Going Feral

We haven't gone to full lock-down yet, though I wonder if people understand the whole distance thing.

The sky is cloudless, birds are singing, and all day there was the hammering and buzz of electric saws from nearby construction.

I went to try to buy quarters for laundry, but my nearest bank is closed, so no luck.  Walked to Whole Foods to buy cranberry juice, I'm not feeling better, and now there are lines.  Only 70 people in the store at the time.  At least the sun was out.  As I walked to join the line, I had a weird interaction with a driver trying to pull into the parking garage, "You go" "No, you go." "Okay, no you."  Which went on, then he screeched down into the garage.  When I finally entered the store, he approached me and apologized.

Everyone was let in one at a time, the man at the door squirted your hands with sanitizer, sorta the equivalent of entering a club and getting your hand stamped for re-entry.  Once inside, I felt a rush looking at the produce, like I'd just been let into Disneyland to run wild.

Dairy case picked over.  No tp.  I don't think there were baby wipes nor Kleenex to be had, even though there are now limits imposed.  Limits on how much product you can buy that contains elderberry: you can purchase two.

Walking back home, an abandoned field underneath the freeway was covered in blooming lawn daisies.  The cherry and plum trees are ablaze, and there are bees making their rounds.  It's a big change from last weekend.

Took off the afternoon to get some gardening, but so far haven't made it over.  Stopped by last evening, tried to help get the water turned on, but we didn't have any luck.  It's a mystery.  Turned some soil.  I want to get some peas, and maybe flowers, and lettuce in, but I've got a lot to clean up, and we have a manure delivery at the end of the month.

I walked there, and back home.  The sun was dropping in the sky and it was a glorious first evening of spring.  The white flowering trees catching the last golden light of the day.  It almost feels like summer. And I could lose track of time.

Almost.

And then Italy had over 600 deaths in the past 24 hours.  My work is on lockdown.  Most places are closed and people are out of work.  You still can't get testing, almost two weeks after the President promised "everyone can get tested."  Hospital beds are being set up in soccer fields, and parking garages.  Hospitals are enlisting the public to sew PPE for hospital workers being of a dire shortage.  And military hospital ships are being deployed to New York, Los Angeles, and possibly Seattle.

I'm feeling handwashing fatigue, and we've only just begun.  My housemates are mostly keeping to their rooms.  I'm catching up on cleaning, since I'm in here so much, and realizing how much I appreciate the amount of light I get in here when all the blinds are raised.  I never got around to showering yesterday, I was too tired by the time I got home from gardening.

I'm not quite anxious.  I feel alive and really awake.  And I wonder how much the world will change by the time summer comes?

Tired

I'm trying to finish a book: Patti Smith's "M Train."  I'm enjoying it, but slow about it: I think it must be past due by now.  It's a series of essays, related to one another, not necessarily linear, though, they could be.

Catching up on things, but there always seems to be more.  Have an acting thing at the end of the week that I'm looking forward to.  Hope to do it justice.  And more garden stuff to catch up on.  It's a lot of work, and I'm still tired.  The first phase of a work project got completed today, and someone else contacted me about a story project, so that might happen.  Several people I'm quite fond of at work are leaving soon, and we have a vote for the future of a central part of my life coming up.  Emotionally I'm drained, wavering between ache (which has been off and on for months) and defiance (why do I care? Still I find I do.)  Every day I have plans for my evenings, since there is extended light now, and every evening I just end up sleeping instead. 

These are basically two pictures of the same thing, but the light was glorious.

The Quad, April 10/L Herlevi, 2018

The light in springtime, April 10/L Herlevi, 2018

What I want most of all right now is to sleep.

Around and About

Spring has arrived.  Birds sing, the trees are in full blossom.  The heat was off in the morning, but late in the day, coming in from the coolness of the afternoon and walking back inside the door, the air felt like a fever: dry, hot, claustrophobic.

Anxiety (and a bit of anger) and things that need to be cleared up keep me awake throughout the night, most nights.  And I've been having bizarre dreams for weeks now: sad, disturbing, unfinished, vivid.

Guess I could get up and do something useful instead of stewing.

I took on a leadership role, and then suddenly had to be the one to make a major decision without gathering input (which would be my style, but time was short.)  Bunch of singing commitments coming up, (along with a longish, last minute house/pet-sitting request/favor-at the same time as everything else) and then there will be a break for a while, first time in months.  It'll be brief, but it's nice to have the breathing space.

Some photos from recent days, the ones I like best were all black and white.

The Trees Say it's Spring, March 15/L Herlevi 2018

All the Lights, March 14/L Herlevi, 2018

Stillness, March 14/L Herlevi 2018

Paper Flowers, March 14/L Herlevi 2018

In Trees, March 17/L Herlevi 2018

Now that spring has arrived

it's snowing! Big freaking flakes, dropping like a curtain. Had the strongest wind of the year earlier this week as well. It was a pretty uneventful winter, weatherwise, and now that it's no longer winter, we are getting a little bit of everything, as if Mother Nature suddenly woke up and shook out her satchel of tricks.

Well, that's that. Time to make myself move along now.  Here's a random picture of street art in Lisbon. Has absolutely nothing to do with anything in this post, I just really like it.




Lisbon-Street Angels/L.Herlevi
 

Almost warm

I think it's finally time to retire the knit cap for the season. Yesterday on the bus I noticed I was the only rider over-dressed with two jackets, and woolen scarf and my knit cap.  Today, most everyone was bare-headed, including me.  The earth is blooming in earnest around me, and the air is hovering around 50 F. It could still conceivably snow now, but I don't think it will freeze. 

Song of the week, since I've paid all of my bills, and have a couple of dollars left to my name-Simply Red from the 80's.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04zwhjRiCbo