well, that was unpleasant

Had the vocal chords looked at today.  My nose is still burning but the chords themselves looked fine. (I should've asked if I could see them, I'm curious.) Mystery unsolved.  He said, "no singing, no yelling, no shouting, no whispering, no chocolate, no coffee, no alcohol, no citrus, no ginger, no garlic, no onion, no tomato products...yes to a CT scan" and various other pricey appointments.  Sigh.  I hope it's just GERD or something non-scary. I have two concerts this weekend. I was already planning on not singing at one of them, I suppose I'll go to the other rehearsal tonight and try not to sing, but in the event I feel better on Sunday, I need to know the director/conductor notes for the music. Even if I feel better, I was only planning on 1/2 of the music.  No way I can sing a whole concert at this point (though admittedly high soprano is easier than alto.) Need to sew the hole in my (folk costume) shirt, too.  Did give into using the cc on Saturday.  Wow, there's a massive dark cloud in the sky now, it was sunny about 15 minutes ago-so the air conditioning has kicked in. I need a blanket.

End of a short week

Well, I think I've found the libretto.  No context whatsoever, but there are words and music.  Need to remember to bring 1 article of clothing and 1 prop. Throat feels quite swollen, went to hosptial again (yikes!) and they said that it didn't seem to be affecting my breathing and so sent me home.  Made the appointment with the ENT for this coming Monday.  I want to deal with all of these things this year, plus this one has pretty much come to a head. I suppose at least they put numbing solution in nose and throat...will be glad when it's done.  Also sent my application for the Finnish Language Institute Summer language intensive.  There are around 100 spots I think. Course and housing are covered but would need a travel grant to go.  It would be a good experience to go, and I'm getting more involved in the Finn-Am community, so would actually use the language, but not the end of the world if I don't get in. My supervised essay was weak, I freeze inside when I have the pressure to improvise suddenly. It's part of the reason I take the acting classes (also, I want to perform), but it comes up in language, and any situation where I have to improv. Not my strongest suit. (Suite?)  It's suddenly cold and windy and rainy out again, no snow, so much milder than most of the country, still I was prepared for it to be spring. Need to read the libretto. Almost gave into using the cc today, but in the end, I found a way not to.

Presidents' Day

I think there are plum trees, and hellebores and crocuses blooming now.  Got most of the homework done, but not the essay or the room descriptions, nor did I practice balancing outside. I'll post a picture of the chicken I was pet-sitting shortly, and the cat.

Managed to sing out of my belly last night.  It was nice having the accompanist (?), I have a lot to think about.  I need to find a copy of the script/score/libretto.  I don't want to watch someone else's version, so I don't want to rent the movie. Although, I did watch part of the song on youtube, but it was totally out of context.  I need to see what the location was script wise. I was just trying to find a motivation for the character based on the words, but of course, this is an acting class, so context matters.  Only 3 weeks left.  I really should have chosen a song in a higher octave, I can sing this, and I find the character interesting, and I was trying to give my throat a break, but in the end, I am a soprano, and this song could be an alto.  (I don't know how to love him-Jesus Christ Superstar.) It's also pretty old.  In the future, I think I'd like to try doing Defying Gravity  from Wicked.  Only three weeks left for both classes (I think.) Sigh. What will I do with my free weekends?

Incidentally, I don't know how the crow (Spot) knew I was home today. Sat outside cawing.  Eventually, it jumped onto the eave and looked at me through the window. I fed it some leftovers, it invited friends and suddenly I had a yard full of crows.  (And a cleaner fridge....need to put out the garbage and get to choir rehearsal now.)

Ash Wednesday

and nary a priest in sight when I walk through Red Square. I decided I will give up using credit (as in cards) for Lent. I considered coffee or sugar or chocolate, but finances would be harder and more useful. Day 1.

And not to be judgemental, but when I attempt to sing with pushing a lot of air out, I sound pretty awful...something I hope to learn to get a handle on.  We will have a pianist for next class which ups the stakes, and the desire to show up prepared so as to respect their time (as well as mine.) And the song I'm singing (or the 16 bars) is easier to figure out motivation and emotion for as a song.  When I try to think of it as text, I don't know how I would read it.  You'd think the process would be the same, and it's really not for me.  Luckily, it is a song.

Still need to plant the bulbs.  Still need to get the throat looked at.

Sleepy

sometimes the only thing to cure sleepiness is to take a nap, and I am often sleepy when that is not an option. Counting down the (very  long) hours until that is possible.

Tuesday

Feeling better and it's brighter out today.  This is my other favorite song from Valley Girl, there's a nice bluntness to it.

The Plimsouls, Everywhere at Once.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8uU1Zezxcc
Enjoy!

Monday

Voice lessons started last night. The class was fun and really liberating and brought up a bunch of issues about why it's frightening to sing in front of an audience and how to enter a room and be noticed and to invite the "audience" to be there with you.  Very cool.

At times I have been a photographer, and I've decided to do a retrospective of my work.  It will be 27 or 28 years worth, I started earlier than that, but that's about when I started to print my own stuff.  I think 2 shots per year (and some years I shot hundreds and hundreds of picture) for now, so that will involve a lot of winnowing.  They won't be chronological, but I'll be posting them here and if  I find a thread through it all, I'll try to get a show somewhere.

Day 15 without alcohol.  Had sugar in black tea to calm my stomache...whatever works, and it does for me.  I don't seem to have the "I'm sick so eating is bad" impulse, and I'm really hungry, but eating would be a bad idea. (The second time I was in Spain, the Norovirus was making the rounds through the albergues, I was suddenly sick as I was about to leave Sahagun, and I hung out in a bar until another albergue opened, and then checked in and crawled into bed.  I remember craving chorizo pretty bad.  Would not have been the wisest choice and I resisted and ate biscuits-British-and drank tea instead.) Crackers? Went to work for about 1 1/2 hours this morning, and I am grateful for sick leave. I needed to go to class, and that was at 9:30 am.  We have a test this week.

And it's interesting how love for one opens you up to so many other people. I don't mean the abstract universal love, which is always there for me, but the individual love.

I've let go of my hopes for snow in the lowlands this year, and I'm fine with that. Which reminds me, I bought some bulbs last fall that still need to be planted.

mornin'

The fridge sends out random groans like an extended belly into an otherwise silent room.

Here's a song for the day.  It's from the scene in Valley Girl where Fred is chasing Stacy around the car at the lookout point.  It may have been on the original soundtrack, but not the later one. Took me forever to figure it out, and I like it all the more for the chase.  Time to Win by Gary Myrick.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1n7P4qhroo

Happy weekend!

Note to self

the new pot gets ferociously hot quickly: keep an eye on it.  Managed to burn all the liquid out in time it took me to run downstairs to grab a towel, an onion and a look at the recipe for Egyptian lentil soup.  Next time.  At least I was able to get it clean. (And the lentils themselves didn't actually burn, at least they don't smell. I put them in the fridge to deal with later.)

The fog is dry, it irritates my lungs when I breathe, and I cough.  Reinjured the throat trying to sing last night.  What if it's permanent? Losing the ability to sing is more heartbreaking than losing the full use of my right hand, I can learn to use the left one.  I suppose I could learn to dance.  And if I lost the ability to talk, I suppose I'd learn sign language.  Writing letters is eloquent, but not immediate, and texting lacks the emotion and nuance of spoken language.  I'm being melodramatic, still it doesn't get better, and I am impatient.

Gulls/L.Herlevi

Meanwhile, the fog burns off, rising higher and higher to reveal blue sky, and the seagulls cry out from the rooftops in droves because it's lunchtime.  They are hunger with wings.