In flux

It's odd how it suddenly feels like autumn: the cooler breeze, people wearing jackets, leaves falling, the earlier dusks.  I feel optimistic with the approaching autumn, it's from being a kid, that this year, things will be different.  Nothing is settled yet.  That this year, I can reinvent myself.

One side of our kitchen blew a fuse (unclear why) yesterday.  The side that included the fridge.  I only noticed because the time was off on the microwave.  It got fixed at some point today, I had moved most perishable food to the other fridge, but there is a lot to dump.  It needed to be cleaned anyway, but I'm not in the mood to do it tonight.  I dumped a few jars I was willing to open, but I think I'll stop, and read.  Not sure why I'm letting all the responsibility fall on me, ditto for cleaning the house, but they can all hold out longer than I can.  I'm trying to not let all these things be an excuse to not take care of myself (had a thing at work today, too, scheduled at the same time as my foot appointment.  I didn't change either, and it went fine without my being around, which is good.)  This is unfamiliar territory for me, but healthy to try.

(I'll probably still be the one to clean the fridge, but just on my own time.  And it'd be nice to clear out old, scary stuff, rather than avoid it out of guilt, for wasting.)

Have to talk to a surgeon regarding my foot, probably won't do it (the surgery), but it would help.  They'll give me a shot when I next go in.  I just have a lot of stairs in my life, so that would need to change first.

Finally decided to respond to a friend from my past who has been throwing out hooks for years (not often, but they've been thrown.)  I never really thought he meant it; that it was just something you say, in passing.  And perhaps it is.  And perhaps it was rude for me to brush him off.  I had a good reason, though (he was married, we used to date when we were in college, meeting felt weird), it wasn't personal.  I do like him, any lingering, whatever, is long gone.  Maybe there's something good in knowing each other again.