Somewhere along the line, I must've become an optimist. Spent almost two hours visiting at a house last night, towards the end of it the woman mentions that she's pretty sure they are going to ask someone else to move in. Guess she liked me as a human being? It was a nice place, apparently not the right one. Went out and saw another place today, better location bus wise. Got my fingers crossed: though I don't see wherever I end up right now as being super long term. Just a feeling I have. But I hope they let me move in. He's meeting people today and tomorrow and then the people he thinks would be a good fit have to be vetted through the landlord...might take a while.
Freaking out a little, but also feel really good this afternoon. I took the day off and it's a super pleasant feeling to be free on a Friday afternoon. The sun is warm, the breeze is cool, the sky is blue with massive white clouds pushing across. The smaller things in my life are working better than smoothly, and I'm grateful. Now if only I had a place to live.
Spent several hours purging documents while waiting for the oven's self-cleaning cycle to run: I found a shredding service. Now I'm just waiting for my scene partner to get back to me, but if he doesn't I'm going to go recycle all my old textbooks. (Again, hadn't known what to do with them, and still was carrying the idea that I was going to use them again. But I'm not.) Felt pangs of nostalgia while walking through the grocery store, which is kinda' sad as I'm only moving to a different neighborhood, it's not like I'm moving to another country. And I always end up liking wherever it is I move to because it's new to me.
I want to get rid of more stuff and I still have the records. Now that I have a reason to see him, I never do. (He would not be the person I did the do-over exercise on. If I needed to, I could speak my mind to him, but I don't need to. I just want to return the records...and possibly borrow his truck.)
Oh, good (?), no rehearsal tonight. Going to a friend's thesis concert later, I like his compositions and I need to get out of the house for a while.
The concert was great, mentioned to a friend that I needed a place to live and she said she'd ask around, which is kind. Came home and contacted more places that have just shown up. I probably just have to take something that's safe and keep looking for something ideal. I have been looking for a month.
Ciao.
Showing posts with label purging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label purging. Show all posts
Friday, April 25, 2014
Monday, March 24, 2014
Quiet
It's so quiet inside, I can hear each flower in the bouquet of daffodils open across the room. Outside, sunlight and the drone of lawnmowers. If I open the window, it will smell like summer. Forecast is for mid-60's today, rain tonight. When I visit the trees in the morning, the grounds are no worse the wear from the weekend hoards. Today's crowd is building, quieter, more contemplative, strolling and sitting, and always photographing. Me, too, but I just like being around the trees, and I suspect that's why others are there as well. It's peaceful. Even if there are crowds.
Later, at lunch, the crowds are larger, still, tamer than over the weekend. The sun comes out a little, I sit in the grass where I can hear people playing music, eating celery and reading Oscar Wilde.
Still more people after 5 pm. Just keep arriving. Subdued, but upbeat.
Still struggling with getting out of my own way.
Packed a box, think I got rid of at least 30 things. Crammed the recycling bins and garbage as much as possible...the two that moved out this week didn't actually leave that much, thankfully. Haven't made any calls. Mañana. Maybe I´ll set a timer and do that for a 1/2 hour. The enormity of things overwhelm me. It's like looking at an endless wall. I went to showcase of works in progress last night, original works (12 Minutes Max/On the Boards), I have a friend in it. I admire anyone that gets out there and produces something new. I was talking to the person I was sitting with about that, how it seems overwhelming when you look at the big picture, but that the circus workshop finally gave me an entry point to approach it. He was saying he went to a week-long clown workshop last summer and in the evening the space was free to go into and create in. And how that seemed intimidating but the workshop leader gave them prompts to work with and suggested using music as well. And so he went in and worked with that and came up with the start of something.
You just got to figure out how to start.
Have a tree picture, or two. Limited time only.
Later, at lunch, the crowds are larger, still, tamer than over the weekend. The sun comes out a little, I sit in the grass where I can hear people playing music, eating celery and reading Oscar Wilde.
Still more people after 5 pm. Just keep arriving. Subdued, but upbeat.
Still struggling with getting out of my own way.
Packed a box, think I got rid of at least 30 things. Crammed the recycling bins and garbage as much as possible...the two that moved out this week didn't actually leave that much, thankfully. Haven't made any calls. Mañana. Maybe I´ll set a timer and do that for a 1/2 hour. The enormity of things overwhelm me. It's like looking at an endless wall. I went to showcase of works in progress last night, original works (12 Minutes Max/On the Boards), I have a friend in it. I admire anyone that gets out there and produces something new. I was talking to the person I was sitting with about that, how it seems overwhelming when you look at the big picture, but that the circus workshop finally gave me an entry point to approach it. He was saying he went to a week-long clown workshop last summer and in the evening the space was free to go into and create in. And how that seemed intimidating but the workshop leader gave them prompts to work with and suggested using music as well. And so he went in and worked with that and came up with the start of something.
You just got to figure out how to start.
Have a tree picture, or two. Limited time only.
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| In the Morning/L Herlevi 2014 |
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| Early Evening/L Herlevi 2014 |
Friday, July 5, 2013
Day off
Called in to take the whole day off, had originally only asked for four hours so I could go pick up the film. Have really done nothing, except go to a coffee shop and attempt to read a little more of David Copperfield, got a couple chapters in before I had to leave as the air conditioning was turned up and I was really cold. Eyeing my books now to see which ones I'd like to part with, I'd like to go buy some fruit at the farmer's market tomorrow.
Just ran out of my room to the sound of intense sobbing. I thought something horrible had happened, but it was my housemate's daughter, and I think she's okay. I would be very concerned to hear an adult sob that hard. (I'm pretty sure both my female housemates are home.) I feel I should do something productive. Purge more stuff. At least make a run to H&M to drop of old, worn-out clothes for recycling. Been meaning to do that since January. Slowly, slowly, letting stuff go. I know I need to, it's just a matter of working up the energy to try to find something useful to do with it besides tossing it in the trash. I think it's true that you have to let go of things to allow life to flow. To allow new things to come into your life. Things are not love, no matter how much sentimentality is attached to them.
Still need to do the resume, that was my main reason for taking the day off, that and I haven't had a vacation day since Christmas, where I didn't have classwork or some other committment and am about to go into a really long over two-month stretch with no days off, since I have classes on weekends and at night. I want to pull myself out of this state of entropy before that starts up again.
Have at least managed to bag up old clothes, but not the books, nor have I made it out the door, nor looked at bus schedules.
I did get rid of the clothes, then wandered around the store because I was enjoying the music. Finally cooked the greens and the artichokes, sore hand be damned. The artichokes were wonderful. Was enjoying them so much I accidently burned the greens a bit, still edible. Pan's okay, smoother now. Should have it burned more often.
Just ran out of my room to the sound of intense sobbing. I thought something horrible had happened, but it was my housemate's daughter, and I think she's okay. I would be very concerned to hear an adult sob that hard. (I'm pretty sure both my female housemates are home.) I feel I should do something productive. Purge more stuff. At least make a run to H&M to drop of old, worn-out clothes for recycling. Been meaning to do that since January. Slowly, slowly, letting stuff go. I know I need to, it's just a matter of working up the energy to try to find something useful to do with it besides tossing it in the trash. I think it's true that you have to let go of things to allow life to flow. To allow new things to come into your life. Things are not love, no matter how much sentimentality is attached to them.
Still need to do the resume, that was my main reason for taking the day off, that and I haven't had a vacation day since Christmas, where I didn't have classwork or some other committment and am about to go into a really long over two-month stretch with no days off, since I have classes on weekends and at night. I want to pull myself out of this state of entropy before that starts up again.
Have at least managed to bag up old clothes, but not the books, nor have I made it out the door, nor looked at bus schedules.
I did get rid of the clothes, then wandered around the store because I was enjoying the music. Finally cooked the greens and the artichokes, sore hand be damned. The artichokes were wonderful. Was enjoying them so much I accidently burned the greens a bit, still edible. Pan's okay, smoother now. Should have it burned more often.
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