Still no rain

My thoughts are still.  I long for it to rain, it's so dry.  I find the non-changing of weather or seasons somewhat oppressive, and it has been sunny for weeks.

There is writing I need to do, to work through, or to begin, but I haven't motivated myself enough to actually do it.  Perhaps it feels a little like betrayal, but maybe sometimes when you choose to take care of yourself, that's how it falls.  At any rate, I feel my thoughts are in a holding pattern until I begin.

On top of that, working up the nerve to call my doctor back.  She left a message to call, but then went on vacation.  I did leave a message, but haven't heard back.  I avoided the phone like the plague on Friday (she was back and supposed to call me), not ready to have any conversation, and consequently got a lot of other work done (funny, how we use distractions.)  It won't be good news (or I should say, nothing I want to hear, my desire for avoidance doesn't make something "bad"), but hopefully nothing catastrophic either: it took her a month to call me, and hopefully if it were something urgent or dire, she would've sent a letter, or called me sooner, or have said "urgent."  Still, denial is probably not really my friend.  I think it's about scheduling a surgical thing (which I don't want to do.)

Been on a kick of watching plant-related documentaries: a paleo-botany series on what our ancient ancestors used as food sources and how they prepared it, a video on how plants communicate, etc.  Just saw a recommendation for a book on plant healing ("Plant Spirit Medicine") that I want to check out.  Also, back into reading plays, out loud.  Both for the practice of cold reading (which I need to work on) and in my quest for good monologues.  Been finding a lot of good roles for middle-aged women (over 35.)  They are out there.  Lots of good writing.

Oh! That plant book is actually available at the library.  Cool.