Back into my own life

Ended up passing up an audition (second one, actually) opportunity.  It was sides, too, so if I'd had something I could've used a headshot, I would've done it.  The other thing was since my computer died, and I somehow lost the back-up, I only managed to find an old resume, in an email, that needed updating.  So, at least that's done now.  I actually prefer sides for auditioning vs. a monologue, especially for new work; it gives you a sense of the material, and it lets them see you in context of the show that's being cast.  My mom is paying for my TPS membership for the upcoming year (Christmas present), so I can see the audition listings again (I still see a few, but not many.)  Headshots are just such a big chunk of change (and women usually have the additional cost of hair and make-up, on top of the photographer cost), I mean, you can take 8 weeks of theatre or dance classes for the same amount of money which would help your actual performance (not to mention eat, pay rent); but alas, you don't get the part without jumping through the hoops, and headshots are part of that.  Pay to play.

I'll figure it out.  I took the past year off, for the most part (I did a workshop, a monologue in a performance, and the video shoot) from acting to travel, and get better (health), and pay bills.  Also, there have been a lot of singing commitments, but that's mostly over for a while.  It's in my thoughts again, I want to get back to it.

I'm trying to reorganize my living space, only got to one small corner, but it's an improvement.  I realized I've been living like I'm waiting for the next crisis and that even if I'm only here for one more day, it should still feel like a home.  It hasn't, but at least I understand why.   I've been crouched at the door ready to run out at a moment's notice for a long, long time, probably most of my life.  Time to figure out how to turn the hyper-alert setting down, and breathe.  Stay.  Live.