Wednesday

I think the rain may have temporarily stopped, it's no longer pounding on the roof.

Another audition over.  It went alright, though they gave me the same direction as last time, which was to play the emotions hotter...still something I need to work on.  Stage seems like a good place to have these, any consequences would be useful, and yet they remain at bay.  My nerves were almost fine when I went in, though I said a few lines wrong (I got them right the second time through.)  I was shaky after I left the room.

I'm getting better at shaping monologues.  Would like to work this one with a coach, though.  She's talking to a person in a coma, and in doing the monologue for the casting director, I wasn't sure where I should be looking.  Would be good to have another pair of eyes on that and offering suggestions.  Also, I need someone to call me out when my focus wanders.  Gonna try to stay with the Suzuki classes for awhile, it'll be good for that, but I still want someone watching the monologue.  I want feedback, to see if what I think I'm communicating is what is being picked up.

I met with a friend after to try to generate some performance material.  We ended up talking a lot, and doing one improv.  We're trying to come up with something for November, and also February.  It's intimidating to think about creating something out of nothing, possible, just need to keep exploring.  I think I need to start with some sorta form, a basic structure to work inside of.  Otherwise, I get stuck on too many choices, and worry too much about what the right one is rather than just starting.  (That's why I like the improvs, they have a basic outline, such as: A enters; A does something; B enters; B discovers A; A & B interact; one or both leave.)

I made a list of all the things I need to work on, and in my head there are all the things where I'm an absolute beginner.  In some ways it's more exhilarating than daunting, at least there is something concrete to do, not just a racing thought in my head.  When the parts start to come together it'll make sense, but right now it's all just random elements I need to keep track of.  If I stay with it all, it will eventually click, things will fall into place.

Oh, the rain is back.  Missed my window to leave the house and not get soaked.