Random animal stories

At a party earlier this evening, someone told me to step back, that a spider had run out and stopped between my shoes.  I did, and a large spider sat there, everyone looking down at it, someone calling it a Hobo spider.  I don't know what it was, but it held its ground when I tried to get it to run off before someone stepped on it.  (And it seems that Hobo spiders are very difficult to tell apart from similar spiders without a microscope, so who knows what it was?)

A friend told me a story about finding an possum in his bed, and originally thinking it was his cat, actually petting it to get it to settle down, apparently, it was trying to burrow, and calling it by the cat's name until he saw his cat staring back up at him from the floor.  Seeing the cat, he threw back the covers, scaring both himself and the possum.  The latter crawled under the bed, hissing, and refusing to be lured, coerced, or forced out of the room, and since he couldn't get it to leave, my friend went and slept on the couch, leaving the patio door open.  By morning it was gone.

Another friend had mentioned waking up from a nap and finding a giant spider on the pillow.  She jumped out of bed to show her husband, and by the time she came back, it had gone.  When she was going to bed later, she looked all over for it, not wanting to be surprised again, but had no luck, until, she found it on her nightstand, hiding inside the hollow part of a ring.  She took it outside.

Spider in my hair

Walked to and from clown meeting, only three of us showed up, but we decided to try to pull something together with our group since we just had a bonding experience. We have the option of meeting with another group, and all three of us were also open to doing that. I think there needs to be a critical mass.

When I finally got back home, I looked in the bathroom mirror and realized I had a wood spider hanging off of my ear. I walked through some trees about an hour ago, wonder how long it had been on my head? I did make an involuntary scream-like sound and knock it off of me when I saw it, but then put it outside. We have another one in a kitchen cabinet. That one is getting large, it really shouldn't be in the house.

Great Blue Heron/L. Herlevi 2013

I was having my once-every-few-month's freak out this morning. I'm fine now, emotionally.

I passed a soccer match on my way home, the blowing whistle of the referee drifted and dissipated like smoke. What I want from this continued practice is connection with the audience, and that I can figure out how to improve both that and the way I exit, keeping the energy of the stage; figure out why it doesn't register now. Keep the vulnerability open-it's hard won. That's my number one reason for wanting to continue doing this work on a regular basis. I commented to the other two today that there was a point that I almost lost it in class, but George backed away from it, he must've sensed he'd hit something. I think I woulda' cried all night had he not changed the tactic. Very grateful. That said, might very well come up in Meisner. Related to what came up in singing class, and I cried for a couple of days after that.

I was panicking earlier today because I don't have enough character work done for the play. I'll have to make my best guess, there isn't alot of background info in the play itself. Need to be in agreement with scene partner regarding ages, how we met, where we are from, etc, and then write in my own backstory. I need a reason, or I'm only reacting to what she (scene partner) does, which might be a bit shallow. She's (my character) got her reasons for why the scene is taking place...I need to find them. Soon. (My mom just called, to ask me how the clown class went and to tell me she saw a picture of a protester that looked like me. I told her about the play. She laughed. I would invite her if she lived here. She also asked me how I was going to use the clown...worth considering an answer for, I didn't have one to give. Still digesting.)

Spider keeping me awake

I want to go to sleep but there is a large spider crawling up and falling down the wall near where I would put my head. Not sure where it's gotten to now, it fell again. Show tonight had enjoyable dancing, seemed a little jaded, most, not all, of the women were "teases." Only one love relationship seemed to go well, and she treated him like a dog (literally, he danced on all fours.) They all moved beautifully. And I liked that the women dancers had healthy-looking bodies. (Crud, the spider's back on the wall.) I was hungry, and while I generally enjoyed listening to the "observer" orate, I wanted it to end so I could leave (and go eat something, it had been about 10 hours since I'd eaten.) The choreographer made a comment (in answer to a question) that it had to do with the idealization of love, and how that can't turn out well (it's not real.) You have to look at the person across from you and recognize them as who they are and not what you want them to be, and figure out what type of relationship you can have based on who the two of you are together, and not on something you idealize (or something like that, it was hard to hear.) I was also irritated by how long the bus ride took, and by loud conversations (people not bothering to sit anywhere near each other, but shouting their conversations across the bus. Political opinions and health issues.) I wanted to scream, but of course, I didn't. Really low blood sugar. I've thought about taking dance classes from the company before, I think it was just too far away from where I live, so I opted not to. It's probably just one of those spiders that you can find near the bathtub drain, but it's hard to tell. At any rate, it's under my bed again, and I'm on the opposite corner, with my feet off of the floor.

Need to remember to drop off film for development tomorrow morning. Lab is only open in the morning. Next year, I'll try to be in the 14/48 festival, maybe in the fall I'll see if I can sign up for the Incubator series at Freehold, I want to direct, but not this year. I want to trust myself more before doing either of those things. Not actually sure if I should do the Meisner or if I should do a year of other stuff (auditioning, Shakespeare, improv, solo performance, camera), I see benefits of both, don't have the money nor the time to do both so have to decide. It all kinda' depends on how this summer goes. What I gain from it, what I learn, what stays with me. Meisner might be what I need, but it might not be, and it's a year where that's all I'm doing. I'll have to decide if I'll still sing in two choirs and if I can still do the Finnish lessons. It'll be another year without an outside life, but if it's the best option, I'll commit to it. Just haven't done that yet, and not ready to. Do want to keep options open for now.

I'm babbling now, still avoiding the spider. (And no, I don't intend to kill it.)