Sunday

Was gifted with a haircut yesterday, which I needed.  She cut a good foot of hair off, maybe more.  This is the shortest it's been since I cut out a really bad perm when I was in college.  (And for the record, I was ever hopeful I would suddenly be beautiful, but processing and my hair don't mix.  Thankfully, I finally learned my lesson at that point and stopped.)  It looks good, but I don't feel feminine, I identify that with long hair on me (and only on me, not judging anyone else on those standards.)  How do I redefine it, then, when I can no longer hide behind appearances?  And on another level, it's also liberating, to be seen for whatever I am, beyond that.

Walking in the grocery store this morning, to pick up some bread, I made the briefest of eye contact with a man.  Someone I used to know.  A long time ago.  You walking out, me walking in.  Took a moment to register.  Time wears us, changes us.  If there ever was a nemesis in my life, that'd be you; not a lover, not even a friend, just two people thrown together by fate, with extreme clashing of personalities.  Cruelty and insanity.  I would've been happy to never cross paths again.  You looked good.  So did I.  The best one could hope for.  For a while there, at the time, I was treading in the "bat shit crazy" territory, and you were cruel.  I don't blame you, I coulda' walked away.  By the time circumstances caused us to part, I had regained my mind.  Why you today?  "Happy Valentine's Day!" says the Universe, laughing.

A yellow light warmed the air just before nightfall, an otherwise dark and gloomy day.  Stopped by the garden on the way home from an urban hike.  Artichoke has happily recovered, and the collards are healthy looking.  Basically, trees at this point, about 3-4 years old, have not been able to remove them, the stems have become so thick and woody, the pruners wouldn't cut through them last year, and I didn't have an axe.  Have a patch of cilantro (that seems to have "girded it's loins"...something sorta' sturdy about it, against what weather, I'm not sure.  Been a mild winter, so much so, that nature seems to have decided that spring is here and has set out in blooms.)  And some beets are lingering, but most of the seeds I planted at the end of the growing season have failed to germinate.  Lots of bare soil.

And I don't hate Valentine's Day, but I still have a playlist of anti-love songs playing through my head. (The main one being "Valentine's Day is Over," by Billy Bragg.)

Happy Valentine's Day!