Woke up at 4 am with food poisoning. Called to say I'd be late to work at the auditions, but did actually show up. Just more-or-less avoided eating all day. Drank a lot of black tea with sugar (so, there's that) and ate a few Cheeze-its (for the salt, so there's that too.) Needed to rehearse and go to class. Just got home, someone gave me a ride, which was thoughtful. If I'd had to get off the bus, it would've been a long wait until the next one came along. I'm still sick.
The work (everyone's), overall, is strong. Specific notes tonight, important to be there. Rehearsing got me mostly off book, but I need to just keep running it. The works are explorations, so even when we have an outside audience, they might still be in-process, though he suggested we not make any major edits after next week. This the first performance in a while where I want to invite a lot of people to, I feel more solid with it than with other things I've been working on (the Meisner final showcase would be the exception, felt good about that, too.) I liked the clown piece (and everyone else's work), but I felt that I could've used more time working on it, the rules of that universe weren't quite solid for me.
Need to come up with a title.
Sleep sounds like a good idea. I've been up for almost 20 hours now.
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Day 6/7
Caught the bus home just as the sun was setting, turning the water and clouds red, and giving all the buildings a pink glow, the rest of the sky, white. Strained to catch glimpses as the bus passed between the buildings, did not get off the bus, as I briefly thought to do, all the same: glorious.
Some general thoughts about auditions, mostly for my future reference:
Some general thoughts about auditions, mostly for my future reference:
- The auditors are on your side, they want you to shine.
- Know your text backwards and forwards, be able to say it in your sleep.
- Use your whole body.
- Pay attention to your hands (something I'd noticed previously, a lot of times extraneous hand/arm gestures throw off energy that would be better focused in your words or in the rest of your body. A useful exercise is holding your hands behind your back so you can't use them. See where the energy goes. It does make a difference - though, probably don't do the actual audition that way, just be aware of where your energy is going. Be conscious of it. Make where it goes a choice.)
- Use the stage. If 100 other actors plant and deliver, you'll stand out as being one who doesn't. I had learned to plant as well, and then was asked to move in an audition...do it before you are asked. If they want you to stand still, that's an easy adjustment to make.
- I'm thinking do the strongest monologue first. In the event that it's true that people make a decision in the first 20 seconds, show your strength in those first 20 seconds. Also, if you run over and have "time" called, they saw the best part already.
- As scary as it is, run your monologues in front of an objective audience before the audition. Ask for specific feedback. Ask if the monologue leaves an impression.
- Do what you are good at.
- Contrasting work shows your range.
- Make a strong transition between pieces. If there isn't enough contrast between the pieces, or you don't pause, or somehow change your manner, it's hard to tell you're actually doing a different piece.
- Bright (primary) colors pop on a grey or black stage. Accent.
- Worth repeating: The auditors are on your side. They want you to knock it out of the park.
I successfully resisted the Cheeze-its. The coconut cream chia-pudding tasted good, but in the end was probably too rich, felt like vomiting shortly after eating it. The fountain was making a flower-petal like pattern today. Second picture is of a magnolia (?) tree.
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| Fountain, February 24/L Herlevi 2015 |
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| Tree in bloom, February 23/L Herlevi 2015 |
Sunday, February 22, 2015
Day 5
Day 5. It is hoped that one day we will decide in favor of our own well-being (physical, mental, etc.) over whatever temporary emotional fix we get from things that ultimately do us harm.
Second try on the chia-seed pudding, used a can of coconut cream I bought at Christmas to make Puerto Rican rice pudding, but never did. Maybe I should stir it again, keep the lumps out. Or next time use a wider-mouthed jar so I can stir with a whisk.
Have spent most of the weekend with my mind one step behind my body. Just got back from the store to go buy the thing I went to the store for earlier, but got distracted and came home without the first time. I have it now. Been doing that all day. Although, the distraction did involve buying groceries, which then meant I actually got around to cooking, so will actually have something I can eat tomorrow instead of sitting at work wondering where in the world I can get something to eat, all day.
In spite of that, did have a productive day, including long singing rehearsal (with voice lesson), and finally re-writing script w/stage directions and edits in (and kept it under two pages.) I need to schedule rehearsal space.
And walking home just now I thought, I would love to see the northern lights some day, but the clear night sky holds beauty enough.
Second try on the chia-seed pudding, used a can of coconut cream I bought at Christmas to make Puerto Rican rice pudding, but never did. Maybe I should stir it again, keep the lumps out. Or next time use a wider-mouthed jar so I can stir with a whisk.
Have spent most of the weekend with my mind one step behind my body. Just got back from the store to go buy the thing I went to the store for earlier, but got distracted and came home without the first time. I have it now. Been doing that all day. Although, the distraction did involve buying groceries, which then meant I actually got around to cooking, so will actually have something I can eat tomorrow instead of sitting at work wondering where in the world I can get something to eat, all day.
In spite of that, did have a productive day, including long singing rehearsal (with voice lesson), and finally re-writing script w/stage directions and edits in (and kept it under two pages.) I need to schedule rehearsal space.
And walking home just now I thought, I would love to see the northern lights some day, but the clear night sky holds beauty enough.
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Day 4
Woke up and decided to try cooking amaranth. Not a pleasant smell, had to open a window. I hope it tastes better. Bought some chia seeds as well, want to make chia-seed pudding, it's high in omega-3's. I'm still achy, some trigger yesterday, which means I'll have to cut out more. (The amaranth is not my thing, though I tried. The chia pudding is pretty good. Will try it with coconut milk next time. I used hemp milk today. Most of the recipes I found had 1:4 chia seed/liquid ratio, pinch of salt, vanilla, maple syrup or honey. You could probably skip the tiny amount of sweetener and serve it with fruit. You mix it up and let it soak in the fridge for at least an hour. Mine got a bit lumpy on the first try.)
I have garden boundaries now, and finally got rid of all the old, inherited wood. Dug out the fennel, most of it, I think. It had at least 3 feet of taproot that I pulled out. Had to use a pick ax at one point. Apologized the whole time: it was a nice plant, attracted lots of lady bugs, and made the bees happy. (Though, not so much my neighbors. And so it is gone.) My garden got finished after I left; I had to go to rehearsal.
Know what the song is. Have general blocking. I need to re-type it out, there are so many changes and notes in the script, it's hard to follow now. I had some ideas of using recorded sounds, and also some other blocking elements, but in the end, we kept it more simple. He said he liked me reading the parts I had wanted to record and speak over. Will see what the class thinks this week.
I should probably get my translations for the Finnish songs written in the music. We need them by tomorrow's rehearsal. I might sing with them in the morning, they are planning on doing a song we sang in Finland and haven't done since. The only time I was ever asked to do a solo (in Finland, not now), I agreed and was then terrified. One of the tenors ended up singing it with me. It's a good memory.
Volunteering at the General Auditions this week. I really need to start auditioning.
My knee hurts, hope it's just a gardening thing.
I have garden boundaries now, and finally got rid of all the old, inherited wood. Dug out the fennel, most of it, I think. It had at least 3 feet of taproot that I pulled out. Had to use a pick ax at one point. Apologized the whole time: it was a nice plant, attracted lots of lady bugs, and made the bees happy. (Though, not so much my neighbors. And so it is gone.) My garden got finished after I left; I had to go to rehearsal.
Know what the song is. Have general blocking. I need to re-type it out, there are so many changes and notes in the script, it's hard to follow now. I had some ideas of using recorded sounds, and also some other blocking elements, but in the end, we kept it more simple. He said he liked me reading the parts I had wanted to record and speak over. Will see what the class thinks this week.
I should probably get my translations for the Finnish songs written in the music. We need them by tomorrow's rehearsal. I might sing with them in the morning, they are planning on doing a song we sang in Finland and haven't done since. The only time I was ever asked to do a solo (in Finland, not now), I agreed and was then terrified. One of the tenors ended up singing it with me. It's a good memory.
Volunteering at the General Auditions this week. I really need to start auditioning.
My knee hurts, hope it's just a gardening thing.
Friday, February 20, 2015
Day 3
Woke up at 5:30 and tried to run my script, next thing I know, I look over and it's 7 am already. Did still manage to catch the early bus, but no breakfast, so ran over to the student grocery store to find something I could eat (there wasn't much I could.) $7 for a small tub of hummus. I passed on that and bought vegetables instead. Students get gouged at every turn (housing, tuition, food), no wonder they have so much debt when they graduate. And on another note, why do the majority of dairy alternatives need to have added sugar, and other junk, in them? If I'm cooking something with it (mash potatoes, or mac n' cheese-neither of which I do at this point, but I used to), why would I want it to be sweet? An old lingering beef. And there's way too much added sugar in our diets.
Went to a show last night, almost 3 hours, got home at almost midnight. It was set in a non-recognized Russian town, around the time of Stalin's rule, but where linear time is not a factor, and it touched on issues regarding loyalty, torture, what you will do for your own ends, but it seemed that every time it was starting to hit deeper, before it could really set into the audience, it went into comic relief (or absurdity) to let the audience out of the uncomfortable places. I found myself wishing the writer had let those things hit the audience harder. You're bringing them up, they mean something to you, they should mean something to us, but we get off the hook. Don't let us off so easily. At times it made me think of Gogol, as well as a show put on by The Satori Group last year called "Return to the Albert Joseph," (though those both went deeper and held you there unrelentingly), "1984," and Shakespeare (for the use of the comic relief). The show was "Zappoi!" by Quinn Armstrong, at the Annex Theatre. I didn't mind the comedic/absurdist aspect, just the sudden slight-of-hand use of it, as if to say, "no, I didn't just say that." Yes, you did, and that was a good thing. We tend to push these things under the table because we don't want to think about them, and yet, they still happen. It's good for us to look at it.
I'm about half memorized, I know the gist since I wrote it, but have not cut enough out. I know an overall staging element I want, but need other eyes on it. Have been running songs in my head, one after another, but haven't come up with the right tone. I want it to have an empowering aspect to it, but not overly so, which would be jarring to the rest of the piece. That'll be my evening: memorizing.
(February 22, 2015) - I guess though, my review is only what I want more of, less surface, a little more depth in life. But the reality is, so many things that might be deemed "important" are drowned out by things such as celebrity news or the latest diet trend or reality tv. On any given day, the news feeds online are filled with distractions: something about the Kardashians, something about the Duggars, what some woman wore and how hot (or not) she looked in it, disregarding anything about her personality or anything she might actually think or have done, or some actual story blown up out of proportion (OJ Simpson trial, Jody Arias trial, minute-to-minute coverage of a snowstorm that doesn't actually manifest, etc) to distract while decisions that actually affect your life get made, that you don't hear about. So, that sleight of hand is everywhere, "There is poison in the water...this just in, so and so debuts her post-baby bikini bod!" (So the drunken bear playing the violin and the stereotypical, airheaded, teenage sexpot, aren't that far off base. And yeah, it was probably supposed to be a comedy, or at least absurdist, but you bring in the interrogation element, so...?)
Went to a show last night, almost 3 hours, got home at almost midnight. It was set in a non-recognized Russian town, around the time of Stalin's rule, but where linear time is not a factor, and it touched on issues regarding loyalty, torture, what you will do for your own ends, but it seemed that every time it was starting to hit deeper, before it could really set into the audience, it went into comic relief (or absurdity) to let the audience out of the uncomfortable places. I found myself wishing the writer had let those things hit the audience harder. You're bringing them up, they mean something to you, they should mean something to us, but we get off the hook. Don't let us off so easily. At times it made me think of Gogol, as well as a show put on by The Satori Group last year called "Return to the Albert Joseph," (though those both went deeper and held you there unrelentingly), "1984," and Shakespeare (for the use of the comic relief). The show was "Zappoi!" by Quinn Armstrong, at the Annex Theatre. I didn't mind the comedic/absurdist aspect, just the sudden slight-of-hand use of it, as if to say, "no, I didn't just say that." Yes, you did, and that was a good thing. We tend to push these things under the table because we don't want to think about them, and yet, they still happen. It's good for us to look at it.
I'm about half memorized, I know the gist since I wrote it, but have not cut enough out. I know an overall staging element I want, but need other eyes on it. Have been running songs in my head, one after another, but haven't come up with the right tone. I want it to have an empowering aspect to it, but not overly so, which would be jarring to the rest of the piece. That'll be my evening: memorizing.
(February 22, 2015) - I guess though, my review is only what I want more of, less surface, a little more depth in life. But the reality is, so many things that might be deemed "important" are drowned out by things such as celebrity news or the latest diet trend or reality tv. On any given day, the news feeds online are filled with distractions: something about the Kardashians, something about the Duggars, what some woman wore and how hot (or not) she looked in it, disregarding anything about her personality or anything she might actually think or have done, or some actual story blown up out of proportion (OJ Simpson trial, Jody Arias trial, minute-to-minute coverage of a snowstorm that doesn't actually manifest, etc) to distract while decisions that actually affect your life get made, that you don't hear about. So, that sleight of hand is everywhere, "There is poison in the water...this just in, so and so debuts her post-baby bikini bod!" (So the drunken bear playing the violin and the stereotypical, airheaded, teenage sexpot, aren't that far off base. And yeah, it was probably supposed to be a comedy, or at least absurdist, but you bring in the interrogation element, so...?)
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Day 2
Day 2. Dreamt I was eating bread and cheese without thinking about it, woke up to find that wasn't true, I was probably just hungry. And I woke up late.
The thing is written, more or less. Need to cut about a paragraph out. I was almost exactly at 10 minutes last night. I can cut words for descriptions and just do those things, but it probably still needs to be a little shorter. I also want to add a song at the end, no idea what that should be, but I start with a song. A year ago, I would not have been able to do this. It felt like I needed to sing in the beginning, so I am. Also need to be off-book by Saturday.
After watching all the other work last night I am inspired. Just so full of personality and honesty and creativity. Feel lucky to be a part of this group. We are performing these in a little over two weeks. Wonder how much they will change before then? I know that's soon, but it feels odd to have something down this early. (I tend to change things right up to the end.)
This song's been running in my head all day. "Lloyd, I'm Ready to Be Heart Broken," by Camera Obscura.
http://youtu.be/9gnsWamIB4s?list=PL70DF8ADE53C610FE
The thing is written, more or less. Need to cut about a paragraph out. I was almost exactly at 10 minutes last night. I can cut words for descriptions and just do those things, but it probably still needs to be a little shorter. I also want to add a song at the end, no idea what that should be, but I start with a song. A year ago, I would not have been able to do this. It felt like I needed to sing in the beginning, so I am. Also need to be off-book by Saturday.
After watching all the other work last night I am inspired. Just so full of personality and honesty and creativity. Feel lucky to be a part of this group. We are performing these in a little over two weeks. Wonder how much they will change before then? I know that's soon, but it feels odd to have something down this early. (I tend to change things right up to the end.)
This song's been running in my head all day. "Lloyd, I'm Ready to Be Heart Broken," by Camera Obscura.
http://youtu.be/9gnsWamIB4s?list=PL70DF8ADE53C610FE
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Day 1
Day 1. I was hoping for a priest to bless my journey (inward as it may be), but there was nary a one to be found this morning. (It's Ash Wednesday, some years they have been around for the imposition of ashes.) Instead, I hear the birds sing as they dart between the branches, and the light from the rising sun touches my face, and that will be blessing enough.
As far as the draft goes: more action, less words. If I'm doing it, I don't need to say I'm doing it. (But do I need to write that direction in? Eh...trying to cut. A few sentences too long.)
I suppose I can change it still, but I haven't thought of anything else to perform. Was spending most of my free time thinking about the clown piece. Maybe if I made more time to free write, yeah.
I do know what it's about now, but I don't know if there is enough story. It's about tyrants, which I'm basically defining as voices that tell you that you have to "be good enough" first, "be perfect" before good things can be in your life...and we can never live up to the standards. We will never be true to ourselves, whatever it is we have to offer the world, if we run around trying to please, or worse yet, trying to not offend, others. For me it goes along with the comment of "first world problems." The idea that basically, if I'm not choosing to live in poverty, and giving all my income to "save" others, and saving dying babies (a worthy cause, but you know, work upstream so we're not always in crisis mode), my life is not worth anything. That message is out there. (Someone signing up donors once actually tried to tell me that if I really cared, I could go live in a car to save money so that I could find a way to help others...there is a truth in helping yourself first, not out of greed, but out of self care, so that you are also not someone who now needs help.) Often spread by people (probably not consciously, even) who are not choosing to live that way themselves. And anything bad that happens is your own fault. You weren't being good enough...never mind any other players involved, or a rigged game. If you can figure out what they want and do it, stay in the cage, the tyrants won't strike out.
Okay. So that's heavy. And that's the background of the piece, not the piece itself. It's the mindset I found myself in when the event happened, that I was being "punished" for doing something for myself. I wasn't of course, stuff happens. I carried a sense of dread with every step, until the necessities of life drowned out that fear. Most of the journey was filled with people (relentlessly) teaching me that it was enough to be alive, that my being alive was good...which is one way to break an ingrained belief. (And I guess that makes it about opposing voices.)
It lingers in the background still. Not so loud now.
As far as the draft goes: more action, less words. If I'm doing it, I don't need to say I'm doing it. (But do I need to write that direction in? Eh...trying to cut. A few sentences too long.)
I suppose I can change it still, but I haven't thought of anything else to perform. Was spending most of my free time thinking about the clown piece. Maybe if I made more time to free write, yeah.
I do know what it's about now, but I don't know if there is enough story. It's about tyrants, which I'm basically defining as voices that tell you that you have to "be good enough" first, "be perfect" before good things can be in your life...and we can never live up to the standards. We will never be true to ourselves, whatever it is we have to offer the world, if we run around trying to please, or worse yet, trying to not offend, others. For me it goes along with the comment of "first world problems." The idea that basically, if I'm not choosing to live in poverty, and giving all my income to "save" others, and saving dying babies (a worthy cause, but you know, work upstream so we're not always in crisis mode), my life is not worth anything. That message is out there. (Someone signing up donors once actually tried to tell me that if I really cared, I could go live in a car to save money so that I could find a way to help others...there is a truth in helping yourself first, not out of greed, but out of self care, so that you are also not someone who now needs help.) Often spread by people (probably not consciously, even) who are not choosing to live that way themselves. And anything bad that happens is your own fault. You weren't being good enough...never mind any other players involved, or a rigged game. If you can figure out what they want and do it, stay in the cage, the tyrants won't strike out.
Okay. So that's heavy. And that's the background of the piece, not the piece itself. It's the mindset I found myself in when the event happened, that I was being "punished" for doing something for myself. I wasn't of course, stuff happens. I carried a sense of dread with every step, until the necessities of life drowned out that fear. Most of the journey was filled with people (relentlessly) teaching me that it was enough to be alive, that my being alive was good...which is one way to break an ingrained belief. (And I guess that makes it about opposing voices.)
It lingers in the background still. Not so loud now.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Sun and happy
Woke up from a dream about rebuilding our garden (I think). At one point I was cutting up a Strawberry tree (to donate?) and an old college friend showed up and asked if he could help. (In real life, we had a falling out, and then we bumped into each other in the street a year later, went out for tea and had resolution. Haven't seen him since.) Right before I woke up, I was standing around talking to people, while gnawing through a 2x4 as if it were celery. (?)
Had the opportunity come up to work with someone I would love to work with, and had to turn it down. Seriously, nothing really going on for months, and suddenly four gigs in two weeks which conflict. A small part of me thought about backing out of the previous gigs, but they are a big deal (my solo performance and singing at Benaroya Hall for the 150th Anniversary of Sibelius' birth. That's a big stage for us. I think we are the only choir in the country that regularly performs the Finnish folk songs.) Still, you know...damn.
Had an interesting (and busy) weekend.
Hello audacity! Welcome back.
Had the opportunity come up to work with someone I would love to work with, and had to turn it down. Seriously, nothing really going on for months, and suddenly four gigs in two weeks which conflict. A small part of me thought about backing out of the previous gigs, but they are a big deal (my solo performance and singing at Benaroya Hall for the 150th Anniversary of Sibelius' birth. That's a big stage for us. I think we are the only choir in the country that regularly performs the Finnish folk songs.) Still, you know...damn.
Had an interesting (and busy) weekend.
Hello audacity! Welcome back.
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Sunday
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| Violets, Feb 12/L Herlevi 2015 |
I need to rewrite this tonight. I think I'll show up at the other space tomorrow and see if the confirmation I got was a mistake (wrong date.) I want to work it again with the rewrite before turning in the draft.
I stopped by grocery store on the way home and was excited to see they had a seed display up. A man walked over and we talked about what to grow. Bought peas and arugula. I can't plant yet because my garden is being rebuilt (it's needed that for years, and we just got a grant for maintenance.) Found this chocolate chai tea as well. I figure as long as there's no sweetener it should be okay. I'm only giving up: wheat, soy, sugar, coffee, dairy, alcohol, and solanaceaes. Been feeling physically like crap (my body hurts) for the past few days, so not so hard to give those up. The worst it's been in eight years. Not sure if it's a lingering result of the virus from last week, the stress, or food. It's scaring me enough to take better care of myself.
It was sunny and warm earlier. Now it's still clear and the stars are out. The earth seems to be rushing into spring. Here are pictures of some flowers (and one decided to put itself at the top of the post. My internet connection is spotty, so I'll leave it there.)
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| Tree in Bloom, Feb 14/L Herlevi 2015 |
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| Quince, Feb 14/L Herlevi 2015 |
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Friday the 13th
The (clown) show went well, I think. We sold around 35 tickets (which made the house look full from the stage, there are only 50 seats in all), and people laughed. It got taped, so we can watch it later, but it felt good last night. After the show, the man that runs the theatre made an announcement that we have another show in three months...okay, then. I guess that's part of the "in residency" deal. (I need to write out our piece from last night, too. How it finally went, in the event we ever do it again.)
Onto the next thing.
After Wednesday's class, I was scrambling to find rehearsal space for the long weekend, and finding I was unable to book any of it, even though it was technically available, due to people being out of the office and/or delay times...feeling stressed, when suddenly, in my Facebook feed, something called "Spacefinder" popped up. Basically, it's a listing of available rental space for artists in the city. So, I did book space in the end, in a dance studio. Fortuitous. (Have access to the sound system too, if I need it.) I'm hoping one of the other ones will come through as well, (came through booked for April 16 instead of Feb 16...Mercury isn't even retrograde...I might show up anyway) we have coaching sessions in a week, and I'd like a solid idea before then. We're performing these on March 7. Pretty soon for something that isn't yet written.
An almost free Saturday. First in a long time.
A darkish picture of my clown backstage. Laughing at the antics of a cupcake and a clown.
Onto the next thing.
After Wednesday's class, I was scrambling to find rehearsal space for the long weekend, and finding I was unable to book any of it, even though it was technically available, due to people being out of the office and/or delay times...feeling stressed, when suddenly, in my Facebook feed, something called "Spacefinder" popped up. Basically, it's a listing of available rental space for artists in the city. So, I did book space in the end, in a dance studio. Fortuitous. (Have access to the sound system too, if I need it.) I'm hoping one of the other ones will come through as well, (came through booked for April 16 instead of Feb 16...Mercury isn't even retrograde...I might show up anyway) we have coaching sessions in a week, and I'd like a solid idea before then. We're performing these on March 7. Pretty soon for something that isn't yet written.
An almost free Saturday. First in a long time.
A darkish picture of my clown backstage. Laughing at the antics of a cupcake and a clown.
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| Backstage, Clown Jam Showcase, Feb 13/L Herlevi 2015 |
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
After
And in my waves of self-doubt and feeling like I don't measure up it's good to take a deep breath, and remind myself that in fact, I really like these people. The distance of time and weekly contact might make me forget but, yes, I like these people, and creating in their midst is a good thing.
For next week: a two-page draft and physical work-thru of that.
For next week: a two-page draft and physical work-thru of that.
The interview thing
The caffeine and nerves have made me giddy.
This interview replay is hard (for me.) I have trouble sounding like a human being talking to another human being (which would be the whole point of the acting classes, to learn how to do that) using someone else's words. It just sounds like I'm reading. And yes, this is still an acting class, so I need to get beyond that.
But, something I realized from this is that I need to interview longer when possible, not everything will resonate, and if I have more material, I can cut out the stuff that doesn't. There are a couple of bits that do work, but only a couple. And I'll have to include the other stuff that's harder to work with because I don't have enough. It's dry, I guess. (My instructor called the good questions "juicy", and I agree, and I needed more of them; not as in salacious, but resonate.) You have to get past the inherent awkwardness.
I also realized I want to do more interviews. So much of our conversations are practical, immediate needs being met. Or sometimes we have deep conversations about issues. We don't often really know the people in our lives, it's certainly a privilege to have that. Details about our lives maybe seem unimportant in the moment, small things that nevertheless add up to make us, us. You read these sometimes in obituaries. I remember last year finding out one of my good friends from high school and I were born in the same town. (I've mentioned it before, it struck me as strange at the time that I hadn't known that. I did know when her birthday was. Maybe it wasn't important, but it was interesting.)
For me, both interviewing and being interviewed are definitely a skill, things that take practice. I've been thinking that for a while. Putting my foot in now.
At any rate, I'll be glad when tonight is over and I've presented these two things for class. Almost feel sick now.
This interview replay is hard (for me.) I have trouble sounding like a human being talking to another human being (which would be the whole point of the acting classes, to learn how to do that) using someone else's words. It just sounds like I'm reading. And yes, this is still an acting class, so I need to get beyond that.
But, something I realized from this is that I need to interview longer when possible, not everything will resonate, and if I have more material, I can cut out the stuff that doesn't. There are a couple of bits that do work, but only a couple. And I'll have to include the other stuff that's harder to work with because I don't have enough. It's dry, I guess. (My instructor called the good questions "juicy", and I agree, and I needed more of them; not as in salacious, but resonate.) You have to get past the inherent awkwardness.
I also realized I want to do more interviews. So much of our conversations are practical, immediate needs being met. Or sometimes we have deep conversations about issues. We don't often really know the people in our lives, it's certainly a privilege to have that. Details about our lives maybe seem unimportant in the moment, small things that nevertheless add up to make us, us. You read these sometimes in obituaries. I remember last year finding out one of my good friends from high school and I were born in the same town. (I've mentioned it before, it struck me as strange at the time that I hadn't known that. I did know when her birthday was. Maybe it wasn't important, but it was interesting.)
For me, both interviewing and being interviewed are definitely a skill, things that take practice. I've been thinking that for a while. Putting my foot in now.
At any rate, I'll be glad when tonight is over and I've presented these two things for class. Almost feel sick now.
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Swamped
Walking down the street tonight, after rehearsal, I stopped to look at flowers strewn on the ground, and then looked up: Plum tree in bloom. They threw me off, I forgot it's still actually winter.
Rehearsed for a few hours tonight, the first for class (because the space was empty), and the last couple for the show. It feels more solid, there are some things I need to decide for myself, but we've pared it down. End result is that the main story changed again, almost back to the original one. Letting go of bits we all liked that didn't serve the story, made it muddy. We can use them somewhere else, maybe.
Feeling better about the movement assignment for class. (And slightly less so for the interview piece.) Better, not fantastic, though I did find an interesting character change when I dropped the energy level down. And one of the energy centers I chose makes me feel like an animal, I just hope I let myself follow through with it and don't get overly self-conscious...it's not the first time I've gone there. Just the first time with these particular people. I think the inherent nervousness might actually help both pieces. (Fingers crossed on that. There have been run-thrus that have gone well, just need to hit that when I/we do it for real.)
And after this week, we start on the actual solo work. And three shows with the choir (so, double rehearsals most weeks), all within the next month. I decided not to do the generals (auditions), didn't feel ready after the audition class, and haven't devoted enough time to finding and polishing monologues I like in the interim...and I still need to save up for a head shot. Soon.
My co-worker and I decided to give up wheat and sugar for Lent. Maybe the added structure and the slight competition will help me stick with this. Sometimes it's easier if I'm accountable to someone else.
Was digging through my pockets in my costume bag and found $5 (better than finding underwear); someone must have put it there, I was broke all week.
Rehearsed for a few hours tonight, the first for class (because the space was empty), and the last couple for the show. It feels more solid, there are some things I need to decide for myself, but we've pared it down. End result is that the main story changed again, almost back to the original one. Letting go of bits we all liked that didn't serve the story, made it muddy. We can use them somewhere else, maybe.
Feeling better about the movement assignment for class. (And slightly less so for the interview piece.) Better, not fantastic, though I did find an interesting character change when I dropped the energy level down. And one of the energy centers I chose makes me feel like an animal, I just hope I let myself follow through with it and don't get overly self-conscious...it's not the first time I've gone there. Just the first time with these particular people. I think the inherent nervousness might actually help both pieces. (Fingers crossed on that. There have been run-thrus that have gone well, just need to hit that when I/we do it for real.)
And after this week, we start on the actual solo work. And three shows with the choir (so, double rehearsals most weeks), all within the next month. I decided not to do the generals (auditions), didn't feel ready after the audition class, and haven't devoted enough time to finding and polishing monologues I like in the interim...and I still need to save up for a head shot. Soon.
My co-worker and I decided to give up wheat and sugar for Lent. Maybe the added structure and the slight competition will help me stick with this. Sometimes it's easier if I'm accountable to someone else.
Was digging through my pockets in my costume bag and found $5 (better than finding underwear); someone must have put it there, I was broke all week.
Monday, February 9, 2015
Right now
Life tricks us into thinking we have more time than we do. We have now. Just now. We are afraid. We procrastinate. We make excuses. There is no other time. Choose love.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Stories
Did not sleep of course, due to excruciating jaw pain, which then lasted most of the day until I took a chance with ibuprofen, after which, I slept for most of the afternoon. I'm pretty sure this is just a cold, but I'm exhausted. Got up to walk across the street earlier to get something to eat, only to come back home and go back to sleep. And then feeling feverish and craving fried chicken (all day), finally got out of the house again after 8 pm, and walked in the pouring rain to the grocery store. The cooler, damp air felt good. Drank a kale and ginger smoothie (vitamins, if nothing else), and went back to bed. Woke up late with a backache and feeling slow, but improved, so I went to work. I had things that had to get done today, by me. I don't hurt anymore, but I'm still tired.
I missed class. Will have to do a make-up next week, and call to find out more about this week's homework. We need to interview someone and than present that next week in front of the class. It's a set back, I rarely miss a class. (Don't think I've ever missed a theatre class.) Who to interview? The assignment excites me, I like hearing people's stories, we so rarely hear or tell them while we are living. I am often surprised. I am, however, also intimidated to make the initial ask. I think many people would like to tell stories from their lives, and are never asked. It's flattering that anyone would want to know. There is trust (I won't be recording it) with your story, and getting over the social barrier of asking. It seems invasive (from my end things, to ask.) It's similar to the playback exercise from Meisner last year, and the story replay from that workshop at On the Boards last spring. Just one. In person.
Sooner is better than later, a week is not so much time.
Need to get to singing rehearsal.
Think there are two new housemates. Haven't seen either of them.
I missed class. Will have to do a make-up next week, and call to find out more about this week's homework. We need to interview someone and than present that next week in front of the class. It's a set back, I rarely miss a class. (Don't think I've ever missed a theatre class.) Who to interview? The assignment excites me, I like hearing people's stories, we so rarely hear or tell them while we are living. I am often surprised. I am, however, also intimidated to make the initial ask. I think many people would like to tell stories from their lives, and are never asked. It's flattering that anyone would want to know. There is trust (I won't be recording it) with your story, and getting over the social barrier of asking. It seems invasive (from my end things, to ask.) It's similar to the playback exercise from Meisner last year, and the story replay from that workshop at On the Boards last spring. Just one. In person.
Sooner is better than later, a week is not so much time.
Need to get to singing rehearsal.
Think there are two new housemates. Haven't seen either of them.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
Almost a show
One of these bugs going around finally caught up with me. It might have been inevitable what with all the sneezing and coughing going on. Think it's only a cold though, nose running like a faucet and my face hurts, mostly my jaw. Anti-inflammatories don't help much, just have to wait it out. At least the sore throat part was less than a day, when I was younger that'd last for weeks.
I think our show is coming together. We had second-to-last rehearsal tonight. We know the order, and who's moving set pieces. We worked our piece a few times, new person added, it's set at three now. Coming together, using clown elements. In spite of being sick, I was more present than I have been and my energy was high. I spent a couple hours in the studio earlier today working on a movement piece for class, due tomorrow. Not sure I have anything, but it made for a good workout. I mostly wanted to see what type of characters emerged from particular modes of movement and gesture, not sure exactly what is expected. I feel like most people will have a dance, but I didn't really go in that direction, hopefully, it's good enough. I'm not really a dancer, and I'm still trying to find my clown, so I spent time on that. Then I went home and took a nap, taking the rest of the day as a sick day. Eventually crawling out of bed to go to clown jam. Had to.
I've re-written my solo piece from last week, in the event it's what I end up using. It's still a little muddy. Someone asked me what it was about and I had trouble answering, so that's something I need to get clear on. You should be able to say it in a sentence or two. I'm gonna try to do that with every play I read now, it's good practice. It helps you focus, know what the point is, what everything is leading toward.
There are a couple of solo showcases going on around town. Gonna try to catch some of them, see what people present, and how they do that.
I should attempt to sleep.
I think our show is coming together. We had second-to-last rehearsal tonight. We know the order, and who's moving set pieces. We worked our piece a few times, new person added, it's set at three now. Coming together, using clown elements. In spite of being sick, I was more present than I have been and my energy was high. I spent a couple hours in the studio earlier today working on a movement piece for class, due tomorrow. Not sure I have anything, but it made for a good workout. I mostly wanted to see what type of characters emerged from particular modes of movement and gesture, not sure exactly what is expected. I feel like most people will have a dance, but I didn't really go in that direction, hopefully, it's good enough. I'm not really a dancer, and I'm still trying to find my clown, so I spent time on that. Then I went home and took a nap, taking the rest of the day as a sick day. Eventually crawling out of bed to go to clown jam. Had to.
I've re-written my solo piece from last week, in the event it's what I end up using. It's still a little muddy. Someone asked me what it was about and I had trouble answering, so that's something I need to get clear on. You should be able to say it in a sentence or two. I'm gonna try to do that with every play I read now, it's good practice. It helps you focus, know what the point is, what everything is leading toward.
There are a couple of solo showcases going on around town. Gonna try to catch some of them, see what people present, and how they do that.
I should attempt to sleep.
Monday, February 2, 2015
Stuff of drama
Coming home last night after the game, the quiet streets feels like a ghost-town, one full of people. The storefronts dark, but people everywhere, the occasional random out breaks of "SEA" "HAWKS" chanting, and the odd Patriots shout out, but otherwise relatively silent. Like the Fourth of July, or New Year's Eve, but without the joy. The burger joint empty, but one, of customers, the employees leaning, disconsolately, on the counters. Bus ride home almost silent. So close. (They had to shoot the fireworks off of the Needle; light and smoke quickly dissolving into the night.)
Saw Seattle Shakespeare Company's "Measure for Measure", directed by Desdemona Chiang, earlier in the day. A solid ensemble piece (great casting, and connection between the actors.) Standing out for embodiment of character were Scott Ward Abernathy as Pompey, and Tim Gouran as Lucio, both of them having a wonderful agility and mastery with the language, the latter speaking Shakespeare's words like a skater, and bringing an immediacy to it so that I never got lost in what he was saying, and I was ever drawn further into the story.
Saw Maxim Gorky's "The Lower Depths," by Theatre Machine and directed by Melissa Fenwick, the night before. A play about those who have lost and been tossed out by society as useless. About finding the humanity in one another, and the hope that breeds a longing to be something better, to find a purpose in life, even if those hopes are shattered in the end. Another show where all parts worked seamlessly together (sound, set, lighting, staging, acting) to tell one story. Had a kick-ass ensemble, with the actors always alive and connected on stage. There was singing, and I liked that it was normal people singing, in every day life, nothing fancy. Also, had both humor and pathos flowing into each other, never feeling false, always feeling like life. Fantastic.
I'm hoping the rain will let up, it's dumping. I'm not in the mood to get soaked. The week ahead, rainy and mild, no chance of snow.
Saw Seattle Shakespeare Company's "Measure for Measure", directed by Desdemona Chiang, earlier in the day. A solid ensemble piece (great casting, and connection between the actors.) Standing out for embodiment of character were Scott Ward Abernathy as Pompey, and Tim Gouran as Lucio, both of them having a wonderful agility and mastery with the language, the latter speaking Shakespeare's words like a skater, and bringing an immediacy to it so that I never got lost in what he was saying, and I was ever drawn further into the story.
Saw Maxim Gorky's "The Lower Depths," by Theatre Machine and directed by Melissa Fenwick, the night before. A play about those who have lost and been tossed out by society as useless. About finding the humanity in one another, and the hope that breeds a longing to be something better, to find a purpose in life, even if those hopes are shattered in the end. Another show where all parts worked seamlessly together (sound, set, lighting, staging, acting) to tell one story. Had a kick-ass ensemble, with the actors always alive and connected on stage. There was singing, and I liked that it was normal people singing, in every day life, nothing fancy. Also, had both humor and pathos flowing into each other, never feeling false, always feeling like life. Fantastic.
I'm hoping the rain will let up, it's dumping. I'm not in the mood to get soaked. The week ahead, rainy and mild, no chance of snow.
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