Saturday

Woke up before 6 am then fell asleep and woke up after 7. Have a wicked headache, think it's a combination of back strain, dehydration and someone smoking in the house. Took something, waiting for it to start working. Still don't know where to go shoot today, have rehearsal at 3 pm, so can't go too far out as I need time to get there with all my prop stuff. I should probably get up and just start moving, it might help the head pain, too. Was trying to look over the digital pictures, but the program is slow this morning, so I'm waiting. Still waiting. I think it's broken. The baby crows are begging for food outside my window, they are quite loud. And I just lost the bathroom to the housemate that always leaves it dirty.

Still haven't left, but about to. Checked my phone messages, had 13, only two of which left messages, one from a survey and one from a friend. I haven't been a recluse this year, but I haven't seen this friend in over a month, and the one I went to the show with a week ago I hadn't seen in probably two months. I really like these people. I need to do what I am this year, but I've gotta' find the time to see them (and others.) There are people I've connected with this year that I want to be friends with, and I'm trying. The timing thing is hard, I want these people in my life. A lot of personal stuff has come up this year, and I want to (need to, really) face up to it, deal with it, or pursue it as the case may be. I have to learn to put myself first, I always put other people first because I thought I was supposed to, that it was selfish to do otherwise, but I totally lost me, I'm starting to get that back. I don't want to lose that, but I know friendship is a big part of what I want too, and I don't want to lose that either.