Restless and irritable

is how the show left me feeling last night.  One of only four shows I've wanted to walk out of, in the past couple of years.  Part of this is related to seeing a lot of shows lately, you're not going to like everything, though there are usually elements in every show that I liked, including most of these.  And for the record, I didn't walk out of any of them (2 theatre, 1 dance, 1 film.)  Two of those shows just needed a really good editor, one needed a deeper grasp, and with the other, the choice of  material was bad.

I sat with friends last night, we were all a bit irritable afterward and snipping at each other.  Apologies have been made.  In general, I don't care for existentialism nor theatre of the absurd (so that's my baggage), but if it's done really, really well, I can handle it.  And since it's part of the canon of modern theatre, I'll go see it.  Part of the problem I think, in doing it here, is that France in the 1950's is not the US at any time in our lifetimes.  The theatre is about lack of meaning, and the pointlessness of it all, the giving up trying, and in general, Americans historically have a "can do," optimistic, gonna try, mindset.  So, we are not steeped in a culture of nothingness, and an end of hope.  And I'm not sure how you learn it enough to get it across.  So performing it without that background, however one would acquire it, seems like a difficult task.  I asked another friend about it today, he said the point of Beckett was how to carry on, when there is no meaning.  (In general, a lot people would end up killing themselves when they lose any sense life having meaning, so I guess being able to carry on would be good.)  I enjoyed Bill Irwin performing Beckett, but I think he's spent so much time with it that he gets it, and can communicate through it.  I also think the pieces with clown elements in them, work better than the straight acting ones.  Clown inhabits that uncertainty, loss, resigned place better.

The explanation today helped, but I'll probably never really enjoy it like I do other art forms.  I'll just go to it knowing it will push my buttons, 'cos it does really get my goat.  And although, I'm never gonna like it, I'd like to understand it better.  And take it in really small doses.

Also, somehow as a result of that show, a brief sentence from a friend, a lot of walking in the sun and thinking, and watching "Before Sunrise" (seriously good dialogue, those movies), I went into an emotional void.  Things that having been bothering me for a long, long time, suddenly don't anymore.  They just don't matter anymore.