Sunday

We bury our meaning under a mountain of words, and then spend the rest of the time trying to get back to the truth.

In auditioning class, the fear of performing for others rears its head, though I guess we all are in the same boat to some extent.  Forced myself to do mine a second time for feedback.  Did not back out even though I wanted to, the whole point being to get better, and if you don't risk anything, nothing changes.  I'm understanding the meaning of "driving action," what is the line going through the whole monologue?  Why do you say what you say, to whom you say it to, right now?  I ended my working session early, as I've got a lot of work to do, starting with the internal stuff, and I wasn't going to hit it today, but I do have a sense now of where I'm going.  Think I need to do the classical monologue next time, it will need more work, since I've never studied Shakespeare.

Interesting coincidence in class, the man who went up before me happened to be using the monologue that my character is referring to when I speak.  I asked him about it later, if he'd gotten the part, he said that it wasn't from the audition (the one I just did), but rather that he'd found it online.  Still, what were the odds of him doing the monologue I'm responding to right before me?  Sadly, I'm not sure I let it help me much.

The instructor gave the note (to someone else) to forget all the "beats" and strong acting choices you made and just follow the driving action.  Make the audience forget that they are "watching" a show, and have them believe in the story.  Whomever the audience is, it's the first time they are hearing it, regardless of how many times you've told it: invite them in.

Much to consider.  Know what I'm after, not sure how to get there.

Guess I should watch "Hedda Gabler" now...nice light-hearted evening.

I'm cold from waiting for the bus.  It's been warm for so long, I'm in denial that there is a winter, and it lies before me.