Thaw

Looked in a mirror right before I left the house and realize that my face had broken out.  Nothing I could really do about it.  Later at work, a friend walked up to me out of the blue to tell me she thought I looked beautiful.  It was touching, how often do you get told that?  (It's like the two classmates who said they didn't really notice my forehead dent, it looks like a canyon to me.  We are too self-conscious about what we deem are our physical flaws.  Other people view us in a kinder light.)

The flora seems undeterred by the recent freezing spell and snow: pushing out leaves and buds and flowers now.  Hellebores are in full bloom.  Crocus, too, though they were out before the cold snap.  Stopped by my garden on my way to a mason bee workshop, and had purple broccoli and what might be collards going all out.  Might attempt hosting mason bees this spring if I can find a spot with enough flowering plants for them, they are only active mid-March to late May and eat only pollen.  Tiny things, I wouldn't have recognized them in the wild if I had not seen them up close.  You can rent a kit and return it in the fall, I'll probably do that.

Decided on a monologue (but I'll bring all three) and figured out a couple more songs that I could sing, so need to memorize the monologue and work up the guts to volunteer to do my mirror exercise tomorrow.  I think half the class has gone at this point...I don't want to go last.  I also suspect that while the prospect is still scary, if less than it was initially, it will also be liberating.  I don't know any opera nor can I think of a jazz standard I know (sung by a woman.)  I suppose I could do, These are a Few of My Favorite Things, if I had to; pretty much a jazz standard at this point.  There are at least three other parts that terrify me...the speech and the initial mirror being the main two: my thoughts tend to be scattered, and what if I don't have any impulses?  I do worry too much.  What will be, will be.  None of that will change in the next two weeks, and I'll have to go sooner or later anyway.

Peace.  Have a song and a monologue to learn.