Not sure what I want

Wandered around most of the day and then rushed to try to get to a friend's show in another part of town.  Bus was late, waiting, big raindrops falling and leaving marks like footprints of some previously unknown species.  Made it just in the nick of time.  A very long bus ride where half the bus was drunk and it seemed as if a fight would break out at any moment, as one passenger seemed bent on it; thankfully everyone around him mostly just humored him rather than choosing to take offense. Still, happy to finally get to my stop.

I loved the show, I'd seen a shorter version of it about a month or so ago.  Like this version more.  She's taking it out to the fringe festivals in Winnipeg and Chicago this summer.  It's called "The Two Step," if you are interested.  Will also be playing at the Seattle Fringe Festival in September.

I haven't decided on the conservatory program yet, but was talking about it with friends tonight.  Someone in my Alexander Technique class had mentioned looking into crowd-funding to help pay for it (someone else mentioned applying for an artist grant), and then this week I saw an article on the BBC about people using crowd-funding to pay for vacations and plastic surgery...it's not the worst thing in the world to ask for help for education.  Anyway, a friend offered to help me with the money end (I'm not good at asking for things for myself, and I don't know...I suppose people don't have to fund it, but I won't know if they would unless I ask, I probably shouldn't decide that for them.  Someone else at the table echoed that as well.  I hate asking for money.)

I need to clear my head and really think this through this week.  I've been all over the map and I haven't had time to really sit with what either choice would mean.  I feel like a lot changed over the past year, and I don't want to lose that.  It's huge upheaval to say "yes," but my life isn't really working for me right now and I don't see that changing unless I choose differently, so upheaval might not be the worst choice in the long run.

I saw this in my wanderings...oh, misplaced my cable, picture to follow, when I find it.