Later, that same day

The sadness lingers through the morning. I hope the sun shows its face, it would help. Went to see if my favorite barista was working, bought a day-old bagel, toasted. He was there, also subdued, I think someone had just told him something sad.

My speed-dating with arts groups ended up with a couple follow-ups regarding shows tomorrow, both of them free, early, and with people I know involved in them. I never did get my lottery event, but it's a busy month, so I suppose that's okay. There are a couple of pay-what-can nights for shows I want to see, so might do that. Ooh, no the site was down: I won opera tickets. Cool.

I wore a dress because I thought I'd be short on time between jobs (need to dress nice for the catering gig), but the latter changed the call time, so I actually do have time to go home first. I'm cold, but doesn't hurt to dress up for work:) Although the slip I love and bought specifically for this is a couple of inches too long...had to improvise. I'm meeting a classmate for chair exercises in between the two (jobs), but that's only a half hour.

Went to pay a bill during lunch, missed the fast bus back to work (and people were really driving like idiots on that route, there was the potential for multiple accidents on the way there, mostly people trying to make left-turns without really being able to see, and others trying to get into a drive-thru lane, but blocking traffic to do that.) Had to catch the scenic route, which, since the fog had burned off by then, was gorgeous: the golden trees, blue sky, view of the mountains out for the first time in days, and now with snow on them. Napped for a bunch of that, too, didn't realize I was tired. It's a long route. My lunch break was long, but I forgot to take one yesterday, so I guess it washes out.

Told the truth to random acquaintances to get it off of my chest. They won't retell it, and it was burning a hole in my mouth. Blindsided.

The sky is full of stars tonight, more visible than usual, even with the city lights. On the flight to London, we watched the clouds billow up like secret castles, and later, the colors that flashed on the horizon at the edge of the darkness. Stars out to forever. You were the first person I could share that with. When you thought I was sleeping, you leaned over and shut the blind.

Monday

Eek! I can't actually sign the dotted line, as it were, until tomorrow, but yeah...gonna be broke this year assuming nothing changes income-wise. Time to get friendly with the slow-cooker.

The sun has finally burned through the fog, can actually justify the dress I wore today.  I need to wash everything else, and it's supposed to be hot out all week, 90 degrees on Wednesday.

Sat out in the sun, helicopters buzzing back and forth across the sky, the sun warming the stone and brick, and dozed off while trying to read a book. Got a little sun on my face, but not much reading done. Should go pick tomatoes after work, I don't feel like it, but maybe I will anyway.

A friend handed me $20 to help pay for a ticket to a show she thinks I would enjoy, We Won't Pay, We Won't Pay, at the Intiman (http://www.intiman.org/.) It closes this weekend. Tickets are $36.50, they don't have discounted, day-of tickets. I wonder how long I can make my groceries last without spending money? Need to really get back in the habit, if I make it a contest with myself, maybe I won't rebel against it so much. I don't actually take well to telling myself what to do:)

One of my friends that saw our show on Friday, just told me she enjoyed it.

I might be wrong about the rush tickets, should verify that.

Morning walk

wire fence between us
sun rising greeting morning
shadows slap my eyes

I can hear my sister's bird outside my window, but do not see it when I look. (There is a type of bird that reminds me of her.  I often encounter them outside where I work.)  Got all the collective writing done last night and shared it with my scene partner, now need to do the individual stuff.

My insomnia seems to have switched to the 4 am hour, is that progress? (There aren't any radio shows I like at 4 am.) Oh, adding to the list: I now need new jeans, as well. (or if not new, a pair without holes.) On a side note, I remember doing everything I could think of to wear-in my first pair of Levi's 501s shrink-to-fits. I think they started to fade at about 6 months to a year (I've only had these for about 6 months). I wore them for 7(!) years, in the end they were cut-offs, and had paint stains from theatre, but they lasted a long, long time.

Not ready

Oh, crud, the CT scan is today. I'd been thinking it was next week. Not really ready to know anything, feeling off-center with as much as has been going on.

It's been gorgeous out both yesterday and today. The sky was clear and the stars were out in force when I walked home last night, and the ground was frozen when I got up.  Just when you think winter is over...it's been a pretty non-eventful winter in this corner of the country (not to tempt fate.) The cherry and plum trees are either already blooming or preparing themselves for their moment. The transition from a hard lifeless twig to the softness of leaves and flowers always intrigues me.