Too much stress

So stressed-out right now, feel like all of my energy is bound up in my head and my chest ready to shoot out of my mouth at any moment. Will be so glad when this week is over. Deep breathing, not helping.  Pre-emptively apologizing to people in my vicinity, and trying very hard to control myself outwardly. Did get the voice-over written and recorded, and my classmate completely understood my stress, which is a relief: she wouldn't have taken it personally, like I don't take hers personally. That's a nice place to arrive at. (But I'm still high-strung right now.  Maybe I should go sit against a big tree, or in a forest.) Have dealt with garbage, paying rent, kitchen was cleaned up, sink was repaired, old tv hauled away, lawn mowed...now the last painful phone call to get thru due to communication planets being misaligned for me last week. Need to face up to it and get it over with.

Last night in Finland/L Herlevi 2012

(Late evening, at a lake outside Helsinki, watching the sun's fire extinguish one more time, before leaving for home. July 2012.)

When I walk outside, the sun is warm, and a flock of swallows sweeps between the buildings, sensed only by their chirping, reverberating against the stone. Then. Silence.

waiting, Aug 5, 2010

Just got back from Coupeville. Missed the phone call from my father saying that he was being transferred to a different hospital off of the island. Waiting to find out exactly what that means...is it just for neurological testing or is he being permanently transferred to the other hospital? They've done every test they can at this hospital, including a 2 hour MRI of his entire spine last night, and a 1 hour brain scan this morning. Still cannot walk, and is very weak, but cognizant.

Stopped to take pictures of the sun last night while driving home from Mt. Vernon. My mom insisted that I pull over. The sun went from orange to yellow to red to hot pink.

Hardly a sunset at all, just the colored disc through the haze from the forest fires and the cooler air from the coast. Earlier my dad had mentioned spraying the weeds, which I was wandering through and pulling without gloves...oi! And he had asked for his computer, but that was before the latest info, so, will just have to wait until we hear more.

Peace