Edgy Monday

Chaotic.  Day started out feeling that way, and even though much was resolved, never really got to feeling settled.  Always a couple steps behind, and wanting to start over, but of course, that's not how it works.  In reality, nothing all that bad as something triggered inside believed it all to be, so stress levels still through the roof, whether warranted or not.  The edginess remains.

Went to a reception for the new Drama Department Chair for the UW (bus was late, schedule was opposite of what was written, though it all worked out) trying to make myself talk to people...and in the end, being reminded that this is a good city and a good time to be making theatre.  Late for rehearsal (the other choir) but I knew the door would be open, and I needed any rehearsal I can get, so I caught that bus there anyway and went in for the last half hour.  I really can't remember any Finnish anymore, should refresh on that.  (I recognize words, and that I once knew the meaning, but that's about it.)

A gorgeous (mostly) cloudless dusk, deep blue to gold in the west.  Stars.  A rising, almost full, moon.  Odd bits of cloud lit up by it's light.  In the sky.  Looked fake (the cloud), almost, like something drawn on top of a photo for effect, a collage element.  Had to stare at it to believe it was a real thing.

All of it: the music, the words, the colors of dusk, the moon, the calmness of the air:  peaceful...and still, I'm sitting just on the edge, unable to fully let it affect me, calm my nerves.

What was, is done, and in the end, none of it really matters.  But still... ugh, can't even blame it on caffeine.