Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Lately

It's feast or famine with my library holds: four at once, including one I wanted to read for the Bingo thing.  On Monday, the  morning was socked in with a dry fog.  In the evening, three hours of singing rehearsal, Oma Maa is sounding good, and we have our first gig of other music this weekend.

Been walking a lot to make up for being immobile for three months.  The trees are glorious, I missed half the summer.  The air is suddenly chilled in the morning.  Everything changing.

Can't find my camera, not a lot of places it could've gotten to, but still, it eludes me.

Saturday morning.  Empty.  A few hardy souls line up in their winter jackets, waiting for the car tabs place to open.  I'm looking for a cash machine.  Later, two hours at the Farmer's Market, talking to people.  Cooking, cleaning out the cabinet, post-ant situation, although, there were still some around.

Digging through 14 boxes to find one small box I offered to give away, and when I was at the point of aching until I wanted to scream, and couldn't stand to be home anymore, I got up and went to a party where I wouldn't really know anyone, but the possible social awkwardness seemed a better option than being alone with my thoughts for the evening.  I was late, but the musicians were still playing, and ended up being people I liked, and everyone was nice; no cliques. Two hours later, I walked home, and I was fine again.  The rain had passed, leaving the pavement wet, but the clouds scuttled across a rising moon, now you see it, now you don't.  It wasn't too late, and if felt good to be able to walk.

On Sunday, a detour home through the ravine, for more nature time.  And then later, having been lazing around the house for hours, watching youtube videos, a walk out to Aurora to donate some old clothes in a drop box, and then continuing around the lake, even though the light was quickly fading.  A glorious evening, Jane's Addiction's "Summertime Rolls" playing in my head the whole time I walked, even though it is no longer summer.  Briefly stopped by the spider metropolis to give myself the heebie-jeebies, but they were down in numbers, and perhaps it was too early for them to be cruising around much.  I continued home, my favorite time of day, post-sunset, pre-fully darkened sky.  Dark enough to not really see the ground, a few of the brighter stars visible, but dreamy all the same.

Insomnia.  Feeling like someone is sticking a knife in my chest, which is hopefully just a hormonal thing, my doctor didn't seem overly concerned, though I did go get a mammogram, which are always fun, if thankfully, brief.  (And I tell myself that if it were a heart attack, I'd probably already be dead, been going on for a while.  It's how I calm myself when I wake up with it in the middle of the night.)  Walking back along rarely traveled paths (for me), enjoying a brief stint of shake-up to my morning routine: boats gleam on the water, piles of small stones in regular intervals on the sidewalk, oak trees with leaves in green, gold, orange, red, and black: magnificent.  A chill in the air, and the sky thickening with clouds, but no rain, yet.  Walking northward, until a bus shows up to get me to work.

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