Something to want

I found something I'm psyched to pursue, this whole performing arts thing. I'm about as excited as I was about Spain. I wanted this when I was younger, but as I've said elsewhere, I didn't allow myself to want things then, and sold myself short, and I'm more whole now (which is a good thing in the art world, so easy to lose yourself, there's so much rejection, so much striving). I'm trying to keep showing up for this, for me. And since I won't travel anywhere this year, I'm hoping to use vacation time to study daily. There are some intense workshops, one probably above my level, but a collaboration project, and if I can get out of my own way and carry my weight, it would be a fantastic experience. The others involve speech, and getting rid of blocks. We'll see. But I'm really excited, I mean the sun's out and it's warm, and I'm able to finally eat again after like 6 weeks of barely eating...all these things are good.