Tunnel vision

Feel like I'm treading water, and have been for a while.  Never seem to even know what day it is anymore.  And I feel out of touch with people, even though, I've had more "real" conversations with people in the past week than I have in a long while (ran into someone I'd had a fallen out of touch with, outside a grocery store, and we sat and talked for almost two hours, for one, but not the only).  I think I'm trying to block out all the negativity that's in the media, and flooding my inbox.

And then there's the film class, which is the highlight of my week, and one of the best decisions I've made in a while.  The genuine support for us to be successful is somewhat staggering, can't remember the last time I've had that, if ever.  (Maybe in elementary school or junior high?)  And it's practical, i.e., I asked for monologue ideas, and he sent me 20-30.  And the feedback is helpful, and said in a way I can hear it and accept it and do something about it.  Again, it's practical, so, useful.

We filmed our scenes last night.  Went better than it felt, but I didn't do enough beat work, and I should've gone with my first instincts...but, something to work on going forward.  (I enjoyed working with my scene partner.)  We are getting new scenes/partners for next week.  And I need to start reading the scripts the monologues are from, and book a head-shot session, or at least make contact.  The photographer I had been hoping to work with just stopped doing them, so I'll have to choose someone else.

The Meisner group has ended for the time being, mostly it was just the two of us showing up.  Fine with me, I was starting to have an aversion to it, which initially I put down to my usual anxiety, but since I don't feel that for the film class, maybe it was real.

Saw the show the actor gave me the discount code to, "A Winter's Tale" at Seattle Shakespeare.  All-around pretty stellar, great cast, great choreography (especially the fighting), and everyone had a solid grasp on the language.  Would recommend.  (We went out for a drink before I had to go to the Meisner group.  He seems cool, I made an ass of myself, though, nervous and talking too much.)

Woke up early to go to a "grand opening" of a Bartell's in the ID on Saturday.  Didn't get there in time (still, somehow made it out of the house before I ever seem to on a weekday.)  They were giving away gift cards to the first 200 people.  Apparently, those went really fast, one was for $500.  Heard they would be doing some other give away at 10 am, and wandered around and ate ice cream, and then had coffee, since they sell both (along with growlers of beer) at that location.  Didn't buy beer.  Chatted with other people hanging around.  Got my box of things, and left.  The wind had kicked up, blowing through a construction site, the air full of swirling bits of insulation that had ripped free.

Found myself at the waterfall park in Pioneer Square.  Have only ever been there three times.  The first was in the late 80's, I'd moved to Bellingham, but had driven back to contest a parking ticket.  I remember my father saying that it was hardly worth the gas money, and I said something about "the principle of the thing."  They almost always dropped or halved the amount if you bothered to show up.  Anyway, was just gonna walk through, but found myself mesmerized by the sound of the water crashing down.  Stood there for 20 minutes, suddenly felt emotional, and tried to stay with it, but couldn't place where it was coming from.

Walked to Occidental park, people were setting up for a block party.  Someone had left a big sign of apology of flaunting privilege, and kicking the downtrodden out, and making life harder.  While I was reading that, someone shouted to me, offering me breakfast because someone was serving breakfast to the people in Pioneer Square.  It was one of the men I had been talking to in Bartell's.  I declined, but I thought the offer was sweet.