Monday

The meditation last night involved spinning, 15-20 minutes worth.  I kept slowing and stopping just to check on my dizziness levels and to make sure I was fine.  I was fine.  I guess people sometimes focus on a hand, though I didn't (didn't cross my mind to), tried to keep an eye out for the people around me.  With the openness of the chest and the outstretched arms I went into gratitude, reciting (in my head) all the things I was thankful for.  The first half was a long, moving, breathing form.  My mind went all over the place.  I kept thinking that when I got tired my mind would focus more, but no.  Did keep up the form though (and we were all in sync, which was cool to witness.)  I'd like to do it again.

I need to figure out what my character's (Carolyn) deeper crisis is.  And where I find that in myself.  Both of them stopped communicating, she's just more aware of it now.  People take each other for granted over time, not because they don't care, but maybe in part because the objective of finding each other has been met (checked off) and they put their energy into the other parts of their lives, believing the relationship to be solid, but you have to make an effort there, too.  I think over time, these two people changed, perhaps gradually, but their habits and the way they dealt with the world and with each other stayed at the way it was set, and now they both: 1) don't know each other anymore; 2) possibly don't know themselves; 3) find that the language they use no longer reaches the people they've become.  Where she's culpable is in that she doesn't trust him enough to try to share it with him: 1) she tells him she wants a divorce out of the blue; 2) says that she's sorry, that she shouldn't have said anything and just remained unhappy.  I want to keep those in the scene, otherwise, it puts all the responsibility on him, and she needs to bear some, too.

Got a month to pull these together (they will be publically performed.)  Hardly seems like enough time.  We need to work in the fight choreography, too.  I'm on the fence regarding whether or not these people stay together after this is over, there's an issue of narcissism and a lot of violence (at this moment in time, anyway.)

Nice string of sunny days, but still probably too cold to put the tomatoes out.  Kinda' forgotten I bought them...they do alright in spite of me.  (And I need to weed, and harvest the collards-planted a year ago...just produced within the last few months.  They went dormant for most of the year.)  This is why I do not have pets.  (Though pets don't let you forget them, which is good.  Not against them, I like animals, just don't currently have the time or attention span to be directly responsible for them.)