Almost 10 pm, and someone has just finished mowing the lawn. Walking home after rehearsal, and after stopping to water the garden, the sky was candy aquamarine; the wide expanse of pavement, warm; the air quickly chilling as the sky darkened with each block I walked. Closer to home, I passed through a wall of swirling insects. I stopped to try to fathom the beginning and end of them: 15 feet up, at least 15 feet wide, and I could see more under the street lamps further off.
Earlier in the day someone had written about a place that he said gave him chills and brought him to tears to even think about. I thought as I walked (and have thought before) that even if you don't believe in the supernatural, that all we have is the material world and this life, we give places meaning and then make them holy not through any supernatural means but by our attention to them. By our visiting them. By walking the paths. By bringing all that we are along on the journey: our hopes, fears, wishes, dreams, loves, secrets, pain, devotion, blood, sweat, and tears. Our presence gives them meaning. The continual expression of our humanity, all of it, makes it holy. And I don't think these places have to particularly have religious meaning, nor do I think you need to be religious or spiritual to be moved. And these places change people, regardless of why they thought they went. And if that's true, and we give and take from those places through our mere presence, then our lives become a part of it, and we carry a little spark of it inside of us when we depart.
Passing through the insects has made me itchy, so I shall depart.
Showing posts with label evening. Show all posts
Showing posts with label evening. Show all posts
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Missed rehearsal
It's all sparks and heat, though there is something to be said for calm sanity ruling the day. Must've dreamt about hummingbirds and crows, I don't have any memory of it, but seeing both today keeps eliciting an as of yet unidentified emotional response. Wispy things, hard to grab ahold of, these fleeting memories of dream states. They pull my focus, over and over, as if I should know something that I don't. The hummingbird sits on the branch, in between visiting flowers, wet, and scraggly in it's winter plumage. It swings it's head from side to side, possibly singing, possibly just looking around. The crow looks at me and only waddles a few feet over when I pass by: unconcerned, not in any hurry.
And I want to mention that I hit the jack-pot with the woman that cut my hair: I love this haircut! (And I have only said that a handful of times ever.) Wish I had saved enough to get my headshots done now. Oh, well, maybe I should take a picture of it (for bang length, facial framing.)
After work, a brief, lingering orange in the western sky before giving way to night. An almost full moon climbs it's way toward its's zenith, the sky scrubbed clean after a day of rain. I walk carefully over wet brick, memory of the slippery soles in my mind even though my current shoes have a decent grip to them. After meeting with my partner, I manage to miss three busses, and consequently miss rehearsal (singing.) For the last two, I could've run, but didn't think I would make it, still thought I'd slip and fall. After the third, I go into a record store, I haven't been in in a while. The vinyl selection has doubled or tripled, beginning to look like a record store from the late 80's. And they said vinyl was dead, never coming back.
Again, this one makes me laugh. But joy is a valid emotional state, not all emotions are tears and shouting matches. These last three...I don't necessarily feel like I'm using the laughter to cover something up; I think I'm just laughing. Whatever comes up for the exercise, it'll be safe to go there. (And oddly enough, the mere thought of that makes me cry.)
And I want to mention that I hit the jack-pot with the woman that cut my hair: I love this haircut! (And I have only said that a handful of times ever.) Wish I had saved enough to get my headshots done now. Oh, well, maybe I should take a picture of it (for bang length, facial framing.)
After work, a brief, lingering orange in the western sky before giving way to night. An almost full moon climbs it's way toward its's zenith, the sky scrubbed clean after a day of rain. I walk carefully over wet brick, memory of the slippery soles in my mind even though my current shoes have a decent grip to them. After meeting with my partner, I manage to miss three busses, and consequently miss rehearsal (singing.) For the last two, I could've run, but didn't think I would make it, still thought I'd slip and fall. After the third, I go into a record store, I haven't been in in a while. The vinyl selection has doubled or tripled, beginning to look like a record store from the late 80's. And they said vinyl was dead, never coming back.
Again, this one makes me laugh. But joy is a valid emotional state, not all emotions are tears and shouting matches. These last three...I don't necessarily feel like I'm using the laughter to cover something up; I think I'm just laughing. Whatever comes up for the exercise, it'll be safe to go there. (And oddly enough, the mere thought of that makes me cry.)
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Evening, Aquarius Moon
I stood on the corner, waiting for the light to change, watching the full moon rise over the barbed-wire fence, through cloudless, dusky pink skies. Almost home. It's just past eight and the sun has already set; a hazy golden afterglow on the western mountains is all that remains of the day.
Traffic is steady. House is hot. Yellow jackets are gradually increasing their territory to include the back porch, though, they generally seem to mind their own business. I think they only attacked me because I stuck my hand (unwittingly) in their nest.
Finally gave away my ticket. If people show up (things happen) I should have friends at each performance. I watched some trailers of scenes today. I know I shouldn't have, I saw bits of my scene, but it won't be the same...changing the genders, changes the circumstances, even if the wants remain the same. That reminds me, I need to look up some things about Maine.
Finished the monologue play, began to read another one from the 1960's. Still haven't found that other book I misplaced. Had a bunch of tomatoes to pick. One smashed on the way home, so, now I need to clean out the bag, probably my pants as well. It's all over my knee. The avocado did it in. I don't know why I carry random vegetables around all the time. I'm not going to eat it tonight, I coulda' left it at work.
After 4 or 5 years, I finally (almost) know one of the finnish songs by heart (not Finlandia): Minun Kultani Kaunis On, it's a joke song. I kinda' know what it's about, too. After that, I cannot remember any more suomi. I don't think I can take it again this year, though I'll ask. The instructor is good.
I have nothing weird to tell you at this time. My eye sockets are a little sore from tapping on them.
Traffic is steady. House is hot. Yellow jackets are gradually increasing their territory to include the back porch, though, they generally seem to mind their own business. I think they only attacked me because I stuck my hand (unwittingly) in their nest.
Finally gave away my ticket. If people show up (things happen) I should have friends at each performance. I watched some trailers of scenes today. I know I shouldn't have, I saw bits of my scene, but it won't be the same...changing the genders, changes the circumstances, even if the wants remain the same. That reminds me, I need to look up some things about Maine.
Finished the monologue play, began to read another one from the 1960's. Still haven't found that other book I misplaced. Had a bunch of tomatoes to pick. One smashed on the way home, so, now I need to clean out the bag, probably my pants as well. It's all over my knee. The avocado did it in. I don't know why I carry random vegetables around all the time. I'm not going to eat it tonight, I coulda' left it at work.
After 4 or 5 years, I finally (almost) know one of the finnish songs by heart (not Finlandia): Minun Kultani Kaunis On, it's a joke song. I kinda' know what it's about, too. After that, I cannot remember any more suomi. I don't think I can take it again this year, though I'll ask. The instructor is good.
I have nothing weird to tell you at this time. My eye sockets are a little sore from tapping on them.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Home again
relatively early, for once. Different showcase, also quite good, though my favorite performance was by Pony World, because I'm a sucker for narrative. Didn't stay for the installation work as it wasn't for another hour and in spite of the sun still being out (6:30 pm), it had gotten quite chilly. Really wish I'd studied dance earlier in life, I know I still could and yoga would help, too. I really love dance/movement performances. I will never know why I became invisible...or why there was a (very brief) time when I wasn't. Will spend remainder of evening watching The Wedding Crashers, slightly embarrassed at how much it makes me laugh.
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