Saturday, because the garbage was picked up yesterday

It's Saturday.  Mostly been quarantined for the past week, officially it was Wednesday night, or was it Monday night?  I go for walks, since the parking lots at the lake have been closed, and since it's been rainy all week, the numbers of people have decreased, keeping more of a distance.  When I pass people on the paths, we give each other 6-10 feet of clearance.  I go get a cup of coffee every morning.  The grocery stores and coffee shops have marks on the floor for how far to stay apart.  I find this essential, I need the check-in with someone.

On Monday night one of my housemates went to go hunker down with his family, he wanted to go before he might have been infected, and his family wanted him home.  One of my other housemates took off for California right before quarantine there, she's a college student, and her school was cancelled for the rest of the year, she also wanted to be with her parents.

On Wednesday, I had been home too long, and felt like I was going to hurt someone (two of the housemates were banging stuff around and it was driving me nuts.)  It probably would've bothered me less had I not been inside my room all day.  Thursday morning, I read the news after I woke up, and cried for an hour, it suddenly felt very real to me.  Read a story of sanitation workers finding people dead on their beds when they entered houses to disinfect, and that's just heartbreaking.  I had to go for a walk before starting work.

I made the stew again on Thursday, realizing that my diet has been awful (almost entirely carbs) and needed to eat something healthy, but not feeling like cooking.  It's the third time I've made it.  The second time I added carrots and then peas at the end.  This time I opened a can of wine, and realized it was sangria, and not a house red, so used apple cider vinegar in place.  Forgot to add peas, but had increased the carrots to two.  It worked.  And it can just sit on the stove simmering while I do other things.  For work, I mostly take calls, answer emails, and am doing on-line classes.  This week I did coursework on navigating change, and customer service.  I also started on a module about how to ask the right questions.

I started to organize my book shelves today, but only managed to get to two, but they are dusted, and neater, I guess.  And I carried home a bag of potting soil and gardening tools, so I can start some seedlings.  I haven't done it yet, but I have some time.  We've gotten our manure delivery, but the weather has turned cold and rainy, and I still have a lot of weeding to do in my actual garden.  I keep putting it off.  Definitely a need for the produce, though.

We have ants streaming in through the kitchen window, can never figure out what suddenly drives that, they aren't really going anywhere in particular.  I should go see what they're up to now.  And eat.

We are all in this together.  Be kind.  Wash your hands.  Keep your physical distance, but reach out to someone.

Saturday

Started a post on Wednesday, still haven't finished it, I feel the weight of it, the need to finish it before starting something new.  This is in defiance of that.

Thunder storms and rain predicted, but the day dawned sunny and cold.  When the clouds lifted in the west, you could see the Olympic Mountains covered in snow.  Better late than never, I suppose.  Went out to a volunteer meeting for the Seattle International Film Festival.  Not quite sure how I want to be involved yet.  Pretty sure I will have some time free, decided not to take any acting classes this quarter, first time in over two years, just can't make the schedule work for me.  Considering a tap class, but it will depend on when they are offered, no schedule has been listed yet.  Could use it for the clown showcase though.

Last night, went to go see a band, but they ended up playing an hour later than I thought they were, so could only stay for one song.  Left to go see a friend perform up the street at another venue.  An actor whose work I like was also in that show.  Meant to tell him, we caught the same bus after, but didn't work up the nerve.  At any rate, we (everyone at the stop) had encounters with a violently, ranting man.  The bus driver threatened to call the cops if he harassed us anymore, he continued to rant, slinging derogatory words that the actor and I both thought could be directed at either of us.  Apparently, he had body checked one of the other passengers on the sidewalk, and when the bus finally pulled up, and I was walking past him, looking down and noticing all the trash strewn about (I had kept my distance while waiting, so hadn't noticed his behavior, only heard him), he hucked some at me, which grazed me in the chest.  Thankfully only a cigarette package and not glass or dog poo.  There was shattered glass all over the sidewalk, so he had been smashing bottles earlier.  The actor wished me a safe night when I got off; I wished him the same.

At lunch, I'd gone to a presentation on someone's recent "Civil Rights Pilgrimage" that had ended in Selma for the 50th Anniversary march across the bridge.  Powerful stuff.  So moved to hear again of the injustice, but also the dedication and commitment and courage of those who had stood against it for justice.  I had to lock myself in the bathroom after to decompress from it before returning to work.  I need to go visit those places. (There's an organized trip, that goes to the towns, and meets with people from the Civil Rights movement, 1950-60's.  It's sold our for next year, already.)  Meanwhile, the struggle continues.

Friday and dark

4:35 pm.  Calm no longer.

One chestnut hangs on to it's golden leaves, all the others stand bare-branched against the darkening sky.  Winds blow loudly.

Later, did chair work then went to an improv show about a Salem witch trial.  They played it out for at least 80 minuntes, with a short intermission.  They were good.  I've never seen a long improv production, they stayed in the time period, stayed in character, in the language, and the dialogue only really broke once, toward the end (when they were all trying very hard not to laugh), but it almost seemed scripted at times (it wasn't.)

Saturday.  Went to show again.  Knew that it was at 2 pm early in the day, somehow by the time I stopped off to pick up some persimmons (our garden has a persimmon tree) and got near the theatre, I thought it started at 2:30, and so was consequently late.  Confused when I walked into the theatre and there were no people around.  Someone came to the door and said it had started but that they'd go ahead and seat me, so I ended up in the balcony, which worked out: the sightlines were better.  I missed the first 10 minutes, maybe.  She was dynamically different than on Wednesday, which is nice to see.  I saw the whole section I missed, and I'm happy for that; my favorite parts ended up being when she did the character on the phone call, and the fight in the car with her mother, both of which I had missed on Wednesday.  The shows was Bo-Nita, written by Elizabeth Heffron, directed by Paul Budraitis, and acted by Hannah Mootz. Seattle Rep, closes tomorrow.

I haven't gotten any more writing/thinking on the relationship yet.  I'd like to let him know before we meet again tomorrow.  Went and bought some of the things for my task after the show got out.  It's chilly out.  I keep being surprised by that even though we are half way through November.  It was dark walking home. Still not quite full moon, sending out bright halos through the clouds.  Evidence of it's presence.

Just getting home from class

Well, went from class to wait to go to the Long Shot auction and then ran down back down into town to see a staged reading of a play in development, which for some reason didn't initially register in my head as being three-hours long. Anyway, ran into a friend there when I was leaving and she offered to drive me home. Otherwise, I would just be boarding the bus downtown now. Very moving. The story is about the plight of Cambodian refugees, but name a country, it could apply. What is it to be held indefinitely in detention when you have no country? Why do we insist on the breaking of the spirit of one another...are we not all human? We need to find another solution.

As far as class goes, the scene actually makes more sense as being played by two women. It's still going to be awkward (the kissing), but I think it would feel awkward to kiss any of my classmates. I'll survive. There was a lot of nice work in the photo exhibit, I probably coulda' submitted something. Maybe shouldn't be so hard on myself. I almost asked my friend to buy me something at 8:30 pm, when the price dropped to $25. But I had to run, and I didn't have cash on me when he arrived.

Still no good two-person trick for tomorrow. Seems to be a theme, not just for me. Perhaps I'll dream of something.

Might have a little food-poisoning.

Saturday

Woke up before 6 am then fell asleep and woke up after 7. Have a wicked headache, think it's a combination of back strain, dehydration and someone smoking in the house. Took something, waiting for it to start working. Still don't know where to go shoot today, have rehearsal at 3 pm, so can't go too far out as I need time to get there with all my prop stuff. I should probably get up and just start moving, it might help the head pain, too. Was trying to look over the digital pictures, but the program is slow this morning, so I'm waiting. Still waiting. I think it's broken. The baby crows are begging for food outside my window, they are quite loud. And I just lost the bathroom to the housemate that always leaves it dirty.

Still haven't left, but about to. Checked my phone messages, had 13, only two of which left messages, one from a survey and one from a friend. I haven't been a recluse this year, but I haven't seen this friend in over a month, and the one I went to the show with a week ago I hadn't seen in probably two months. I really like these people. I need to do what I am this year, but I've gotta' find the time to see them (and others.) There are people I've connected with this year that I want to be friends with, and I'm trying. The timing thing is hard, I want these people in my life. A lot of personal stuff has come up this year, and I want to (need to, really) face up to it, deal with it, or pursue it as the case may be. I have to learn to put myself first, I always put other people first because I thought I was supposed to, that it was selfish to do otherwise, but I totally lost me, I'm starting to get that back. I don't want to lose that, but I know friendship is a big part of what I want too, and I don't want to lose that either.

Very wet Saturday

Just made it home in between deluges. Started to dump rain again as I walked up the stairs into the house.  It was sunny, but cold, when I left. Went to the library to see if a book of plays had come in, but it hadn't, yet. I want to understand better a play I saw recently, thought it would help to read it, didn't entirely get why one of the character's speaking style changed mid-play, was wondering about the choice of that, or if it was written into the script. Also, curious if there was a symbolic meaning to it all. And then went to credit union to see if my tax return had deposited yet, nope. I need to be a bit more organized, I received a new debit card recently, but for the life of me, I can't find it now.

Ran into former housemates at the farmer's market just before the rain began. I was stopping to buy an empanada and nettles. Ducked into a church when the rain started and scrubbed down some walls. I had said I would earlier. Trying to follow through with things I'm capable of doing. People always try to get me to make phone calls as an easy thing to do, except for me, I'd rather have a camera shoved up my nose again then cold call people. I will put it off until I can't anymore. So, if you're reading this and I was supposed to call you, I'm sorry. It's totally me, not you. At any rate, I smell like ammonia now, from cleaning, so am off to wash my hair and another load of laundry.

Saturday-Free

as is often the case, I ended up randomly gardening.  Turned some soil, pulled weeds and the endless growth of the leek-garlic-who-knows-what hybrid; transplanted some self-seeding kale-things (I don't know what they are) and so am glad that it started to rain so they can get watered in. Water hasn't been turned on yet for the season.  Detoured home by way of Greenlake so I could look at the ducks.  Lots of coots, beaks and feet bleached out, a lone one running from the water to the flock across the sand and reminding me with it's lurching gate over it's massive webbed-feet of a man staggering across the desert in search of an oasis. Mallards were sleeping in the weeds, and two mergansers bathed in the company of a bufflehead couple.  There were crew races across the lake and the cormorants had collected themselves on an unused swimming dock away from the action, but alert and watching.