Thursday

Rehearsal process was a struggle.  Hard to stay with partner when I don't have lines memorized, especially the monologues, I kept dropping out of the moment.  I need to do it in smaller chunks of text.  I realize this is what I've been wanting to do with scene work, and even if I'm frustrated by my current lack of ability, it's a huge relief to have the opportunity to work this way, to really slow it down and connect.  I've got about 1/3 memorized, still haven't come up with a task for the run-thru's on Tuesday.  I have no idea what to do.  When I was just talking to her, my emotions were all over the place and I was comfortable expressing all that, but as soon as we get into the work...boom! Just gone.  Got nothing.  Maybe I'm not remembering to breathe enough.  I don't know.  Or I'm afraid I'll "perform" bad, that the truth that I "can't act" will be discovered???  I can rationalize that that would be the point for studying this now, but rational doesn't really jive with the emotions, and they are having none of it.  Keep working.  (And let go of wanting to be "liked"...it doesn't matter in the work, you let whatever happens on stage go, when you walk off of it.)

Yesterday, while wandering around to be out in the sun, I came across this "space" in a clearing.  I don't know if it's an art project (probable) or what.  It's like a phone booth/confessional/space for contemplation/secret meeting place.  Second picture is of a tree.  The sun made the chill seem bearable, but once the sun set, I was underdressed.  It took me two hours to get home from meeting with my scene partner last night.  I eventually just caught a bus going in the general direction because I was super cold so that I could warm up a little, and then walked the rest of the way home. (In a car, it takes 10 minutes door to door.)

Secret meeting place/L. Herlevi 2013

This is a tree/L. Herlevi 2013