Monday

Volunteered at the general auditions this morning.  It's energizing.  Didn't want to leave.  (Met people.  Got to watch a few auditions after the first break.  Now have a much better sense of: what to wear, how to introduce yourself, how to transition.)  Just gotta say though, that if you're gonna be a no show, can't be good karma.  Maybe less of an issue on a union day than on the non-union days, but there is a loonnnggg wait list of people that woulda' liked that spot.  Just sayin'.  I want this life.

Just saw on my calendar that I was supposed to go to some (cryptic) performance over the weekend, that I missed.  It was on my work calendar.  "Cryptic" because I wrote down very little except the time and the venue.  I'll have to look it up.  I suspect it had to do with women's voices, as Saturday was International Women's Day.  I need to keep track of my life better.

Just met someone who knew Mamet (knows?)  Gave me a little more insight into the play.  Also from class last night, much of what I've been thinking about her: yes...and (all of those are/could be true.)  I like her more now.  Seeing her as someone on a type of crusade for change, and not just out to destroy him.  She's trying to "school" him in this scene, to get him to wake up and change.  Doesn't explain the assault accusation nor the ending, but I'm all over the place on the ending, could mean a lot of things.  Who is "the group?"  What would I (the actor) fight for?  What do I want?  What is my moment before?  Still unsure of how to prepare to enter.  He asked me to show up.  I was advised by others not to.  I think he knows about the assault charge. (But I find out over the course of this act that he does not.)  I walk in with a list of demands, and also I want to explain to him where he has erred.  I'm trying to save him.

Started reading the play, again, on the bus.  Had more insights, but couldn't find my pen.  Looked out the window and there was a massive, flattened rainbow to the north, lying across the top of a hill.  Water running.  Rain drops hanging off of every tree branch like tiny sparkling stars.  Clouds parting and falling back to the horizons, sunlight breaking through and bathing it all in a blinding white light.  The clouds have now retaken the sky.  I believe it will rain.