Torrents

Rainbow, November 6/L Herlevi 2014

Looking out the window I saw a rainbow, ran out to take a picture of it, it started to rain.  Finished getting dressed and out the door, raining harder, standing water in the streets.  By the time I got off of the bus, it was torrents, wind pushing it uphill in gusts, rivers in the streets.  No where to step to avoid the standing water.  Drenched by the time I got into work.  Ever grateful for the radiator, drying off the dress, and reminding myself that aside from an earthquake or a blizzard, there are other reasons to keep an extra set of clothes at work. 

Emergency Shoes, October 31/L Herlevi 2014

The rain continued to be interspersed with bright blue sky, sunny and breezy, as if nothing had ever happened.  Wringing it all out of its system to feel better, like a massive mood swing.  We are in between things.

(I have no idea why the formatting did this.)

In a break in the weather, ran to the library and traded in one Chekhov for three others.  Wild Honey, a short play anthology, and a book called Chekhov in My Life by Lydia Avilov.  Seeing one more Chekhov-based work and then two more Beckett, and then I don't know what's going on with me...I can't keep track any more.  It's all on one calendar, except all the singing gigs.

Re-read Frankie and Johnnie during an idle spell.  Not sure if I'll keep the monologue, though I like the play.  Thinking about "driving action," not sure it's strong enough.  There are a couple other sections I might try to make a monologue out of, but they change the subject a lot.  Might look at Riches, too, since I already did a lot of character work on her.  I need something ready by class.  Trying to come up with clown ideas, too, I have some, but they are vague at the moment, need to be worked.

At any rate, trying to focus on what I can control (as our audition teacher keeps saying, but applies to life as well), and to lessen worrying about what I can't.  Easier said than done, the part that hurts is stubbornly holding onto that.  Staring at the lack and making it seem bigger than what is there.  I'm aware of the good.

Stormy

Or rather that would be Benedetti.  Much easier to read than previous translations of Stanislavski's work, so far.  Crap! I can't think of anything. And it's not just me, not showing up with something workable and that I'm committed to, is also not showing up for the other people in the class: I have to do something, it has to have a good reason for it.  It's that even though other people are giving me permission to get out of my box, and that is immensely helpful, I still have a hard time getting out of it. I feel creatively stuck (again.)

Gonna go for a walk. Super stormy out. The lights were flickering earlier and when I looked out the window it didn't look that windy, but when I went to the recycling bin, it was blowing pretty hard.  I need to go over to the library to clear up the fine. It doesn't open for another hour, and I'm waiting, listening to a french language cd. I don't seem to have the first one, that would be helpful, I imagine it covered pronunciation. I was trying to read finnish earlier as well, and realized I've forgotten most things. I can still pronounce it though. The finnish book has no english translations what-so-ever, so harder to remember. I'll have to find my notes.

I feel like there is something I'm supposed to do today, but I can't remember what it is. Barring figuring it out, I guess I'll rake leaves and write. I need to come up with something, and I should work on monologue stuff as well. And get out of the house a few times, I feel weird on weekends if I don't leave the house. Went to a music showcase to meet a friend after the catering gig (which was fun) last night.  It was on the way home. The music was good, but the vibe last night was somehow unsettling. I can't really put my finger on it, it's sorta the same way I feel about things that reminds me of the '70's...kinda' unpleasant overall to me. I enjoyed seeing my friend, but the rest was disturbing, a combination of everything. Need to shake it off. Ugh.