Wednesday, sunny

It feels like magic, only it's the accumulation of doing the work that feels rote and everyday, nothing much special, and then out-of-the blue something coherent comes together.  Not what I thought I was gonna write, and could use refinement, but happy to have written something.  One week survived.  Again, the fear of "being wrong" keeping me from a bolder decision.  Saying or thinking about doing something and acting on it are different, obviously.  Still, I need to have more faith that doing the background work will get me closer to where I want to go.  Led by people who have been there before.

Took off of work, woke up with a splitting headache, I still have it, but I need to go to class.  Found a million ways to procrastinate this particular page of writing (the one for class.)  Something about it being publicly shared, everyone used such colorful language last week, mine more pedestrian, though it works for me most of the time.  Still it's intimidating, it raises the bar, even if I need to have my own voice, not trying to impress someone else with language that isn't mine.

Went for a walk to take some dvd's back to the library, the scenic route.  Sun shining blindingly in my eyes off of the water's surface.  The geese swimming, haven't seen them in a while, not on the water.  They were making grumbling noises as they floated around.  I moved closer to look at them.  They swam over to me, grumbling.  I didn't feed them.  They splashed water around for a while with their beaks, and then swam away, grumbling.  An explosion of birds hit the water all at once, splash and flutter.  Wigeons.  The boy sitting to my left pulled out his phone surreptitiously to snap a shot of the chaos, then went back to his book.  I smiled.  I woulda' done the same, but wasn't carrying one.

Almost five and still light out.  I guess it's time to go.