Saturday

Oh, god.  Just finally read the letter from the management company...I know, I know, I just haven't been able to deal with anything extra lately.  Totally had my head buried in the sand.  I had spoken to them about it over the phone earlier.  Anyway, the gist is that we have to have a lease signed by April 5 (less than two weeks from now) or our rent more or less doubles ($411 to $795.)  Since I'm on break from school, I think I need to drop everything else and figure this out.

After my coaching session, I wandered around the International District before going to a gallery talk.  I encountered a rude clerk in a bakery and somewhat perversely tried to get them to like me.  I don't know if it worked, but it was better than being rude back, as I've been known to do (less now though, than when I was in my 20's.)  Again, in the gallery, even just a little background of the work made me enjoy it more.  It was meaningless to me without context...very (interestingly) conceptual, in the realm of sculpture/performance, tackling the concept of time, and how you mark the passing of it in a form.  But again, I liked it more in context.  There it is again, giving your audience an entry point.

On the way home, the bus broke down, so most of us disembarked and I had been making excuses of why I wouldn't shoot the trees today, but since I was less than a mile, I did.  The walk also gave me an excuse to visit this feed store and the urban farm animals that live there: chickens, ducks, chukars, doves, and enormous rabbits.  I'd been meaning to go see the rabbits for a while now, they are bigger than a small dog.  Also entertained by the feral pigeons that seemed to be moving in. 

I don't know if there was some other event going on, but the Quad was packed.  I've never seen that many people there before.  It was crazy.  Coulda' done brisk business if you'd had the foresight to park a food truck nearby.  Hundreds of people, like you'd expect at a festival with food and music, only just there to photograph the trees.  Then walked back to the University District, and it's quiet and empty on the streets, everything contained, not spilling over into the surrounding world, but magically materializing and dematerializing from that single point.

Saturday Crowds/L Herlevi 2014

Random Gift/L Herlevi 2014

King Street Station/L Herlevi 2014

Should you settle?

I don't know what made me think of this right now, but the one thing that strikes terror in my heart is "settling." More so, someone "settling" for me because "you're nice, and you like me." Yikes. I want to be deeply loved, not merely tolerated until someone better comes along, while you're checking your phone or looking over my shoulder. (Been there, by the way. Awful. Doesn't end well.)  A friend of mine mentioned something about it recently. I don't want him to decide to like me just because...well, for any reason than at some point he can't imagine life without me. Otherwise, if not that, I'd rather stay single. Ugh. I want to feel the same way, maybe it's unrealistic. I know at some point it becomes a choice, a daily choice even. Giving the other person a chance. (I think my character might have this, too. Her last boyfriend left her for her best friend, so...there would be an issue there, she's testing him to see if he's sincere.) And being in the rehearsal space, I'm having a really hard time with this, with connecting, with figuring out an action to do. Most of the time I want him to leave, but sometimes I want to hear what he's saying (because I do like him), and other times I want to be right and win the argument of why we are not a couple, why there is no such thing as fate. Much work still needed. Have to perform them in two weeks. Yikes, again. (I freeze up, I need someone to shout out at intervals, "What do you want?" "What do you need right now?" That would help a lot.)