Well

Well, both my recommendations went MIA so I don't know...someone said they'd follow up, but I haven't heard anything since.  Maybe I misunderstood or misheard that they'd been sent, don't know, seems to be my running theme, as of late.  Guess I'll start auditioning for shows and get some experience.  I'm not gonna sweat it.  Opens up being able to spend the money for summer workshop tuition.  There are many ways to learn.  I'd still like to find a way to do an intensive, conservatory/grad school training, because I think it would be helpful, but I'm not going to take it as a "no" to pursuing acting.  It's just a (possible-maybe they will turn up, who knows?) "no" to the program.

I've figured out that what happened on Sunday was a very strong "as if."  I think there are a couple sections I can plug it into the text (the beginning, as well as the end.)  We did a couple "non-traditional" readings of the script last night and I was surprised that new information came out of that.  Super helpful.

Keep being reminded that there's no point in holding onto nothing, when you're the only one that gives a damn.  I can't be the only one making an effort, yet I am.  What am I avoiding by holding on?  Why am I continually choosing to hold out hope when hope has long left the station?  As someone posted today, "if you could love the wrong person that much, imagine how much you could love the right one..." although, I probably love the "wrong" (for me) one because there's no risk of reciprocation.  Just a thought.  (I blame no one, I've just have trouble walking away; trying to figure out why that is.)

(Oh, she wrote me and told me not to worry about the letters.  I think it's the let down of the stress of trying to get everything done and then being done for the moment, that makes me not give a damn about that today.  I woke up not caring.)

Oh, how time flies, actually only turned this on to listen to music while I tackle a few more boxes of stuff.  Will do that now.  Next time I move, I want less stuff, plus, this room would be nicer with less in it.  Slow progress at gaining free space.  I'll take what I can get.