a nap, but didn't get back up until now. I've got three hours. There's not really alot of text, the script is kinda' cluttered with so much stage direction that it's hard to find the lines. I've actually crossed most of it out. I want to get the lines down though, so I can work on the changes, figure out what I want moment to moment (I think we decided there were 20 beats.) I'm not sure what I want overall, I must want something. The lines feel reactionary, not assertive. The play is about love, in a general sense, so that would be a big overriding theme, but not specific in the scene.  I know I just said I wasn't going to discuss the show, but all this is so general to any process, it's not specific about this rehearsal and show.

I need to journal too, to figure out more about my character. I can't hold a pen right now, which is why I'm typing, my hand is really bad this morning: swollen, painful, has been most of the week. I need to find a doctor I can work on this food intolerance thing with. There have to be foods that don't freak out my immune system. I think I know what set this off, but I don't know how to heal it. I know it's possible, but I want to find someone that knows what they are doing, that regularly works with this. The regular doctors only offer drugs, which work on the symptoms, but that's not exactly the same as being healed.