Thursday

Woke up early, fell back asleep and had a meandering dream that involved: On the Boards, SIFF, my parent's house, Whole Foods, and eventually Bosnia.  I woke up suddenly (and late, almost 7 am) from where I was witnessing a parade of giant "men" who were going to battle it out and looked down to realize I was carrying a Holga and not a digital camera like I'd thought, and therefore, had not actually taken any of the pictures I'd thought I'd taken, that the film must not be advancing properly.  Woke up happy, wistful and groggy.  The grogginess has lasted all day.  (The parade had two different sides "devils" and "saints" they converged where I was standing.  They were a little frightening, both in numbers and in size and in that I and  the people I was with, other travelers, were the only people to witness it.)  I was happy because I like to travel and everything was beautiful to me.  Maybe I just need a vacation; been a while.

I didn't do an individual exercise tonight, though we all practiced walking up and down stairs. I need to work more on the walking up, the walking down has improved.  On the up, the leg swings forward at the hip joint, but I'm somehow trying to lift it, which is extra work.  She suggested (via email) that I work on a monologue (or text) but I didn't have it on me, been carrying it around for so long it was a  relief to take it out of my bag.  I wanted to work on either the moment before, or having to "hit" an emotional cue (usually because it was written in by the playwright.)  I have trouble with both, and if there's a different way that might work for me, I'm all for trying it.  (I never want to have to lie, and right now, I feel like I would have to fake it, if there's a way to get there truthfully, for me, I'd like to find it.)  I'll try to do it tomorrow.

Today I've been feeling overwhelmed with the new information.  It's different enough, in some ways, from what I knew previously, that it's almost too much.  My brain is feeling pretty fried trying to juggle everything, make sense and integrate it together as much as possible, if it is possible, and if not, to decide which bits are kept and which rejected.  Because of this, I'm also all over the map regarding the ETI program.  I have to decide by July 15. There are so many factors, I just don't know.