Sunday, maybe onto something

Waiting to hear back from someone regarding a "buy nothing" group offering.  Finally got around to posting some items yesterday.  No one took me up on the books, but the other two items were claimed.  Came across more leaky batteries in a box...I really need to keep up on these things.  Guess I'll bag the box and contents and get rid of them.

Itching to get to the park, to be outside.  It's my perfect (late summer) day.  Bright sunny, some clouds (not many), slight breeze, temperature somewhere in the 70's, so a break from all the 90's.  People relaxed.  The smell of cut grass (from the one yard that still has some.)

After talking to my housemate regarding the thing I'm trying to write, went ahead and went all out in a diatribe, she commented I might as well go there and then I can edit it later (or at least get it out of my system.)  Tried to figure out who exactly it is I think I'm writing for that I need to censor myself.  Why so much self-censorship?  I don't want to use a diatribe, but why am I not letting myself say it, even under the conditions where no one else will see it?  Timidity.  And Fear.  Anyway, by the time I got around to writing, it'd lost steam.  With the second free-write I hit upon a useful line of thought.  I might run with that on a third, or go with something else; I have it, so I can always come back to it.  Taking a short break...came home to check email, and to work on the monologue.  Fingers crossed that I will have a head shot in time, a friend shot some of me yesterday, but I haven't seen them yet.  Trying to make myself ask for things.  Trying to risk "no."

Had a surprising change of heart about someone yesterday.  Out of the blue.  We'd had a falling out several years ago.  Saw that person today, probably could've talked to them if I'd had the guts...certainly wanted to, but the intimidation factor is the stronger of the two at the moment.  I think they are open, I was the one pushing back.  (I'd felt like I'd been thrown under the bus on a project we worked on, and I was kinda' done with it.  Wasn't sure I could trust them anymore.  The change of heart in part, is that I decided I will try.)

Back to the work.