Sunday night

There's a cool breeze blowing through the window.  When I walked to the store at 9:30, it was already dark.  Still warm, but much cooler than yesterday, overcast, and when I'd gotten off the bus earlier, trying to rain a little.  I was wishing that would happen, but it stopped.

Walking to the bus stop after Meisner, I decided to walk a block further than usual, before turning.  There was commotion in front of me, at the door of a restaurant, some form of altercation, with two people storming off.  When I passed the entrance, a woman was saying something and I turned to look, and the people who had left, had shoved a tall, and heavy, planter in front of the door, blocking anyone else from exiting.  I walked over to try to move it, but it's heavy.  A man who works there, somehow squeezed out and tried to chase them, yelling at them for a confrontation, the woman kept asking him to stop.  By this point, two other people had turned around and joined in to help move the planter.  I don't know what happened, from the bits of conversation, and the fact that the man from the restaurant was trying to chase them, I'm guessing they also didn't pay.  At any rate, the other two managed to move the planter, and I continued on toward my bus.

Only two of us showed up.  We did a lot of warm-ups, which I don't do enough of.  Sometimes they seem frivolous in my head (they aren't), and I don't always know what to do on my own.  I asked him if he had any good vocal warm-ups, so we did those (and he gave me a name of someone.)  And then we did the "I feel," exercise, one round of chair work, and another acting exercise that I've done a lot, but for some reason, at the end of my turn, I was wondering why we do it in acting, and by the end of his turn I had my answer.  (Blind sensory experience.)

Some things I want to remember:  why do I need permission?  I feel like I'm waiting for it.  It's okay to take up space (and that means the right to be heard, the right to be on stage, the right to speak my mind, the right to have ideas, etc., not necessarily just physical space.)  It's all about connection and imagination, and I don't need approval first (and why is this an issue?)  Let myself be seen (and look at the other person.  An observation.)  Acting is being truthful, and it's important to let the guard down, the guard you mostly have to have up in everyday life.

And all of this is why regular practice is good.