Home again

Re-irritated by the landlord, because he did change the lock, and didn't fix the light, and the remembrance that I think he's supposed to give us 72 hours in writing to come into the house, much less change things (like locks)...and then I go look at art and a fiber artist explains her process to me and offers guidance and resources if I'd like to learn (I do.)  In another shop a painter/photographer talks to me in detail about how her work came about (and it's a new form, she created the process) and how you just have to let go of pleasing anyone else and take a risk (second time I've heard that today.)  Another photographer makes his own cameras, offers the blueprints for free, explains his process.  And a gospel choir offers the opportunity to learn how to sing like they do, sing with them (the volume is pretty amazing.)  So much generosity and a feeling of belonging in the world, washing away the stress of the earlier day.

Enough

I know I said earlier that I wished that I had more in the show, but I take that back: I'm having a hard enough time trying to find this character, that I'm glad I don't have to do another one. That was just an ego thing. There's so much going on in this scene. I hope I can pull it off, definitely more than I am now. She's complicated. I've been thinking about her for the last hour (because I'm sitting here waiting for a recycling bin delivery.) And I need to connect all of the internal life with the physical movements, and there are a lot of those. It's good. I'm glad I got this part now, but since I invited people, I want to do well by it. Someone told me yesterday that it doesn't matter what the show is, or how good it is; that the people that come are there to bear witness to the work you did.  Or something like that. I wish I could remember it better, I liked it, it was very generous. And then I have to find the other character, so that I can bring that across in one minute for the audition. One minute out of four hours, and it's all I can think about. One minute. I dreamt about the audition last night. Dreamt that there were only two auditors...it won't really be either of them.