Sun

Ah, walking outside, under bright blue skies, a relief after the grey of  the past couple of days, the fresh scent of tar greets my nostrils.  Always, everywhere, construction now.  Days growing cooler, a good 20 degrees down from last week.  Fallen leaves litter the ground, crunching underfoot, the trees turning red and yellow.  How quickly the last few months have passed.

Signed up for an audition.  Good script; read it three times before responding to the call.  Wanted to see if I had it in me, I think I do.  It's pretty heavy.  Anyway, I have a couple of weeks to get it together this time.  Five minutes, 90-second monologue.  Gives me something to do for the next couple of weeks: get my monologue more solid, get in touch with this character.  It's vague, what happened, but that's good, can plug into it more.  Practice is good.  In the right age range.  I auditioned for this company last summer, one I really liked:  they're professional and they choose fantastic scripts.

My camera batteries died, and I can't locate my rechargeables, so am currently shooting film again.  No pictures for a while.

Cool.  A friend gave me a comp to a show I was wanting to see.

Art.  Rehearsal.  Writing.  Working on audition stuff.

Still feeling relatively blank.  Something to endure.  Don't rue what I didn't have the courage to do...no living in the thoughts of "what if?"

Later, walking, observing, taking in humanity in all it's glory and depravity, and then also being a part of all that and, feeling very alive.  And so staying longer than I meant, taking in tea, and conversation, and art...and consequently missing rehearsal (singing, but that doesn't excuse it), but connecting.  Stopping to gaze up at the neon lights, and the way the moon lit up the iron work and train tracks.  Finally catching the bus with a flower and an apple in my hand, both offered, and accepted.  Transferring amid the aftermath of cop cars, an ambulance, buses off the trolley lines, and someone's dinner spilled in the street.  Left to wonder, no answer given.