Why

The reason I'm writing about this weirdness with the house is 1) if anything were to happen, it's written somewhere; but mostly 2) I feel like that even if this behavior isn't decidedly abusive, it's easily escalating into that territory and silence, isolation and shame perpetuate a cycle of abuse.  If I were to keep this to myself, I might easily justify it (given my past co-dependency) and continue to allow myself to remain in unhealthy situations, making excuses for it.  Because even if it was due to drug use (and I have no clue) on his part, that doesn't excuse it, i.e., you don't get to get wasted and beat someone up and then blame it on the substance (as an example.)  You're still responsible for what happened, at some point in the process you made a conscious choice that slid you from A to B or X or however far it went.  And for the record, because I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt to my own detriment, I've been telling everybody, so that I don't.  I don't want to justify the appalling and inconceivable concept that I stepped in human excrement on my basement floor.  (There's nothing physically wrong with anyone here that they couldn't make it to the toilet.)  Apologies for the crudeness.

On a brighter (seriously, it only goes up from there) note, went and saw "Little Shop of Horrors" at ACT this afternoon.  (I have an monthly pass, that I've already paid for but was too busy to use this month, so going to another show this weekend on it.)  And while I'll agree with the friend that thought it was too loud at times (there were moments I couldn't make out what was being said/sung) it was wonderfully well-cast, and very enjoyable.  I think I might have seen the movie a long, long time ago, or part of it.  Anyway, the whole thing, sets, lighting, music, choreography, casting, acting, directing, etc, was well done.  Really fun.  It runs through June, might go see it again.  I called at the last minute, and there were only a few seats available, so ended up with a fifth row, center seat, which was great, but if I were to see it again, I might try to get a side seat because the actors interact somewhat with the audience on the sides.  (And in spite of not sleeping much last night and falling asleep on the bus on the way to the theatre, I was completely wide awake the whole time.)  And it was fun seeing all the Comi-Con folks wandering spilling out everywhere downtown.  Made the city more feel more alive.

And have been actively looking for places, but if there's nothing to call, there's nothing to call.