Ihana

My favorite time of night: the eastern and southern edges of the sky darkening first, the west and north the palest of greenish blue, the brightest stars beginning to shine, pale at first, barely visible.  The air is still warm with the occasional puff of cooler air now and again as I walk.  The further I walk, the darker it gets, and the more stars break through the canopy of sky.  Far, far above, the distant light of long distance flight speeds northward.  The squeak of a screen door, the sound of a conversation in the dark, through a window or in a yard, I can't see at any rate, just voices, alone in the vastness, sometimes the clink of a fork on a ceramic plate.  It's not just the clouds from last night that made it seem so, night does fall quickly now once the sun has set.  I imagine it in my head as a lingering dusk, but that's not quite the case.

Tonight, I was able to sit on the floor cross-legged without tipping back, which is what I do/did, but not the typical posture for most people, most people tip forward.  I have an aversion to the ground.  Not sure when or where that started, I notice it when I try to sit on the floor, in the way I revert in walking if I'm not conscious about it.  I tend to think of it as my center of gravity drifting up, but that's probably a symptom.  I do know I wasn't always that way.  The wrist injury makes it more pronounced, because I'm afraid of doing more damage, but I know this tendency was there long before the injury, it only exacerbates it.  I studied a martial art for a couple of years and was pretty good about falling, and last summer in clown there was some breakthrough (as in biomechanics class, with the awareness of walking and how my feet moved against the floor).  I guess it's like my body is attached to my head to carry it around, to be in service to it, rather than being one whole being.  If I learned it, then I can unlearn it.

The workshop is fun, and nonthreatening, even if we do have to do things in front of everyone else.  There's no judgment.  I was given an add code, so I guess I'm in it officially.

Missed the bus home because the first one was late and I thought I had to wait another 15 minutes and so I caught a different one and then walked 22 blocks...it was a lovely evening for a walk.