Another show

Sometimes things seem meant to be.  So, the power inexplicably went out on our block around 4 pm, it came back on about an hour later, but not in the attic, where I live.  (Apparently, the breaker box is in someone's room, someone who is currently in Vegas.  It's 11 pm now, still no power.  There needs to be a back-up plan.  This was a problem in my former house as well.  The landlords build in as many rooms as they legally can (in this house, more than is legal), blocking off access to water mains and circuit breakers, so the tenants are kinda' stuck if something breaks down and the person who lives in the room is gone.)  'Nough about that, my computer is overheating so I'll write fast.

So I had reserved a ticket to a show, "Hold These Truths," by Jeanne Sakata at ACT for tonight, but I was feeling like I didn't want to go out and was going to call and cancel the ticket.  My singing/polyglot roommate was teaching my musician roommate fado music, which was sounding pretty amazing and I was enjoying listening to it, but as my power was still out by that point, I decided to go to the show after all.

It was based on the life of Gordon Hirabayashi; I wrote about him earlier in the year, after I had gone to a symposium on him.  He was a Nisei, American citizen, who refused to obey the curfew put on American citizens of Japanese descent and also refused to report for internment camp.  He was tried and convicted on both counts.  The conviction was appealed all the way to the Supreme Court, where he lost.  He was retried in 1987 and exonerated, when new evidence emerged that evidence had been suppressed during the original trial.  Even after his exoneration, he spent the last years of his life in Canada.

Anyway, the play was fantastic.  It's a one-man show.  Good-pacing, and a powerful story about principle and courage (as well as cowardice), and wrongs that were committed.  When he was interviewed both for this play, as well as for a documentary that was made in the early 90's, he was very concerned of the same thing happening to other ethnic groups.  It can so easily happen again. (You have to stay awake.  And speak up.)

During the Q & A after the show, one person said that his mother was one of the people who gave money to help fund Mr. Hirabayashi's defense.  Regular people paid for his defense with checks of $5 and $10.  There was a Japanese exchange student in the audience who had just arrived in the States today, her grandmother was living in Canada at the time of the war and her family was forced to sell everything and go back to Japan.  Another man was from a country where something similar had happened to his family, he had just flown back from Stockholm a couple of hours before the show started tonight.

It's powerful.  I pretty much cried through the whole thing.  My only regrets for the show are that it's playing a relatively small room, and for a very short run (four shows, the last of which is tomorrow), so not enough people will see it.  And I feel it's important that people come see it.  We need to remember all of our history, the noble as well as the ugly; as one of the Justices said (to the effect) in one of the other cases (there were three that went to the Supreme Court) that was not a unanimous decision, you can't fight for democracy abroad while letting it crumble at home, because then you have won nothing.

Far and away the best show I've seen this year: story, writing, acting, directing, technical...all spot on.  I've mentioned before that it's important that everyone working on a show should be on the same page as far as the story they want to tell and why...this production nailed that.  Just fantastic.

Friday-in the calm before the storm

Literally.

What I re-read between missing busses 2 and 3 last night:

Letting ourselves be seen as weak, hurt, tearful, angry, vindictive, sweet or sentimental can make us cringe.  Even though the circumstances are imaginary, being witnessed by others in ways that are so essentially private, can make us want to hide.  This is why one of the prime characteristics of actors is courage.  If you are not willing to risk looking like a fool, you will not grow as an actor.

It takes courage to push past the areas in which we are comfortable, it takes courage to go beyond easy charm or reflexive anger; to go beyond the domesticated emotions we allow ourselves to show on a daily basis; to move past our everyday persona's. 

-From Acting Under the Circumstances-Variations on a Theme of Stanislavski by Richard Brestoff 

It helps to see it's universally recognized as a struggle, that I am not alone in hitting this wall.  And Robin called actors "Athletes of the (f'ing) heart" the other night.  Yeah, I think that's true.

My mind is otherwise occupied by 80's hair bands and watching the rain hit the leaves and knock the petals off of the flowers, and wondering where the hummingbird goes when it's not here.  And I think we should have each other's backs; we, at our most divisiveness, are more alike in our struggles for survival and happiness, than we are alike to those who use us as pawns to tear each other apart.  We need each other.  Don't let them win.

Sunday, week two begins

It's tough being human. You feel like you make so much progress in changing, and then wake up to realize you've slid back down. Great respect for the courage to begin, as many times as that has to happen, to get out of the places we are stuck, that don't work, where we feel "comfortable" or resigned, but not necessarily happy. And even greater thanks for the inspiration of those who break through, those who might not have broken through but continue to try, and those who have decided to stand at the wall and acknowledge it's there.  It relates to clown, I suppose, but I was re-reading something someone wrote me on my birthday, and thinking about life trials in general, and the courage it takes sometimes to let yourself change, to let yourself be open.

As for me, in some areas I'm hitting the wall hard, and in others, I can barely make myself look at it, but I know it's there.

Go catch the bus now

Almost 90 degrees now and I have to go catch a bus to my exit interview. I hope there is air conditioning. Think my laundry might be dry now. Put it back out at 7 am, and last time I check, there were still damp spots (though my jeans had dried, go figure.) The man at the coffee shop put orange rind in my coffee ("by accident") even though I only paid for a mocha, I wanted enough to give him a tip.

Supposed to meet friends for bowling after I meet with my instructor. I'll try to remember to only eat and drink water. Been drinking alcohol a lot more than usual lately (past couple of months.) It was less than one drink a week, and now it's closer, not quite, one drink a day. I don't have any addiction issues, but don't feel the need to develop any either. I want to be able to focus on the art and not life drama. (When I was younger doing this, there was a lot of life drama, not just for me. It's a distraction.) I want to be present for myself and whomever I am working with, courageous, and to work hard. And I want to keep my sanity and groundedness throughout it all. Gotta go.

Happy Pride Day, by the way.

Bowling alley thankfully air-conditioned and less humid than outside. I realize I release the bowling ball with my hand turned palm-down, which makes it really slow. It's weird, I'll start the right way, but then flip my hand over at the last second. I was thinking I might be protecting the injured wrist, but I suspect I've done this for a while. Less than 100, but more than 70. No strikes nor spares, woulda' tried left-handed but was afraid of hitting someone by accident.