Woke up at 4 am with food poisoning. Called to say I'd be late to work at the auditions, but did actually show up. Just more-or-less avoided eating all day. Drank a lot of black tea with sugar (so, there's that) and ate a few Cheeze-its (for the salt, so there's that too.) Needed to rehearse and go to class. Just got home, someone gave me a ride, which was thoughtful. If I'd had to get off the bus, it would've been a long wait until the next one came along. I'm still sick.
The work (everyone's), overall, is strong. Specific notes tonight, important to be there. Rehearsing got me mostly off book, but I need to just keep running it. The works are explorations, so even when we have an outside audience, they might still be in-process, though he suggested we not make any major edits after next week. This the first performance in a while where I want to invite a lot of people to, I feel more solid with it than with other things I've been working on (the Meisner final showcase would be the exception, felt good about that, too.) I liked the clown piece (and everyone else's work), but I felt that I could've used more time working on it, the rules of that universe weren't quite solid for me.
Need to come up with a title.
Sleep sounds like a good idea. I've been up for almost 20 hours now.
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Day 6/7
Caught the bus home just as the sun was setting, turning the water and clouds red, and giving all the buildings a pink glow, the rest of the sky, white. Strained to catch glimpses as the bus passed between the buildings, did not get off the bus, as I briefly thought to do, all the same: glorious.
Some general thoughts about auditions, mostly for my future reference:
Some general thoughts about auditions, mostly for my future reference:
- The auditors are on your side, they want you to shine.
- Know your text backwards and forwards, be able to say it in your sleep.
- Use your whole body.
- Pay attention to your hands (something I'd noticed previously, a lot of times extraneous hand/arm gestures throw off energy that would be better focused in your words or in the rest of your body. A useful exercise is holding your hands behind your back so you can't use them. See where the energy goes. It does make a difference - though, probably don't do the actual audition that way, just be aware of where your energy is going. Be conscious of it. Make where it goes a choice.)
- Use the stage. If 100 other actors plant and deliver, you'll stand out as being one who doesn't. I had learned to plant as well, and then was asked to move in an audition...do it before you are asked. If they want you to stand still, that's an easy adjustment to make.
- I'm thinking do the strongest monologue first. In the event that it's true that people make a decision in the first 20 seconds, show your strength in those first 20 seconds. Also, if you run over and have "time" called, they saw the best part already.
- As scary as it is, run your monologues in front of an objective audience before the audition. Ask for specific feedback. Ask if the monologue leaves an impression.
- Do what you are good at.
- Contrasting work shows your range.
- Make a strong transition between pieces. If there isn't enough contrast between the pieces, or you don't pause, or somehow change your manner, it's hard to tell you're actually doing a different piece.
- Bright (primary) colors pop on a grey or black stage. Accent.
- Worth repeating: The auditors are on your side. They want you to knock it out of the park.
I successfully resisted the Cheeze-its. The coconut cream chia-pudding tasted good, but in the end was probably too rich, felt like vomiting shortly after eating it. The fountain was making a flower-petal like pattern today. Second picture is of a magnolia (?) tree.
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| Fountain, February 24/L Herlevi 2015 |
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| Tree in bloom, February 23/L Herlevi 2015 |
Sunday, February 22, 2015
Day 5
Day 5. It is hoped that one day we will decide in favor of our own well-being (physical, mental, etc.) over whatever temporary emotional fix we get from things that ultimately do us harm.
Second try on the chia-seed pudding, used a can of coconut cream I bought at Christmas to make Puerto Rican rice pudding, but never did. Maybe I should stir it again, keep the lumps out. Or next time use a wider-mouthed jar so I can stir with a whisk.
Have spent most of the weekend with my mind one step behind my body. Just got back from the store to go buy the thing I went to the store for earlier, but got distracted and came home without the first time. I have it now. Been doing that all day. Although, the distraction did involve buying groceries, which then meant I actually got around to cooking, so will actually have something I can eat tomorrow instead of sitting at work wondering where in the world I can get something to eat, all day.
In spite of that, did have a productive day, including long singing rehearsal (with voice lesson), and finally re-writing script w/stage directions and edits in (and kept it under two pages.) I need to schedule rehearsal space.
And walking home just now I thought, I would love to see the northern lights some day, but the clear night sky holds beauty enough.
Second try on the chia-seed pudding, used a can of coconut cream I bought at Christmas to make Puerto Rican rice pudding, but never did. Maybe I should stir it again, keep the lumps out. Or next time use a wider-mouthed jar so I can stir with a whisk.
Have spent most of the weekend with my mind one step behind my body. Just got back from the store to go buy the thing I went to the store for earlier, but got distracted and came home without the first time. I have it now. Been doing that all day. Although, the distraction did involve buying groceries, which then meant I actually got around to cooking, so will actually have something I can eat tomorrow instead of sitting at work wondering where in the world I can get something to eat, all day.
In spite of that, did have a productive day, including long singing rehearsal (with voice lesson), and finally re-writing script w/stage directions and edits in (and kept it under two pages.) I need to schedule rehearsal space.
And walking home just now I thought, I would love to see the northern lights some day, but the clear night sky holds beauty enough.
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Day 4
Woke up and decided to try cooking amaranth. Not a pleasant smell, had to open a window. I hope it tastes better. Bought some chia seeds as well, want to make chia-seed pudding, it's high in omega-3's. I'm still achy, some trigger yesterday, which means I'll have to cut out more. (The amaranth is not my thing, though I tried. The chia pudding is pretty good. Will try it with coconut milk next time. I used hemp milk today. Most of the recipes I found had 1:4 chia seed/liquid ratio, pinch of salt, vanilla, maple syrup or honey. You could probably skip the tiny amount of sweetener and serve it with fruit. You mix it up and let it soak in the fridge for at least an hour. Mine got a bit lumpy on the first try.)
I have garden boundaries now, and finally got rid of all the old, inherited wood. Dug out the fennel, most of it, I think. It had at least 3 feet of taproot that I pulled out. Had to use a pick ax at one point. Apologized the whole time: it was a nice plant, attracted lots of lady bugs, and made the bees happy. (Though, not so much my neighbors. And so it is gone.) My garden got finished after I left; I had to go to rehearsal.
Know what the song is. Have general blocking. I need to re-type it out, there are so many changes and notes in the script, it's hard to follow now. I had some ideas of using recorded sounds, and also some other blocking elements, but in the end, we kept it more simple. He said he liked me reading the parts I had wanted to record and speak over. Will see what the class thinks this week.
I should probably get my translations for the Finnish songs written in the music. We need them by tomorrow's rehearsal. I might sing with them in the morning, they are planning on doing a song we sang in Finland and haven't done since. The only time I was ever asked to do a solo (in Finland, not now), I agreed and was then terrified. One of the tenors ended up singing it with me. It's a good memory.
Volunteering at the General Auditions this week. I really need to start auditioning.
My knee hurts, hope it's just a gardening thing.
I have garden boundaries now, and finally got rid of all the old, inherited wood. Dug out the fennel, most of it, I think. It had at least 3 feet of taproot that I pulled out. Had to use a pick ax at one point. Apologized the whole time: it was a nice plant, attracted lots of lady bugs, and made the bees happy. (Though, not so much my neighbors. And so it is gone.) My garden got finished after I left; I had to go to rehearsal.
Know what the song is. Have general blocking. I need to re-type it out, there are so many changes and notes in the script, it's hard to follow now. I had some ideas of using recorded sounds, and also some other blocking elements, but in the end, we kept it more simple. He said he liked me reading the parts I had wanted to record and speak over. Will see what the class thinks this week.
I should probably get my translations for the Finnish songs written in the music. We need them by tomorrow's rehearsal. I might sing with them in the morning, they are planning on doing a song we sang in Finland and haven't done since. The only time I was ever asked to do a solo (in Finland, not now), I agreed and was then terrified. One of the tenors ended up singing it with me. It's a good memory.
Volunteering at the General Auditions this week. I really need to start auditioning.
My knee hurts, hope it's just a gardening thing.
Friday, February 20, 2015
Day 3
Woke up at 5:30 and tried to run my script, next thing I know, I look over and it's 7 am already. Did still manage to catch the early bus, but no breakfast, so ran over to the student grocery store to find something I could eat (there wasn't much I could.) $7 for a small tub of hummus. I passed on that and bought vegetables instead. Students get gouged at every turn (housing, tuition, food), no wonder they have so much debt when they graduate. And on another note, why do the majority of dairy alternatives need to have added sugar, and other junk, in them? If I'm cooking something with it (mash potatoes, or mac n' cheese-neither of which I do at this point, but I used to), why would I want it to be sweet? An old lingering beef. And there's way too much added sugar in our diets.
Went to a show last night, almost 3 hours, got home at almost midnight. It was set in a non-recognized Russian town, around the time of Stalin's rule, but where linear time is not a factor, and it touched on issues regarding loyalty, torture, what you will do for your own ends, but it seemed that every time it was starting to hit deeper, before it could really set into the audience, it went into comic relief (or absurdity) to let the audience out of the uncomfortable places. I found myself wishing the writer had let those things hit the audience harder. You're bringing them up, they mean something to you, they should mean something to us, but we get off the hook. Don't let us off so easily. At times it made me think of Gogol, as well as a show put on by The Satori Group last year called "Return to the Albert Joseph," (though those both went deeper and held you there unrelentingly), "1984," and Shakespeare (for the use of the comic relief). The show was "Zappoi!" by Quinn Armstrong, at the Annex Theatre. I didn't mind the comedic/absurdist aspect, just the sudden slight-of-hand use of it, as if to say, "no, I didn't just say that." Yes, you did, and that was a good thing. We tend to push these things under the table because we don't want to think about them, and yet, they still happen. It's good for us to look at it.
I'm about half memorized, I know the gist since I wrote it, but have not cut enough out. I know an overall staging element I want, but need other eyes on it. Have been running songs in my head, one after another, but haven't come up with the right tone. I want it to have an empowering aspect to it, but not overly so, which would be jarring to the rest of the piece. That'll be my evening: memorizing.
(February 22, 2015) - I guess though, my review is only what I want more of, less surface, a little more depth in life. But the reality is, so many things that might be deemed "important" are drowned out by things such as celebrity news or the latest diet trend or reality tv. On any given day, the news feeds online are filled with distractions: something about the Kardashians, something about the Duggars, what some woman wore and how hot (or not) she looked in it, disregarding anything about her personality or anything she might actually think or have done, or some actual story blown up out of proportion (OJ Simpson trial, Jody Arias trial, minute-to-minute coverage of a snowstorm that doesn't actually manifest, etc) to distract while decisions that actually affect your life get made, that you don't hear about. So, that sleight of hand is everywhere, "There is poison in the water...this just in, so and so debuts her post-baby bikini bod!" (So the drunken bear playing the violin and the stereotypical, airheaded, teenage sexpot, aren't that far off base. And yeah, it was probably supposed to be a comedy, or at least absurdist, but you bring in the interrogation element, so...?)
Went to a show last night, almost 3 hours, got home at almost midnight. It was set in a non-recognized Russian town, around the time of Stalin's rule, but where linear time is not a factor, and it touched on issues regarding loyalty, torture, what you will do for your own ends, but it seemed that every time it was starting to hit deeper, before it could really set into the audience, it went into comic relief (or absurdity) to let the audience out of the uncomfortable places. I found myself wishing the writer had let those things hit the audience harder. You're bringing them up, they mean something to you, they should mean something to us, but we get off the hook. Don't let us off so easily. At times it made me think of Gogol, as well as a show put on by The Satori Group last year called "Return to the Albert Joseph," (though those both went deeper and held you there unrelentingly), "1984," and Shakespeare (for the use of the comic relief). The show was "Zappoi!" by Quinn Armstrong, at the Annex Theatre. I didn't mind the comedic/absurdist aspect, just the sudden slight-of-hand use of it, as if to say, "no, I didn't just say that." Yes, you did, and that was a good thing. We tend to push these things under the table because we don't want to think about them, and yet, they still happen. It's good for us to look at it.
I'm about half memorized, I know the gist since I wrote it, but have not cut enough out. I know an overall staging element I want, but need other eyes on it. Have been running songs in my head, one after another, but haven't come up with the right tone. I want it to have an empowering aspect to it, but not overly so, which would be jarring to the rest of the piece. That'll be my evening: memorizing.
(February 22, 2015) - I guess though, my review is only what I want more of, less surface, a little more depth in life. But the reality is, so many things that might be deemed "important" are drowned out by things such as celebrity news or the latest diet trend or reality tv. On any given day, the news feeds online are filled with distractions: something about the Kardashians, something about the Duggars, what some woman wore and how hot (or not) she looked in it, disregarding anything about her personality or anything she might actually think or have done, or some actual story blown up out of proportion (OJ Simpson trial, Jody Arias trial, minute-to-minute coverage of a snowstorm that doesn't actually manifest, etc) to distract while decisions that actually affect your life get made, that you don't hear about. So, that sleight of hand is everywhere, "There is poison in the water...this just in, so and so debuts her post-baby bikini bod!" (So the drunken bear playing the violin and the stereotypical, airheaded, teenage sexpot, aren't that far off base. And yeah, it was probably supposed to be a comedy, or at least absurdist, but you bring in the interrogation element, so...?)
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Day 2
Day 2. Dreamt I was eating bread and cheese without thinking about it, woke up to find that wasn't true, I was probably just hungry. And I woke up late.
The thing is written, more or less. Need to cut about a paragraph out. I was almost exactly at 10 minutes last night. I can cut words for descriptions and just do those things, but it probably still needs to be a little shorter. I also want to add a song at the end, no idea what that should be, but I start with a song. A year ago, I would not have been able to do this. It felt like I needed to sing in the beginning, so I am. Also need to be off-book by Saturday.
After watching all the other work last night I am inspired. Just so full of personality and honesty and creativity. Feel lucky to be a part of this group. We are performing these in a little over two weeks. Wonder how much they will change before then? I know that's soon, but it feels odd to have something down this early. (I tend to change things right up to the end.)
This song's been running in my head all day. "Lloyd, I'm Ready to Be Heart Broken," by Camera Obscura.
http://youtu.be/9gnsWamIB4s?list=PL70DF8ADE53C610FE
The thing is written, more or less. Need to cut about a paragraph out. I was almost exactly at 10 minutes last night. I can cut words for descriptions and just do those things, but it probably still needs to be a little shorter. I also want to add a song at the end, no idea what that should be, but I start with a song. A year ago, I would not have been able to do this. It felt like I needed to sing in the beginning, so I am. Also need to be off-book by Saturday.
After watching all the other work last night I am inspired. Just so full of personality and honesty and creativity. Feel lucky to be a part of this group. We are performing these in a little over two weeks. Wonder how much they will change before then? I know that's soon, but it feels odd to have something down this early. (I tend to change things right up to the end.)
This song's been running in my head all day. "Lloyd, I'm Ready to Be Heart Broken," by Camera Obscura.
http://youtu.be/9gnsWamIB4s?list=PL70DF8ADE53C610FE
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Day 1
Day 1. I was hoping for a priest to bless my journey (inward as it may be), but there was nary a one to be found this morning. (It's Ash Wednesday, some years they have been around for the imposition of ashes.) Instead, I hear the birds sing as they dart between the branches, and the light from the rising sun touches my face, and that will be blessing enough.
As far as the draft goes: more action, less words. If I'm doing it, I don't need to say I'm doing it. (But do I need to write that direction in? Eh...trying to cut. A few sentences too long.)
I suppose I can change it still, but I haven't thought of anything else to perform. Was spending most of my free time thinking about the clown piece. Maybe if I made more time to free write, yeah.
I do know what it's about now, but I don't know if there is enough story. It's about tyrants, which I'm basically defining as voices that tell you that you have to "be good enough" first, "be perfect" before good things can be in your life...and we can never live up to the standards. We will never be true to ourselves, whatever it is we have to offer the world, if we run around trying to please, or worse yet, trying to not offend, others. For me it goes along with the comment of "first world problems." The idea that basically, if I'm not choosing to live in poverty, and giving all my income to "save" others, and saving dying babies (a worthy cause, but you know, work upstream so we're not always in crisis mode), my life is not worth anything. That message is out there. (Someone signing up donors once actually tried to tell me that if I really cared, I could go live in a car to save money so that I could find a way to help others...there is a truth in helping yourself first, not out of greed, but out of self care, so that you are also not someone who now needs help.) Often spread by people (probably not consciously, even) who are not choosing to live that way themselves. And anything bad that happens is your own fault. You weren't being good enough...never mind any other players involved, or a rigged game. If you can figure out what they want and do it, stay in the cage, the tyrants won't strike out.
Okay. So that's heavy. And that's the background of the piece, not the piece itself. It's the mindset I found myself in when the event happened, that I was being "punished" for doing something for myself. I wasn't of course, stuff happens. I carried a sense of dread with every step, until the necessities of life drowned out that fear. Most of the journey was filled with people (relentlessly) teaching me that it was enough to be alive, that my being alive was good...which is one way to break an ingrained belief. (And I guess that makes it about opposing voices.)
It lingers in the background still. Not so loud now.
As far as the draft goes: more action, less words. If I'm doing it, I don't need to say I'm doing it. (But do I need to write that direction in? Eh...trying to cut. A few sentences too long.)
I suppose I can change it still, but I haven't thought of anything else to perform. Was spending most of my free time thinking about the clown piece. Maybe if I made more time to free write, yeah.
I do know what it's about now, but I don't know if there is enough story. It's about tyrants, which I'm basically defining as voices that tell you that you have to "be good enough" first, "be perfect" before good things can be in your life...and we can never live up to the standards. We will never be true to ourselves, whatever it is we have to offer the world, if we run around trying to please, or worse yet, trying to not offend, others. For me it goes along with the comment of "first world problems." The idea that basically, if I'm not choosing to live in poverty, and giving all my income to "save" others, and saving dying babies (a worthy cause, but you know, work upstream so we're not always in crisis mode), my life is not worth anything. That message is out there. (Someone signing up donors once actually tried to tell me that if I really cared, I could go live in a car to save money so that I could find a way to help others...there is a truth in helping yourself first, not out of greed, but out of self care, so that you are also not someone who now needs help.) Often spread by people (probably not consciously, even) who are not choosing to live that way themselves. And anything bad that happens is your own fault. You weren't being good enough...never mind any other players involved, or a rigged game. If you can figure out what they want and do it, stay in the cage, the tyrants won't strike out.
Okay. So that's heavy. And that's the background of the piece, not the piece itself. It's the mindset I found myself in when the event happened, that I was being "punished" for doing something for myself. I wasn't of course, stuff happens. I carried a sense of dread with every step, until the necessities of life drowned out that fear. Most of the journey was filled with people (relentlessly) teaching me that it was enough to be alive, that my being alive was good...which is one way to break an ingrained belief. (And I guess that makes it about opposing voices.)
It lingers in the background still. Not so loud now.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Sun and happy
Woke up from a dream about rebuilding our garden (I think). At one point I was cutting up a Strawberry tree (to donate?) and an old college friend showed up and asked if he could help. (In real life, we had a falling out, and then we bumped into each other in the street a year later, went out for tea and had resolution. Haven't seen him since.) Right before I woke up, I was standing around talking to people, while gnawing through a 2x4 as if it were celery. (?)
Had the opportunity come up to work with someone I would love to work with, and had to turn it down. Seriously, nothing really going on for months, and suddenly four gigs in two weeks which conflict. A small part of me thought about backing out of the previous gigs, but they are a big deal (my solo performance and singing at Benaroya Hall for the 150th Anniversary of Sibelius' birth. That's a big stage for us. I think we are the only choir in the country that regularly performs the Finnish folk songs.) Still, you know...damn.
Had an interesting (and busy) weekend.
Hello audacity! Welcome back.
Had the opportunity come up to work with someone I would love to work with, and had to turn it down. Seriously, nothing really going on for months, and suddenly four gigs in two weeks which conflict. A small part of me thought about backing out of the previous gigs, but they are a big deal (my solo performance and singing at Benaroya Hall for the 150th Anniversary of Sibelius' birth. That's a big stage for us. I think we are the only choir in the country that regularly performs the Finnish folk songs.) Still, you know...damn.
Had an interesting (and busy) weekend.
Hello audacity! Welcome back.
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Sunday
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| Violets, Feb 12/L Herlevi 2015 |
I need to rewrite this tonight. I think I'll show up at the other space tomorrow and see if the confirmation I got was a mistake (wrong date.) I want to work it again with the rewrite before turning in the draft.
I stopped by grocery store on the way home and was excited to see they had a seed display up. A man walked over and we talked about what to grow. Bought peas and arugula. I can't plant yet because my garden is being rebuilt (it's needed that for years, and we just got a grant for maintenance.) Found this chocolate chai tea as well. I figure as long as there's no sweetener it should be okay. I'm only giving up: wheat, soy, sugar, coffee, dairy, alcohol, and solanaceaes. Been feeling physically like crap (my body hurts) for the past few days, so not so hard to give those up. The worst it's been in eight years. Not sure if it's a lingering result of the virus from last week, the stress, or food. It's scaring me enough to take better care of myself.
It was sunny and warm earlier. Now it's still clear and the stars are out. The earth seems to be rushing into spring. Here are pictures of some flowers (and one decided to put itself at the top of the post. My internet connection is spotty, so I'll leave it there.)
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| Tree in Bloom, Feb 14/L Herlevi 2015 |
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| Quince, Feb 14/L Herlevi 2015 |
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Friday the 13th
The (clown) show went well, I think. We sold around 35 tickets (which made the house look full from the stage, there are only 50 seats in all), and people laughed. It got taped, so we can watch it later, but it felt good last night. After the show, the man that runs the theatre made an announcement that we have another show in three months...okay, then. I guess that's part of the "in residency" deal. (I need to write out our piece from last night, too. How it finally went, in the event we ever do it again.)
Onto the next thing.
After Wednesday's class, I was scrambling to find rehearsal space for the long weekend, and finding I was unable to book any of it, even though it was technically available, due to people being out of the office and/or delay times...feeling stressed, when suddenly, in my Facebook feed, something called "Spacefinder" popped up. Basically, it's a listing of available rental space for artists in the city. So, I did book space in the end, in a dance studio. Fortuitous. (Have access to the sound system too, if I need it.) I'm hoping one of the other ones will come through as well, (came through booked for April 16 instead of Feb 16...Mercury isn't even retrograde...I might show up anyway) we have coaching sessions in a week, and I'd like a solid idea before then. We're performing these on March 7. Pretty soon for something that isn't yet written.
An almost free Saturday. First in a long time.
A darkish picture of my clown backstage. Laughing at the antics of a cupcake and a clown.
Onto the next thing.
After Wednesday's class, I was scrambling to find rehearsal space for the long weekend, and finding I was unable to book any of it, even though it was technically available, due to people being out of the office and/or delay times...feeling stressed, when suddenly, in my Facebook feed, something called "Spacefinder" popped up. Basically, it's a listing of available rental space for artists in the city. So, I did book space in the end, in a dance studio. Fortuitous. (Have access to the sound system too, if I need it.) I'm hoping one of the other ones will come through as well, (came through booked for April 16 instead of Feb 16...Mercury isn't even retrograde...I might show up anyway) we have coaching sessions in a week, and I'd like a solid idea before then. We're performing these on March 7. Pretty soon for something that isn't yet written.
An almost free Saturday. First in a long time.
A darkish picture of my clown backstage. Laughing at the antics of a cupcake and a clown.
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| Backstage, Clown Jam Showcase, Feb 13/L Herlevi 2015 |
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