Pictures

Still trying to come up with ideas, stuck in a place of doubt, which keeps me from writing daily...which of course would help.  Met some friends at the Sculpture Park last night after work.  Previous night went to see this improv/music/spoken word even with the "Pianos in the Park."  People were encouraged to take the mic, musicians played under and with, poems turned into songs pretty much on the spot.  A few drops of rain finally began to fall after holding off all day (and the weather reports made it look like the chance was over by then.)  Then a few minutes later, deluge, and since I had a camera and wasn't wearing a waterproof jacket, I made my way home.  Drenched and shivering, but not complaining: we need the rain; the trail mostly deserted, people sheltering under the trees.  Only lasted 10-15 minutes (and apparently, did not make it as far as my garden, very dry when I eventually made it over to water.)  First picture is the sky after the rain stopped.  Next three are from the Sculpture Park.

After the Rain, August 5/L Herlevi 2015

Boats, August 6/L Herlevi 2015

Outward, August 6/L Herlevi 2015

"Echo", August 6/L Herlevi 2015

Day 15

Someone told me the time of my piece was confusing; might require a bit of a rewrite to fix, not sure if I will for this show or no, because I'm not sure how to fix it and keep the general rhythm (plus, it's memorized this way.)  The story starts 10 days in, then goes back to explain how I got there, and then moves forward 40 days.

Pictures from wandering the last few days.

Frost makes the petals fall, March 4/L Herlevi 2015

March 3/ L Herlevi 2015

Stuck in traffic, March 4/L Herlevi 2015

Shadows of trees, March 4/L Herlevi 2015

Trees, March 4/L Herlevi 2015

It is still winter, March 4/L Herlevi 2015

Saturday

The air heavy with dew when I left the house this morning, a little bit cold...summer is surely over.  Was early downtown, so went and had breakfast (a waffle), and then caught a tunnel bus to the International District.  I'm so rarely downtown now, that I sometimes feel like a tourist, an outsider...thinking that makes me wonder if I do feel at home in this city, somewhere I've lived longer than anywhere else, now.  And then I remind myself, yes, the area where I work, and where I live as well.  A fleeting feeling, reminding me of once when I was travelling and I felt like I shouldn't be there, like I was a fraud.  It didn't last, but it's a strange state of mind.  So much had gone wrong, I just wondered if I should stay, or put my tail between my legs and catch a flight home.  In the end, I stayed.  Got over the sensation of trying to hide from an all-seeing eye...deciding that if there were such a thing, I couldn't really hide from it.  Might as well let what will be, be.  I don't know what about this morning made me think that.  I'm not hiding.

Went to a walking tour of the ID from the viewpoint of Asian-American women, and their contribution to the shaping of the history of the district as well as the city.  It's a good way to learn a city.  Finally worked up the nerve to say "hi" to someone I used to know, back when I did theatre in college.  We weren't that close of friends, but I always liked her, thought she was pretty solid.  We had a good conversation, so, I'm glad I did it.  We've been crossing paths a lot in the past few months.  No need to prolong the awkwardness (Do they remember me? Should I say something? Do they hate me? - Your brain doesn't go those places?  Lucky you.)  For the record, I don't really hate anyone I know.

There was a Bruce Lee exhibit opening, http://www.wingluke.org/ and I meant to go back, but wandered around looking for a cash machine connected to a credit union (no fees), so I could go pay a bill, and then ended up checking to see what my options were on getting a pair of boots I'd lost the receipt on, fixed.  I was going to just save up the money to repair them, but recently a friend said the store should be able to look up the receipt, and they did.  Upshot, if I bring them back, they will replace them.  The soles pretty much disintegrated two months after I bought them.  I just haven't had the energy to deal with it.  While there I ended up getting a brow consultation and consequently, waxing my brows (I like my eyebrows just fine, but figured, why not?) and then getting a makeover.  (I hardly ever wear make-up, but I really like getting makeovers, go figure.)  I like it, minus the foundation...I'm kinda' fine with my skin.  So, that was my day.

Now I'm just sitting around listening to music, and emptying more boxes, which freed up space.  Feels less claustrophobic.  (Haven't found the batteries yet.)  Went to a multicultural play festival last night, it was Indian-American.  There's another reading tonight and again tomorrow.  These are staged readings, new works.  I might go again, but I also need to work on the monologue and start doing some character work with the script for the audition.  Also, had an idea for a performance piece that I'm working on fleshing out to see if there's really anything there.  So, at some point, I should write.  Need to put in the work.

Thursday

Rehearsal process was a struggle.  Hard to stay with partner when I don't have lines memorized, especially the monologues, I kept dropping out of the moment.  I need to do it in smaller chunks of text.  I realize this is what I've been wanting to do with scene work, and even if I'm frustrated by my current lack of ability, it's a huge relief to have the opportunity to work this way, to really slow it down and connect.  I've got about 1/3 memorized, still haven't come up with a task for the run-thru's on Tuesday.  I have no idea what to do.  When I was just talking to her, my emotions were all over the place and I was comfortable expressing all that, but as soon as we get into the work...boom! Just gone.  Got nothing.  Maybe I'm not remembering to breathe enough.  I don't know.  Or I'm afraid I'll "perform" bad, that the truth that I "can't act" will be discovered???  I can rationalize that that would be the point for studying this now, but rational doesn't really jive with the emotions, and they are having none of it.  Keep working.  (And let go of wanting to be "liked"...it doesn't matter in the work, you let whatever happens on stage go, when you walk off of it.)

Yesterday, while wandering around to be out in the sun, I came across this "space" in a clearing.  I don't know if it's an art project (probable) or what.  It's like a phone booth/confessional/space for contemplation/secret meeting place.  Second picture is of a tree.  The sun made the chill seem bearable, but once the sun set, I was underdressed.  It took me two hours to get home from meeting with my scene partner last night.  I eventually just caught a bus going in the general direction because I was super cold so that I could warm up a little, and then walked the rest of the way home. (In a car, it takes 10 minutes door to door.)

Secret meeting place/L. Herlevi 2013

This is a tree/L. Herlevi 2013

Saturday

There is a massive sun-dog in the sky. The sky looks as if an artist were playing at thinly stretching cotton across canvas to see what came up, a mish-mash of shapes and directions, a precursor to rain.

Went to the "Searching for Bruce Lee" tour of the International District this morning. It was part of Arts Crush festival taking place around the region for the month of October. It was a walking tour of the International District to places with some relationship to Bruce Lee, and included a history of the neighborhood as well.  Along the way there were scenes acted out, written by local playwrights and performed by local actors. It ended at a dim sum place for some food. I randomly ended up at a table of one of the actor I knew's relatives. The whole thing made me want to know more about Bruce Lee: seemed like a really decent, thoughtful, cool guy.

I was planning on reading scripts after that, but stumbled upon a Taiwanese Independence Day celebration so hung out there until it was time to go to the other play. The other play was a staged reading (a remarkably wonderful staged reading) of "The Brick and the Rose" by Lewis John Carlino and performed by Arouet. It's basically about boy who is searching for meaning and whose life is cut short by heroin, which is pretty depressing, but it was so well-performed and the writing is poetic. That was also part of Arts Crush. After that, I wandered around through places I rarely go, looking in shops and at art for general inspiration, then coming closer and closer to the reality of city life and out of the dream world of art as I neared my bus stop, with its crowds and jostling and arguments. And now I'm home.

Was invited to both a birthday party and to attend the dance performance I worked at last night, but I feel like I'm fighting off a virus, so will probably stay home and do laundry and get everything ready for tomorrow, another really long day where I have to leave the house by 8 am and won't get home again until almost 11 pm. Thinking about it makes me want to take a nap.