Thursday

Venting out my frustration with shoes hurting my feet helped me to remember that in previous pairs of hiking boots, I laced them different.  So, trying that.  Feels like someone is sticking a knife in my foot, all shoes hurt now.  Hurts to be barefoot, too.  Irritated a nerve, I guess.  (Have had this problem before, though, different part of foot.)  I have time to break them in, but I want this pair to work, so that I can move on to other things.

Fingers crossed that I got into a Fringe show next month.  Tentative.  Working on a new scene, playing a 13 year-old that just found out she's pregnant.  (Loretta Lynn, "Coal Miner's Daughter.")  Had a bit of an epiphany as to her mindset when I woke up this morning.  Need to write it down before I forget.  When I read the first half of the screenplay, I'm just filled with sadness, thinking about her family, and a headstrong teenager who believes, "I know what is good for me, I know what I want, how no one else has ever felt this way before, and how I know what I'm doing.  You're old you don't understand."  Though, I wonder why her parents didn't protest more.  Her family loved her, fiercely, but didn't put up much of a barrier to her marrying Doo.  And she was wrong about what she thought she knew.  And he complains that she's not good at anything, but...yeah, man, she was basically still a child when he decided to marry her, what do you expect?

Anyway, still have a lot of work to do.   He always asks, "What is this scene about?"  And again, it's not about the obvious thing on the surface, it's not about the literal words.  What does each character want?  And how are they using the language to get it?  And why is this scene in the script, how does it serve the story?  Need to go over this more with my scene partner.  We went through it pretty fast in class.  I know where it turns, but it's not internal, yet.

Got a bunch of scripts I need to read (for monologues), plus the Fringe thing.  And yet, last night sat around and watched youtube videos about the medieval world.  Have started reading, Uta Hagen's, "A Challenge for the Actor,"  it's not the one suggested, "Respect for Acting," (which I also have), but I came across it in a used bookstore last week.  And I need to find something to wear for head shots.  And just remembered I have two singing gigs next Saturday.  Really need to keep a better calendar.

You gotta show up everyday and do the work you say you want to do.  And it's easy to make excuses not to do it.  Or think, "I'll do it later."  Later comes along, and there's always something easier to do in the moment.  What are the barriers, what are the internal conflicts that keep me from showing up?

And then, "on paper" some things don't make sense, and it should be, "move along, nothing to see here," and yet...I've stopped anyway.