Just shy of 6 am

It's Monday, the robin has been singing for a couple of hours now, but the traffic is increasing and it's getting harder to hear. There's a damp coolness from the rain in the air coming thru the open window. I need to buckle down and figure out how I'm gonna get all this work done this week, perhaps I need to use vacation time. The video project is a lot of work, especially since none of us have any experience, I don't have a clue how or where we do the editing. It replaces the speaking exam, but those were pretty simple and painless by comparison, walk in a room, attempt to converse for 5-10 minutes...done.

I like who I am when I'm with the other one, partially it's because the really early awkwardness is gone, and since once we were housemates (I've almost always lived in shared housing, I've had a lot of housemates), he already knows what I'm like when my guards are down, so I don't have to keep them up. I liked who I became when I was around the crush too, which might have something to do with why I imagine I like him. I'm still trying to separate all of that out, but I like him as a person as well.

Time to get on with the day. Darn, I just lost access to the bathroom.

Just tried to spray this perfume sample onto a kleenex so I could sniff it, but missed and hit my arm with a blast. It left an odd scent once I tried to wash it off, not entirely pleasant. For the past couple of days I keep having sparrows fly over to me as if they want something, or want attention. It's odd, but interesting.

St. Patrick's Day

Read two books and now need to finish a third as it's due date is just about here.  Slept too much, trying to keep myself occupied to not let this overwhelming feeling of disappointment engulf me as has been threatening for days now. It's just part of life, though saying that doesn't make me feel any better. Been reading other people's blogs for about an hour now. It's 6:30 in the morning, maybe I should get up and exercise? Cook. Do my taxes. De-clutter. Too early for laundry. Write. Put film in a camera. Find camera?  I know I'm an idiot, but closing myself off would be worse (for me.)

Got up, made nettle tea, then made risotto with the nettles and some of the tea (and those baby leeky things that I pulled from the garden yesterday). I had some broth I needed to use up. Turned out better than last time, used a different cooking vessel, higher sides. Miss the cheese, but was edible. Cracked open the window so I could listen to the robins sing their pre-dawn songs, once the sun had risen above the mountains, I could hear the other birds singing as well. I really enjoy cooking in the morning when no one else is awake, but if I do it on weekdays, I always end up being late for work. I'm easily side-tracked.

Wow, the asthma prescription was $144 even with health insurance! So, I can't fill it.  So sick of coughing and reinjuring my throat.