A dry January

Signed up on facebook for the dry January group, having every intention of not drinking, but while sitting eating breakfast this morning, I remembered the pledge and then also remembered that I had drunk alcohol yesterday, January 1, at a party I went to. I think my reason for signing up was that I don't think about my alcohol consumption. It's true that I hardly ever drink (initially due to severe jaw pain when I drink, most of the time, though not always that began 10 + years ago), but I also am aware that it's a reflex to drink when I do. For instance, someone handed me a glassful of grog (?) at a party I went to, and I enjoyed it, but it completely slipped my mind that I had agreed not to drink. Today is a new day, and I haven't had a drink.

I actually tried to do this on my own a couple months back. My life was feeling out of control, not from alcohol but from debt. And I remember thinking that I felt like an addict, keeping secrets, lying to myself about my debt, being in denial about it. Also, I was thinking of blogging about it, about attempts to be sober. Then I found myself drinking 2 times that week, thoughtlessly, and other things came up and I forgot about it. I probably have a short attention span. At any rate, this is attempt two, and I signed up with other people, so as to be accountable to someone else. Works for me that way.

I thought of two other "resolutions" for the new year: 1) to write everyday; and 2) to do something artistic everyday, because these are things I say are important to me, but I don't make enough effort. Also, I have an art show next month, and haven't a clue what I'm gonna do for it. I signed up for the date a year ago with ideas in my head that fell through, so, need to come up with something new and frame it in a month. I have two decent sized walls to fill. I didn't write yesterday, and my artistic endeavour was to make Hoppin' John, which might count, as it was new to me. Tasted alright. (I always wanted to be a photographer, but am a better cook than a photographer. I'm in a rut, I know what I'm lacking, but don't know how to break through. And am taking an acting class, as I'm a better photographer than an actor, but hoping that if I can crash outta' myself there it will help me out in the rest of my life. Plus I like acting.)

Peace, Isabel

French Toast and Food Banks

Woke up with an amazing craving for french toast, which is remarkable mostly for the fact that I've never particularly liked french toast, nor do I think I've ever made it. So....had to look up the general proportions in the Joy of Cooking, scale it down to just me and went to it. I have doctor bills coming out my ears, and even with help from my parents, have begun to frequent the local food bank once a week. Last week, received a dozen smallish eggs and some bread I wanted at the time, but threw into the freezer because I haven't been into it. So bread and eggs and a splash of milk, some ground cloves, cinnamon, and vanilla, went into the pan. It was pretty good if I do say so myself. Ate four slices, fed a tiny amount of leftovers to the usual crows that stop by in the morning looking for a snack. Also received a large bag of tiny oranges which I didn't think I'd get through, but have managed to eat about 2/3's of the bag by this point. And a pound or two of grape tomatoes, I think I will dry them in the oven. A couple weeks ago received a bag of kasha for "free" because people weren't taking it. Haven't found anything interesting to do with it yet, should probably just boil some up and see how it tastes and go from there. It's my goal to learn how to cook everything I can, and make it taste good.

I also have a p-patch garden which must have 1000 leeks in it. I don't believe I ever planted them, but had let some go to seed because the bees are attracted to the flower heads and bees in a garden are a good thing. Anyway, gave some away to an old roommate that happened to be walking by when I was working in the garden and have made an amazingly good wild mushroom/leek risotto a couple of times now (I start with the thinly sliced leeks in the fat/oil, then add the rice, some salt, and begin with the broth, after a couple rounds of broth, add a splash of white wine, add the mushrooms chopped, some red pepper flakes, thyme, salt, more broth, including some of the mushroom soaking liquid, and add grated, hard cheese at the end. I use 1/2 broth 1/2 water, probably 6 cups altogether for 1 cup of rice. Probably 2-2 1/2 cups of leeks.) Also, remembered some red rice I'd bought for Christmas dinner that we hadn't ended up using, and so cooked that with 1/2 broth and 1/2 water, sauteing the leeks before adding the rice, tossing in a pinch of salt, and then when it was done, throwing in some of the chopped tiny oranges. Someone sent me a couple of ideas on facebook, but I seem to not be able to eat potatoes anymore, makes my arthritis act up, so the old standby of potato-leek soup is off the table. Too bad, always did love potatoes. Will probably donate about 1/2 the leeks to the food bank in the near future, I saw a woman last week quickly grab up the only leek in the produce box, and saw an almost $3 price tag for two (albeit, large) leeks at Trader Joe's, a not particularly expensive grocery store, so hopefully, people will want them. (They are not the prettiest leeks, but they taste fine.)

Peace, Isabel